A Day in the Life of Medicated Pete

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MISS HOWARDTV, ARIANA LOKEN

MISS HOWARDTV, ARIANA LOKEN


ARIANA LOKEN, MISS HOWARDTV JULY











Ariana Loken, Miss HowardTV for the month of July, stopped by the meet the crew and discuss her $5.99/minute job as a webcam girl: “I’ll, like, kind of touch myself but I don’t get crazy.” At one point, she used a candy ‘cockpop’ but was quickly discouraged: “Playboy told me I couldn’t use it anymore...I don’t know if they’re trying to keep that ‘good girl’--I don’t know.” She does pretty well--her record for a private chat is over 2 and a half hours: “I get about 60% of that.” After some not-so-quick math, Howard pegged her earnings at about $600.



Ariana said she and her boyfriend were on a break, but they still hook up: “This is going to sound weird but I have the tiniest butthole. I’ve been told--by him. Like, he’s obsessed with it. We tried (anal) and it was not going in. There was no way...a finger will fit but that’s about it.” Ariana hoped to settle down within 2 years: “Yes, hopefully married. I’d like to do more modeling.”



SHE WAXES HER MOM’S BUTT



Ariana said her mom also had a tiny butthole: “She does! I wax her.” Ariana’s mom then came in to confirm, saying she felt weird about it--but only initially: “At first I did, but not anymore. When she first started waxing, I thought I’d save money.” Ariana’s mom said her daughter always tries to wax her vagina lips as well: “I let her sometimes.”
howardstern.com

HOWARD STERN: Miss Howard TV May 2011 & Miss Howard TV of the Year 2010 ...

ASPEN RAE miss howard tv & JESSICA HAHN visit howard

ASPEN RAE, MISS HOWARD TV FEBRUARY




Aspen Rae, Miss HowardTV for the month of February, stopped by to meet the crew and said she was glad to find work--she once was refused a job at In-N-Out Burger. Howard couldn’t understand: “I would fire the whole crew...I would hire her just so I could beat off to her at night.” Aspen said she’s also had trouble finding a guy: “I guess you could call me a lesbian for the last year and a half. I haven’t been with a man in a long time.”



Aspen told the crew she worked as a ‘webcam girl’ to pay her college tuition--but refuses to be a prostitute: “You can watch me f’ myself for $10,000 but that’s where I draw the line.” Howard asked if she often ran into guys who, like JD, enjoy watching her suck on dildos, and Aspen nodded: “I actually have a dildo that I can make come. Like, make it shoot out fake cum.” JD came in to say he wasn’t interested: “I’m not on any sites anymore. Since January.”

AN EARLY MORNING SYBIAN RIDE



















Aspen then jumped on the Sybian and said she was more than familiar with the device: “I have one at home.” Gary asked Aspen if she’d like to remove her bottoms and took over the controls. Aspen displayed remarkable control: “Oh my god. It feels so good...you think I can come right now? You want me to?” Howard nodded (“Do it, baby!”) but Robin was shocked by the result: “Catch her! She’s going to fall!” Aspen later explained: “I have violent orgasms.” Howard laughed: “I was afraid for your life!”

JESSICA HAHN IS TRIM, SOBER



Jessica Hahn stopped by to catch up with the crew and show off her hot new body: “I just lost like 40 pounds.” Howard asked what had happened to Jessica after the last time they spoke--shortly after the death of ‘Married With Howard Stern's Butt Bongo FiestaChildren’ producer Ron Leavitt, her long-time partner--so Jessica said Ron’s death sent her into a downward spiral: “I laid in bed for three years. I was embarrassed because I was gaining weight.”

Jessica explained that Ron’s children immediately turned on her after his death, telling her she had to survive for 60 days before she’d inherit what he had left her: “The very next day, the kids turned off my heat, my electricity, my phones...” Somehow, Ron’s ex-wife even managed to keep Jessica from mourning with the family: “I was prohibited by his [ex-]wife from his funeral.”  howardstern.com

STAFF IQ TEST AND MISS HOWARD TV dECEMBER

STAFF IQ TEST-ROUND 2: RESULTS




















Howard then announced the results from lowest to highest--the first, with a score of 87, was Bobo. Bobo was crestfallen, fearing that all of his neighbors were listening: "I'm in bad shape...this is so damaging. I'm going to have to move." Eric the Midget was next with a score of 90, shrugging: "I guess it's a reasonable number." Steve Grillo registered a 99: "Figured that." Will the Farter came in one point higher at 100.

The staffers took the top three slots, starting with Mike Gange at 110--the lowest score he thought he could be happy with: "I would like to have been higher but at least 110 is my line." Jon Hein surprised everyone by tying Gary's 121: "When I walked out of the test--I told a couple people--I knew I didn't kill it." Will crowed over his victory--before the score was announced: "Scott! Suck my balls!" Howard then announced it as 130. Will pumped his fists: "Eat it! That's what's up!"

MEET VIVIAN VON QUEEF



























Before he left, Will the Farter introduced Howard to his protege, Vivian Von Queef, who discovered she could queef at the age of 12 by blowing bubbles in the bathtub. Vivian promptly stripped down to her thong and boots and queefed along to Silent Night, with Will the Farter’s accompaniment. Howard sang modified lyrics: 'Sleep in heavenly queef!' Later, Vivian jumped on the Sybian, but it had no effect: "I think you're going to mess up my queefing. You're going to de-tune my instrument."

NATALIE NICE, MISS HOWARDTV DECEMBER













Natalie Nice, Miss HowardTV for the month of December, stopped by to meet Howard. Natalie said she posed naked and hooked up with other women on her Website: "One time on a shoot I double-fisted a girl. It was really disturbing." Before doing porn, Natalie worked as a 'personal banker'--and housewife: "We actually met in a political studies class...I always wanted to go to law school. When I'm done with the Website, maybe."

Natalie showed Howard the large birthmark she had near her genitals: "I call it my Cindy Crawford pussy. I have a little beauty mark next to my pussy...in pictures it really sets me apart." Natalie said her Website's subscribers are her birthmark’s biggest fans--though some just want abuse: "A lot of guys on cam like to be humiliated. They ask for it. A lot of guys like small penis humiliation."

Howard asked Natalie to give him an example of 'small penis humiliation,' so she told him he wasn't hung like a man: "I wouldn't even consider you a girl." Howard had his fill immediately: "Ok that's enough for me." Natalie then jumped on the Sybian and, with a little coaching from Gange, Gary and Will, reached climax: "Easy, tiger! That felt good! That was definitely shaking me."

LESLIE MARIE SANTA MISS HOWARDTV OCTOBER / GARY IS GOING ON DAVID LETTERMAN

LESLIE MARIE SANTA MISS HOWARDTV OCTOBER




Leslie Marie Santa, Miss HowardTV for the month of October, stopped by and showed off her 5'4", 98lb frame: "I kind of stopped growing in 8th grade." Howard laughed: "You're like a little kid--almost. With big giant jugs."



Leslie said she liked to put said jugs to good use ("I cook topless a lot.") and was always ready to go: "If I'm not in the mood, I'm not going to shut it down. I'll still do things for him...I just like to please my man."

MIDGETS MAKE HER PASS OUT



Leslie revealed that she passed out whenever she saw a midget: "That's been happening to me since I was little and I don't really know why...it's not like I'm trying to be an asshole. I don't know why." Howard thought Leslie posed a danger to others ("Can you drive a car? What if you see a midget while you're driving?") and got Eric the Midget on the line to ask what he thought. Eric was annoyed: "Why do you have to put me on now?"



While Eric was on the line, Leslie looked around fearfully: "He better not be here...I don't want to see him walking around like that little Oompa Loompa walk." Howard thought Leslie needed to confront her fear like G. Gordon Liddy, who overcame his mortal fear of rats by eating one: "You have to eat a midget." Both Leslie and Eric refused. Fred laughed that Leslie was almost too good to be true: "Everything sounds perfect. She must have a cock."
BABA BOOEY TO DO LETTERMAN.  HOWARD STERN.COM




Lisa G reported that Gary had been booked to appear on Letterman to promote 'They Call Me Baba Booey.' Gary was very excited about the news: "It's a big booking, man. It's huge." Howard wondered how Letterman would introduce Gary: "Ladies and gentleman, here's a guy nobody cares about. He's written a book about himself." Gary laughed: "I spent the whole weekend thinking about what he's going to talk to me about, and I couldn't come up with anything."

After riffing on the bomb-potential of the segment for a while, Howard changed his mind, saying he thought Gary's segment might go well: "One thing Gary's not short on is words." But Howard and Fred still doubted whether Gary's book was any good. Gary bristled: "Was every single page in your book gold, Howard?" Howard admitted Gary had a point--an irrelevant one: "But I'm Howard."

Miss Howard TV - Karin Noelle

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Miss Howard TV - Destiny Dixon ( March )

Miss Howard TV - Destiny DixonDESTINY DIXON, MISS HOWARDTV MARCH Howard welcomed Destiny Dixon, Miss HowardTV March, to the studio, and reported that she used to be a professional motorcycle stunt rider. Destiny said her modeling work was much safer than her old job: "I've broken my tailbone 3 times...my toes, my ankles. That's about it. It should've been worse. I've gotten lucky." Looking up from his notes, Howard laughed: "But she's afraid of black penis!" Destiny confessed that while she's afraid of black penises, she's very committed to her super-sized (and high-powered) Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator: "If I don't use the Hitachi, it's kinda hard [to orgasm]." She wasn't kidding--it took several minutes at the '100%'/max setting for the show's Sybian machine to do its job: "Oh man, I'm light-headed. That thing is so f’ing amazing 'cause you explode in this--that thing is too much." howardstern.com

Miss Howard TV - Danielle - Miss Howard TV February

Howard welcomed Danielle, Miss HowardTV for February, to the studio and quickly had a look at her many tattoos – and piercings, 19 in total. Danielle said her favorite was the piercing she had in her vagina: "My friend's a piercer so I blame it on him...it makes me look pretty." Danielle went on to tell Howard that she loved dirty talk in the bedroom: "Tell me what you want me to do to you. I want you to tell me."

Danielle also said she also didn't like foreplay: "I feel like that's a waste of my time...let's just get right to it." Howard laughed: "The thing you're looking for is some meat inside of you." Danielle nodded: "Oh yeah. Uh-huh."howardstern.com

N.Y. Gaints Girl - Miss Howard TV November ( Reby Sky )

MISS HOWARD TV NOVEMBER: REBY SKY welcomed Miss HowardTV December to the studio and introduced her as Reby (short for Rebecca) Sky. Artie was smitten: "That's the hottest chick we've ever had up here." Howard noted that Reby was a lesbian, but Reby took issue: "I wouldn't call myself lesbian but I'm definitely bisexual." Howard disagreed, citing her committed, two-year relationship with another model as proof: "That's pretty lesbo." After learning she'd once been dumped by a 49-year-old dude, Howard wondered: "Why wouldn't he commit to you? You must be nuts." Reby admitted she had a screw loose: "I'm really jealous. That must've played a part in it." Robin was surprised: "She seems so sweet and normal here but she must be hell on wheels the second she walks out that door." howardstern.com

Miss Howard TV - November 2009

INTRODUCING NOVEMBER’S MISS HOWARD TV PAULINA SHERWOOD, MISS HOWARDTV NOVEMBER Howard welcomed Paulina Sherwood, November’s Miss HowardTV, to the studio and asked if Tourettes Pete had asked her out in the hall. Paulina said Pete had: "You never know what might happen. Howard laughed: "That's sounds like a no." Robin agreed: "I think we do know what might happen." Howard then asked if she was part Mexican, and she shrugged: "No. Maybe I look Mexican because I'm tan." Paulina said she'd never had an orgasm, despite having sex with at least 5 different guys over the last three years: "I feel something but it's not what people say it is." Benjy also tried his hand at asking Paulina out, promising he'd be the one to finally bring her to climax – and she actually said yes. Despite handing her number over to Benjy, Paulina reserved some doubt about his tongue skills: "You know what? Every guy says that." [Greenroom photos by Doug Goodstein] A CREEPY SYBIAN RIDE Ronnie the Limo Driver came in to speed things up: "She must be dead inside. And the other thing is – when are you gonna take that sweatshirt off?" Howard directed Paulina to the Sybian, but she resisted: "I dunno. It's kinda creepy." Paulina's dad, John, came in to inspect the Sybian: "I'm alright with this. This is not a big deal." Howard then told John to leave: "She's never gonna have an orgasm when you're here." Paulina then jumped on the Sybian (which didn't do the trick) and was distressed by Gary's beekeeper mask ("That's creepy.") but when he took it off, she insisted he put it back on: "No-no, you're right. Keep it on!" howardstern.com

Miss Howard TV - Dominique Pictures

Miss Howard TV - Dominique MISS HOWARDTV OCTOBER Howard welcomed Dominique DiCaprio, Miss HowardTV October, to the studio and reported that her breasts were real. Dominique said she was a dance teacher who couldn't keep a man – even though she would greet her boyfriends naked when they got home from work: "[They] say, 'I've got to go to the gym.'" Artie thought there was only one true get-out-of-sex excuse: "I'm busy being gay." Dominique said she was into some really freaky sex, like “golden showers” (only in the shower though) and anal sex: "But only with a boyfriend...I have to make them do it sometimes." She's also in to girls (although, to date, she hasn’t gone past making out with them): "Girls that look like Kim Kardashian or something. Girls that look like me." Howard was impressed – he couldn't figure out why any guy would leave Dominique. Dominique couldn't either, saying she just wanted to be her guy's "personal sex kitten." THE CREW SEEKS THE TRUTH Mike Gange came in insisting Dominique's boobs were fake: "They're too big to be real and they didn’t bounce right." To vindicate herself, Dominique let Gange “test” her rack, and he laughed: "There's so an implant right here!" Ronnie the Limo Driver then came in to add his expert advice – and thought Gange was full of shit: "They're real. There's no bag there, Gange." Will then came in to offer his opinion: "I feel something in there. I'm not sure what it is." Scott DePace settled it though when his thorough examination revealed that one breast was larger than the other – therefore they must be real. Dominique told the crew she loved to be choked during sex: "To the point where I [once] almost blacked out. I think I turned purple." But even freakier was her desire to use a strap-on on a dude: "I actually wanna give it to a guy." Artie was not interested: "You're in the wrong room, sweetie." Howard was blown way: "You really are Miss HowardTV." Artie thought another “test” was in order: "Some of those guys in the back don't think you're vagina's real." Pics from howard stern.com

Miss Howard TV

MISS HOWARDTV IS A "MASSEUSE GIRL" The latest Miss HowardTV, Becky Wunder, stopped by and told the crew she worked as a "masseuse girl" at Rick's Caberet, meaning she does not disrobe - she wears a minidress and rubs you down (but not down there). Artie took one look at her ass and became despondent: "I gotta get outta here." Howard laughed that HowardTV's Mike Gange was so in love with Becky, he'd been hanging around her more than necessary. Ronnie came in to report that Gange had also arranged a video shoot with Becky at Rick's last Friday - and then bought her dinner. Gange came in to say he was just doing his job, but Howard was doubtful, saying Gange should just ask her out directly: "I mean, [otherwise] he becomes a friend. Right, Becky?" THIS IS HOW IT'S DONE, ROBIN After hearing the new Black Eyed Peas single, Howard invited Becky back to the studio to show Robin how the strippers dance at Rick's

Miss HowardTV of the Year for 2008

Howard welcomed Brenda Acevedo, Miss HowardTV of the Year for 2008, to the studio and congratulated her on the new title. Brenda nervously stuttered a response, and Howard thanked her for the ego boost: "In high school I would've cut my nuts off for you." Brenda showed the crew the diamond necklace she won as part of the prize, and Artie complimented where it fell: "It hangs right in the middle of your big, pendulous breasts." Brenda asked Robin how she felt about her breast-reduction surgery, so Robin told her to be careful: "I've seen some breast-reduction jobs that are just heinous." Brenda said she was still considering it: "When you come out and you're all natural, some things just aren't where you expect them to be." Brenda also said she was huge Artie fan - but had a serious boyfriend, a professional poker player.Despite this cockblock, Brenda asked if Artie would like to feel her breasts (with her boyfriend’s permission of course). Never being one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Artie jumped up and gave them a squeeze. Brenda was thrilled: "It's Artie! I don't think I'll realize it until I watch it back and think, 'What the hell did I do?'" Howard asked if Artie used the right amount of pressure, but she wanted more: "He was too soft." CHRISTIE KANE MASTURBATES A LOT Howard then welcomed Christie Kane, Miss HowardTV for April, who spoke with a strange affect. Howard asked if she was hard of hearing, but she denied it: "No, I'm just from Brooklyn." Howard then ran Christie through her sexual history, including the time she and a friend took turns tying each other up and performing oral sex. Christie laughed that she even hooked up with a drunken Hasidic man at a recent party: "I'm just a very sexual person." Christie claimed she masturbates ten times a day and was once caught mid-diddle in a tanning booth. Emboldened, Howard wondered if the crew could take a look at her boobs, so she whipped 'em out. Robin asked if it was a good view, and Howard answered quickly: "Yes, it's good! They're two boobs!" Christie then jumped on the Sybian and went for a ride: "It vibrates a lot." After a scream-heavy ride, Christie had trouble standing: "That was so f’ing hot...I wanna take it home." howardstern.com

Janessa Brazil Is the new March Miss Howard TV

Month: March 2009 Age: 24 Height: 5'8" Weight: 120 Measurements: 34D-24-35 Sign: Aquarius Janessa Brazil, next month's Miss HowardTV, stopped by to say hello, and Howard told her she was even more attractive in person than on her X-rated website. Howard remarked that there wasn't an ounce of fat on Janessa, and Artie marveled at her amazing skin: "Alright. I gotta get outta here...look at her ass. I mean, that is f’ing flawless." Janessa then told the crew she'd only had sex with one man, but many women: "I like my women." ASS AND PANTY-STUFFING Janessa said she made money by starring in personalized videos in which she masturbates on a webcam for her customers. Janessa claimed she even did fetish videos that feature acts like "panty-stuffing," which involved shoving panties inside herself ("All the way. You can't even see the panties."), masturbating and pulling the soaked panties back out. She also does foot fetish videos: "Sometimes they just like to see the bottoms of your feet crinkle." Howard asked if Janessa had a limit, so she replied that she won't put a high heel in her vagina: "It's just dirty." Artie stepped his usual "hottest chick we've ever had up here" line up to another level: "She's my favorite person in the world." Janessa then noted that she'd just started stretching her anus with her fingers: "The furthest I'll [currently] go is two fingers." WAS IT AS GOOD FOR YOU TOO? It took no effort to get Janessa to strip down and jump on the Sybian. Gary donned a welder's mask (so that no one would be distracted by his lips/teeth/face during Janessa's ride) and took the controls. Janessa seemed to enjoy the ride: "I'm coming! Oh f’!" Howard commended her style: "I notice you grabbed your breasts a lot during that." Janessa loved it: "That was the best orgasm ever...that was the real deal. I'm shaking." howarstern.com

Miss Howard TV - Megan ( November )

Hey Now !?

Miss Howard TV - Shawn Carla