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Monday, September 27, 2010



Gary reported that Sal may have masturbated to Robin's bras last week--he was locked in the staff bathroom with them for a while last Wednesday: "Robin's bras were hanging in the bathroom...and he was in there for 15 minutes."

Sal denied all charges: "That's crazy. No. I even told Ronnie. I have stomach problems. I took a shit...the way they [the bras] dangle, they don't look good." Robin was relieved: "I'm glad he doesn't want to jerk off to them."


Howard revealed that today's show had actually been cancelled over the weekend due to the discovery of bedbugs in the Sirius XM offices. However, the company acted fast: "We received treatments here and supposedly we're 100% bedbug-free. The only place in New York City that probably is 100% bedbug-free." Howard regretted the veracity of the treatment--a doubt he knew might be irrational: "You know how paranoid I am about bedbugs."

Howard blamed anti-DDT environmentalists for the bedbug epidemic, saying the insects weren't a problem when DDT was still widely-used: "Now they're back! Because of hippies with their goddamn DDT-inhibition!" Howard began suffering a psychosomatic itch: "All I know is I'm scratching every minute...I just wish our contract was done and we could get out of here." As a result, Howard shortened the day's show: "My new routine is: as soon as the show's over, I get out of here."

As per Beth's suggestion, Ronnie had a bedbug-detecting beagle check Howard's limo and reported the bad news late in the show: "You can't go in your limo. The dog was just in there. He--two spots he picked--she picked, I should say." Ronnie signaled something else as well, leading Howard to complain: "You realize Ronnie also has to talk to me off the air? He has to tell me something even worse!" Howard later demanded Sirius XM provide him with a mask, helmet and full-body haz-mat suit: "I want it to cover my shoes all the way up to my neck." HOWARDSTERN.COM

Bed Bugs invade the howard stern studio at the sirius building ?

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New York City's bed bug investation appears to have affected the Sirius XM Radio Inc. headquarters, according to employees at the company.

A sign (pictured above) posted by Opie on Twitter sparked speculation about the shock jocks contract negotiations, but from what we hear - it's about the bugs.

New York City has been dealing with a bed bugs problem, and recently everyone from President Bill Clinton to the New York Public Library has been dealing with the critters.

Friday, September 24, 2010

LITTLE LUPE RETURNS Lupe Fuentes Super Pooosey movie video has her own website

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fleLITTLE LUPE RETURNS LITTLE LUPE IS TIGHTER THAN EVER Little Lupe stopped by and immediately started eyeing Robin--when Howard asked if she had a crush, Lupe was confused: "What is crush?" Howard explained and Lupe nodded: "I like her. She is hot." Howard noted that Lupe was originally invited back to the show so Sybian inventor Dave Lambert could administer one of his creepily-guided Sybian rides, but Dave (an 80-plus-year-old man) broke his hip after falling from a horse. Lupe was unsympathetic: "He is scared of me. He doesn't have can he fall from a hooker?" Howard laughed: "Not a hooker--a horse!" Howard thought Lupe's body was looking "tighter than ever," so she credited her hour-a-day running regimen, adding that she's often chased by on-lookers: "They chase me! Yes. They try to--yeah. I say, 'No. I'm running.'" Lupe said she was once running with a friend and pulled ahead: "Some Mexican guys from the park? They thought he was chasing me...and then we just f’ed." Lupe said f’ing outdoors was fun but uncomfortable: "When you lay down in the grass, everything start itching." LUPE BANGS A FATTY Lupe said she recently began hooking up with a fat girl--which is not usually her preference: "I never go for personality." Both Lupe and her fiancé, Biohazard frontman-turned-porn star Evan Seinfeld, hooked up with the girl: "We f’ed her. We f’ the shit out of her." Lupe admitted she didn't understand why she was attracted: "Like, so fat...I liked it. I don't understand myself. I am completely shocked. And the worst part is I keep doing it. I can't get enough of the fat one!" ON GYPSIES, BOOKS & THE TICKLE CHAIR Howard asked if Lupe had ever banged a black guy, and she said she had not but was willing to--she'll bang any hot guy who's not a gypsy: "I don't like gypsies. Gypsies are like the worst." Howard then asked Lupe to sit in The Tickle Chair, and while she was resistant at first ("No! I gonna pee on myself! This is not sexy."), she eventually let Gary strap her in: "He tickle so bad!" Gary laughed that Lupe was so small, the restraints wouldn’t keep her hands locked down. Asked if she ever read, Lupe shrugged: "Books? Listen, nobody read books anymore. Books are boring...I don't understand people that read." Howard played along, saying "Books are for fat guys." Lupe agreed: "Ugly people." Lupe said she other interests, like Manga comics and dancing: "I am really good dancer. I dance all over the country." EVAN SEINFELD MOVES ON Evan Seinfeld then came in to say life was much better with Lupe than his ex, porn star Tera Patrick: "She became very asexual." Evan said he'd anticipated a swinging sex life when he married Tera: "That's what I thought the deal was. But she was really trying to just get me alone so she could complain to me." Evan didn't miss her at all: "There was a lot of drama.

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 That girl is a handful." EVAN AND LUPE TO MARRY SOON Evan and Lupe then announced they were planning to marry within the next couple of months. Lupe planned to wear white: "I was thinking to make it bikini wedding!" Howard asked Lupe if she planned to convert to Judaism, but Lupe misunderstood: "Jewish make good husband." Evan credited Lupe with his renewed health and happiness: "[She's] why I look younger and feel great." Lupe nodded: "Because he has young pussy. It's true." Lupe detailed why she'd make a great wife: "I bring home girls. I cook. I take care of my dogs. I look hot and I work out. I don't complain." Evan said Lupe's 4'9" 78lb-frame kept things interesting, showing the crew a "piggyfront," a means of carrying her "on the street." Howard was disturbed: "You hold her like a baby!" Evan shrugged: "Yeah but I'm caressing her buttcheeks."

Monday, September 20, 2010



Leslie Marie Santa, Miss HowardTV for the month of October, stopped by and showed off her 5'4", 98lb frame: "I kind of stopped growing in 8th grade." Howard laughed: "You're like a little kid--almost. With big giant jugs."

Leslie said she liked to put said jugs to good use ("I cook topless a lot.") and was always ready to go: "If I'm not in the mood, I'm not going to shut it down. I'll still do things for him...I just like to please my man."


Leslie revealed that she passed out whenever she saw a midget: "That's been happening to me since I was little and I don't really know's not like I'm trying to be an asshole. I don't know why." Howard thought Leslie posed a danger to others ("Can you drive a car? What if you see a midget while you're driving?") and got Eric the Midget on the line to ask what he thought. Eric was annoyed: "Why do you have to put me on now?"

While Eric was on the line, Leslie looked around fearfully: "He better not be here...I don't want to see him walking around like that little Oompa Loompa walk." Howard thought Leslie needed to confront her fear like G. Gordon Liddy, who overcame his mortal fear of rats by eating one: "You have to eat a midget." Both Leslie and Eric refused. Fred laughed that Leslie was almost too good to be true: "Everything sounds perfect. She must have a cock."

Lisa G reported that Gary had been booked to appear on Letterman to promote 'They Call Me Baba Booey.' Gary was very excited about the news: "It's a big booking, man. It's huge." Howard wondered how Letterman would introduce Gary: "Ladies and gentleman, here's a guy nobody cares about. He's written a book about himself." Gary laughed: "I spent the whole weekend thinking about what he's going to talk to me about, and I couldn't come up with anything."

After riffing on the bomb-potential of the segment for a while, Howard changed his mind, saying he thought Gary's segment might go well: "One thing Gary's not short on is words." But Howard and Fred still doubted whether Gary's book was any good. Gary bristled: "Was every single page in your book gold, Howard?" Howard admitted Gary had a point--an irrelevant one: "But I'm Howard."

Sunday, September 19, 2010

JOSH’S BOUNCING OBSESSION and Benjy Late for the last time ? Is Howard a push over ?



Howard welcomed Josh, the proprietor of, to the studio and started quizzing him on his customer service day job until Robin stopped him and asked what Josh was on. Josh confessed: "I'm on a bottle of Goldschlager right now. Not a huge bottle. A little bottle." Josh slurred on, detailing a personal interest in his website's subjects: "I have a huge fetish for bouncing boob entertainment.

Josh said he'd had a bouncing-boob fetish since high school, but only recently made good on his interests and "semi-attractive" looks: "One or two of the [] ladies have definitely shown some interest in me." Josh cited one of the show's own as his most coveted prize: "Robin is a beautiful Josh Girl. There's no question."


Josh then introduced Howard to 3 of his 'Josh Girls.' The first girl Howard met was Anastasia, who told him her family knew about her (softcore) porn career: "My parents are totally supportive. Yes. They're fine with it." The second, Sabina Leigh, said her 34H breasts had bounced around so severely during her Josh Girls shoot that she'd popped blood vessels: "I've been in the porn industry for 8 years...I'm also a writer and I work--I live in Colorado so I work in medical marijuana. I grow it."

The third Josh Girl was fetish porn star Scarlett Rouge, who said she'd yet to have anal sex on camera: "Unfortunately not yet." Scarlett noted that she had filmed an 'erotic food scene' with fast food: "I had sex with a guy and was eating a cheeseburger and fries during it." Scarlett then did some Josh Girls-style topless jumps for Howard, who laughed: "Oh god! Look at those things!" Scarlett said she'd bounced for Josh's website for over 6 hours: "I had a great time."



Howard started off the show announcing that Benjy was late once again: "We have an empty seat this morning which means I have to fire Benjy." Howard couldn't figure out what went wrong ("He was doing so well.") and regretted his position: "I'm like 'Dad' around here. I hate that aspect of this job, that I'm 'Dad' and everyone has to answer to me." Robin thought Howard should punish--but not fire--Benjy: "Maybe put him out of the studio and off the Wrap-Up Show." Howard agreed, saying he'd pull all of Benjy's privileges: "everything short of firing him."


When Benjy finally arrived, Howard lay into him: "You put me in that position again. You did it to me." Benjy could only muster a sad excuse: "I hit snooze." Unmoved, Howard kicked him out: "Go write in the other room. And you're off the Wrap-Up Show for the remainder of the time we're here."

Howard couldn't figure out why Benjy was so disrespectful: "I gave the guy a break and he's breaking my balls." Benjy asked to stay in the studio and instead pay a "financial fine" each time he was late, but Howard refused: "I'll come up with some master calculation? A financial fine? You don't have a pot to piss in."


Howard turned to JD, thanking him for being nothing like Benjy: "You break my work hard and you don't ask for anything." As he did before with Ronnie's car show, Howard asked JD to decide Benjy's fate. JD was honest: "I would put him out in the back office. [But] if I were you for real--for real? I would fire him."

Howard also asked Evan, the show's hardest-working engineer, and Evan agreed with JD: "It's the same thing as stealing money, man. It really is."


Howard later extended Benjy's punishment with a no-tolerance policy: "If you are late, just don't show up. Never show up again...agreed?" Howard told Ronnie he was serious—the next time Benjy is late, "don't allow him into my studio. Don't allow him into work." After word came from the back that Benjy was complaining about his new workspace, Robin was indifferent: "The optimum work conditions were in here--where he should have been at 6 in the morning."

Monday, September 13, 2010

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Saturday, September 11, 2010




Howard welcomed Oksana Kehoe, a Russian matchmaker/"translation interpreter," to the studio and asked if she was successful finding her own matches. Oksana said she dated a younger man--much younger: "He's a student." Howard asked if Oksana considered herself a cougar, and she shrugged: "I think so." Oksana said she charged American men 80 bucks a week to match them with young Russian women--the fee even covers a translator if the girl doesn't speak English: "Over 25, we feel like we're old...Russian girls, they're looking for [a] soul-partner."

Howard thanked Oksana for bringing Maryia and Julia for today's Russian Speed-Dating Game and began planning the day's event--an experiment designed to test the staff's ability to woo women with a 'level playing field.' To this end, Gary was assigned the role of 'Howard Stern' and the task of introducing Howard as 'Scott D' to the "fresh off the boat" Russian girls. 'Scott D' and the rest of the staff will then participate in 90 second speed-dates with each girl--at the end of each round, the girls must pick the man they'd most like to see again.


Gary-as-'Howard Stern' then introduced the first girl, Maryia, who said she hadn't been in the US very long: "I'm here for two month." To make ends meet, she's been working as a hostess in a Manhattan restaurant: "I like it so much. It's really interesting."

Benjy, her first speed-date, spoke to her in a really low--almost inaudible--tone: "You know why you're here today?" Toward the end of his 90 seconds, Benjy tried out some Russian phrases he had written down, but Maryia seemed confused: "That's Russian?"

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A suit-clad Scott 'The Engineer' was the second speed-dater: "Good morning. How ya doin? So, uh, what brings you here today?" Scott's game was lacking: "Have you seen the sights around our great city?" And his questions focused on alcohol and clubbing: "You like to drink? Dance? I love vodka. It's really great. It goes down really smooth."

Hilariously, Scott tried to paint his interests in a 'good-time' light: "Music. I like to dance. I like to party. Have a good time. That's what it's all about. Enjoy[ing] life."


JD was Maryia's third date: "How long have you been in the United States? How do you like it so far? You like it?" JD continued to repeat himself ("What do you look for in a guy? What do you like in a guy?"), but Maryia played along, saying she liked to be treated with respect. JD misunderstood: "Affectionate or whatever? You want gifts?" Maryia laughed: "Yes. Like every girl."


Maryia's fourth date, Howard-as-'Scott D’ kept it casual: "Good to see you. Your name is Maryia? When did you come to America?" 'Scott D' commended Maryia on her initiative: "I would think it would be really overwhelming to come to America and not be able to speak the came right over and found a job. I think that's amazing...I could never go to Russia and all of a sudden get a job and start a whole new life." Before his time was up, 'Scott D' was sure to leave things open romantically: "By the way, I think you're beautiful."


Ronnie the Limo Driver was Maryia's final speed-date. Ronnie's game was aggressive--he moved his chair closer to Maryia and grabbed her hand: "You're very pretty. How long you been in the United States?" But his game had little substance: "What do you like to do? You like to hang out?" As time was running out, Ronnie asked some loaded questions: "You mind going out with older guys? You like fast cars?"


Asked who she'd most like to see again, Maryia chose Benjy: "He was so nice. So smiley and attractive." Her second choice was Howard: "Scott D. He's extraordinary." 3rd place was a surprise: "Maybe Scott [Salem]." 4th went to JD and last place to Ronnie. Howard was furious: "I don't even want to play in the next round. I lost to Benjy!"


Gary-as-'Howard Stern' then began introducing Julia, another "fresh off the boat" Russian girl, to her suitors--starting with Sal: "I baked you a cupcake because I wanted to give you a sweet little treat." Julia wasn't impressed: "It looks kind of old." Sal replied: "I got this at a bakery, actually. You ever been to Bukkake Bakery? It's a great bakery. You'd love bukkake."

Julia was equally combative with Howard-as-'Scott D' when he presented her with a single rose: "Just one flower?" Undaunted, 'Scott D' pulled out all the stops, first telling Julia that the other 'bachelors' smelled ("The other two guys waiting to meet you? They smell funny.") and then asking if her current boyfriend treated her well.


Julia asked Will, her third speed-date, about his un-businesslike beard, so Will shrugged: "I'm a weird mix. I'm not really a businessman." Will made up ground asking after Julia's job as a baseball scout in the Dominican Republic but didn't give any compliments until after his time was up: "You're the whole package." Gary-as-'Howard Stern' called foul: "No hitting after the bell!"

Julia was equally unimpressed with Jared, the final speed-dater: "He try to be sexy, huh?" Jared's game was tight, however--he quickly got her talking about her work in Santo Domingo and scuba diving. By the end of the date, he seemed to have changed her mind--she addressed him differently than the others: "It was nice to meet you."


Asked who she'd most like to see again, Julia waffled, eventually sizing herself up with 'Scott D': "I like tall guys." Second place went to Sal, third to Jared and fourth to Will. Howard was elated: "I am so happy. I want to thank this gorgeous woman." Julia said it was all in the eye contact: "I can see really who likes to go out with me."

1972 High School Yearbook Featuring Howard Stern's Graduation Picture
Howard praised the test's results: "Robin, I feel beautiful." Jared said Howard and Sal's gifts had tipped the balance: "She wants stuff! She wants to be showered with gifts." Howard bristled: "Don't talk about her like that!" Will agreed with Jared ("This is bullshit!") but Howard thought Will's problem was clear: "You have a horrible personality.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Howard Stern...Jerry Seinfeld interview....

Will Howard Stern sign a new contract with Sirius XM Radio ?

Shock jock Howard Stern brought more than just his oversized personality to satellite radio when he joined Sirius — he also carted along an estimated 1.2 million new subscribers.

Now, five years later, Stern’s $500 million contract with Sirius XM Radio Inc. is nearly up, giving rise to concerns about how well the company would fare without one of its biggest stars. At the moment, its stock is trading around $1 a share and is down 5 percent in the last month, underperforming the Standard & Poor’s 500 stock index.

“There’s a negotiation going on and everyone’s assuming the worst,” said Maxim Group analyst John Tinker, who says uncertainty about Stern has weighed on Sirius XM’s stock.

Still, others point out that over a six-month stretch, the shares are up 11 percent and say worries are overblown that a boatload of Sirius XM’s 19.6 million subscribers would be lost should Stern depart after his contract expires in December.

With or without Stern, they say Sirius XM’s concentration on car radios and partnerships with auto manufacturers will keep its subscriber base growing for years. Last quarter alone it added 583,000 subscribers.

“The company’s in a pretty good position and their operations would be fine and continue even if they lost subscribers because of Stern,” said BGB Securities analyst Murray Arenson.

Another analyst, James Goss from Barrington Research, says that the listeners who followed Stern to Sirius XM may not be ready to leave with him.

“People who took the product then might have found other things they liked about satellite radio, and at this stage, they wouldn’t necessarily leave,” Goss said.

Satellite radio does not have a formal ratings system in place, since it does not rely on advertisements for its profit, so audience numbers are not available for Stern’s show.

Sirius XM did not returns calls seeking comment for this story.


One possible scenario, analysts said, is Sirius XM and Stern could reach a new contract that called for fewer shows and less money. Under his current contract, Stern produces a show four days a week, as well as other content for the channels Howard 100 and 101.

On air, Stern often talks about wanting to sleep in, work less and spend more time with his second wife, a former model whom he married in 2008.

Besides Stern, Sirius XM has a number of high-profile contracts, including a $600 million deal with Major League Baseball, a $55 million contract with Oprah Winfrey and a $30 million deal with Martha Stewart.

Lately, however, the company has focused on cutting its programming costs. Aiding that effort has been the 2008 deal that merged Sirius with rival XM radio — an arrangement that put an end to bidding wars between the two for talent.

Sirius XM has also gained a key foothold in the auto market. The company said in last quarter’s conference call that about 60 percent of newly manufactured cars now come equipped with a satellite radio.

Even if car sales have been depressed, “six million plus cars a year are still rolling off the assembly line with satellite radios in them,” said Barton Crockett, an analyst at Lazard Capital Markets. He added that the radios could be in 70 million cars by 2015.

Sirius XM has also shown it can get customers to commit to its service after starter promotions end. It has a 46 percent conversion rate, which Barrington Research’s Goss called “very impressive,” and was fueling the company’s momentum.

As for Stern, he has hinted that he may be willing to walk away from Sirius XM, even if traditional radio, which has seen serious revenue declines in the past few years, probably cannot afford to hire him.

On his Aug. 16 show, Stern said, “I do get a little charge out of thinking that in December we might be done. I get a little turned on by that,” according to an audio clip posted on a fan web site.

But such remarks about his uncertain future could be one of Stern’s tactics in his talks with Sirius XM. Stern joined Sirius in 2006 prior to the merger.

“From a negotiating perspective, he wants Sirius to think that he’s thinking of leaving so they’ll bid more,” Gabelli & Co analyst Brett Harriss said.

Tinker, from the Maxim Group, said Stern’s loud chatter over the contract should come as no surprise to longtime fans.

“This has always been a part of Howard Stern’s act — the drama around what’s Howard going to do next?”

The answer to that could come shortly. Sirius XM Chief Executive Mel Karmazin signed off a conference call in August by saying he would have news about Stern in time for next quarter’s results.

Crockett, of Lazard, said he was heartened by the comments. “It suggested to me that [Karmazin] will have a renewal with Stern that investors are comfortable with,” he said

Sunday, September 5, 2010

See howard sterns Iron Man helmet: Buy Iron man helmet here

Howard said he'd been so proud of the Iron Man helmet Jon Favreau sent him the other day that he'd texted Ralph a photo of his new office display--only to have Ralph text a photo of his own Iron Man helmet: "Ralph's got the same goddamn Iron Man head...I am so disgusted. I am taking the Iron Man head and throwing it out the window." Howard fumed: "Why does Favreau do this to me? Am I a bad person?"

Ralph called in to one-up Howard again: "Actually, is yours made of metal? Mine is." Howard was pissed as the mask was plastic: "No!" Howard complained that he'd even thanked Jon with a long note and a photo of his bookshelf display--even carefully selecting the books visible in the photo: "There's a Thesaurus and a dictionary and quotes from the Bible." Howard said he'd soured on Iron Man memorabilia: "Favreau, stop sending me things. It's not working out."   howard

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Greg Fitzsimmons called in to say Howard had no right to complain about writing a foreword for his book: "You put yourself on the hook. I sent you a note with an option. There wasn't an f’ing gun to your head." Howard apologized for his spinelessness: "I didn't want to disappoint you. You're a friend. You're a nice guy." Howard said 'a real man' would've called Greg off the air and declined: "I'm the opposite of that. I'm very childish. I tantrum."

They Call Me Baba Booey
Even though he'd apologized for his rants, Howard insisted he'd actually done Greg a favor: "No one gave a shit about your book. But now they do because I've been carrying on about it." Greg shrugged: "I never once said, 'Hey, where's the [foreword]'...don't write the thing. I don't want you to." Greg then floated the idea of just printing Howard's rants as the foreword--and Howard jumped at the idea, telling the staff to send Greg transcripts: "Consider it done." Greg thought it'd be perfect: "Me being shit on is exactly what the book is about."
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