JD'S LIST OF THE TOP 5 HOTTEST #FOXNEWS PERSONALITIES* #pictures #howarstern

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JD'S LIST OF THE TOP 5 HOTTEST FOX NEWS PERSONALITIES* See Pictures

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Every news channel or news team these days seems to have hot female reporters and anchors. The one news station that I believe started this trend was the FOX News Channel. And even though I don’t agree with a lot of the opinions expressed on FOX News, I DO agree with their hiring practices. So now, here are my top 5 picks for Hottest FOX News personality:

#5 - Dana Perino

        

 

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Former White House Press Secretary turned FOX News Hottie. She is one of the current co-hosts of “The Five” and unfortunately, they put her in the middle so her legs are hidden. But she’s beautiful. She’s even grown her hair out longer and it looks great. I was lucky enough to see her at Chipotle once and man, did she look great.

#4 - Heather Nauert

 

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Another blonde beauty. In between Obama bashing interviews, she gives the news updates on “FOX and Friends”. They make her stand up so you can see every inch of her hotness.

 

 

#3 - Maria Molina

 

 

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If you’re having a Hurricane barreling toward your home, you’ll feel a little bit better hearing the news from this hot “FOX and Friends” meteorologists who wears some of the tightest tops I’ve seen.

 

 

#2 - Julie Banderas

 

 

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The hottest brunette on the network. She seems to have a case of “resting bitch face” but that just adds to her hotness. Beautiful woman. I also saw her at Chipotle once.

 

 

#1 - Anna Kooiman

 

 

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By far, the hottest chick EVER on FOX News. Blonde. Beautiful. Into Fitness. God bless Anna Kooiman.

@jdharm I'll be live tweeting the Oscars and Oscars Red Carpet for the @sternshow account. Come along on the journey with me !

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@jdharm I'll be live tweeting the Oscars and Oscars Red Carpet for the @sternshow account. Come along on the journey with me !

Check out Stern Show Fantasy Football Draft

Stern Show Fantasy Football Draft

Stern Show Fantasy Football Draft

by Jason Kaplan

Former league winners JD, Jon Hein and Jason Kaplan with Matthew Berry from ESPN in front of the draft board. If you ever wondered what fantasy football players look like, this is it
Ah, the fantasy draft. For the 6th year in a row fat slobs like me (Jason Kaplan) and JD Harmeyer can vie for a championship in a sports related game that doesn't require us to do anything more physical than flipping on the NFL Red Zone channel.
It's Fantasy Football and this is my seventh year in a row doing it. Fantasy football itself is fun, but it's at its most fun when you are doing with your friends and the ball busting and competition lasts all season long.
Every year the guys in our league gather together in a conference room at Sirius, eat some bad food, make some bad picks, and wish JD good luck on not finishing last this season (he's finished last two years in a row. That's almost as hard as winning two years in a row)
So without further ado, here's an inside look at the coolest guys to play a game based on a game - the Stern Show Fantasy Draft 2012
Stern Show Draft 2012
A good draft starts with 3 things - a good commissioner to organize everything (thank's Will!), a professional draft board (thanks David Heydt!) and of course, junk food. That's where everyone can thank me, Jason, for bringing the best (and classiest) food around - a White Castle Crave Case

It's a suitcase full of cheeseburgers! It's like going to a business meeting for nonsense
Not to be out done, three-time defending league champion (and Type 1 Diabetic) Jon Hein brought a giant Hershey Bar

Jon Hein, the face of Diabetes
Another key to a great draft is prep and wow, does everyone go into over drive with their draft prep. I've personally come a long way, check out my professional set up:

Yes, those are my own, color-coded rankings on the far left thank you
At the Champions Table, JD and Jon Hein have their research ready:

Scott Salem is always the biggest slob when it comes to his papers. I would have taken a picture of it but I was too busy guarding my notes from being encroached by whatever he had going on.
Two notes on Scott: He knows what he's doing when it comes to the draft but he seems always be using statistics from 2 years ago. Also, he takes forever to pick and drives Will Murray nuts.

An action shot of Will and David Heydt drafting. Notice the White Castle in the foreground. You're welcome everyone
Matthew Berry is better known as the Talented Mr. Roto from ESPN. He's their Fantasy expert and has been doing drafts like this since before there were computers. He's replaced the horrible Jerry O'Connell* as our resident league celebrity and this is the 2nd year he's doing it.

Jason with his fantasy mentor Matthew Berry
I had no idea what I was doing when it came to Fantasy Football until I started reading Matthew's columns on ESPN and listening to his podcast. He's very funny and a great communicator and really helped me wrap my head around how to be successful at fantasy.
Which is why it was both a thrill and a honor to sit next to him in this draft and use his own rankings against him. It was with glee that I picked his sleepers, avoided his busts, and pretty much drafted the team that he would have tried to draft.
Berry is only now awakening to what a douche bag I am
This draft was surpringly controversy free. The only hint of a fight came when Will Murray drafted a running back that Jon Hein really wanted (and needed) and Will seemingly did it just to piss Jon off. So kudos to will on that. It's also a great time to mention that Mr. Sports Will Murray has never, ever won our league

Sports expert Will Murray excited to show off his Chad Pennington autograph in 2004
1 last note: I ate 10 White Castle Cheeseburgers
Here's our full draft board with a full list of everyone's team below, if you want to keep score at home. It's my opinion that JD had the weakest draft (on paper) but what do I know, that kid finds a way to finish in last place almost every year

*Jerry O'Connell, while a very nice man, husband and father, is a horrible person to have your fantasy league. He never makes moves or trades and usually held up our entire waiver wire process. The last year he was in our league, he drafted only Giants and Cowboys, his two favorite teams, which should tell you everything you need to know about Jerry O the football fan
Jon Hein, 1st pick, 3 time league champion
Rd 1 Arian Foster Rd 2 Jamaal Charles Rd 3 Roddy White Rd 4 Greg Jennings Rd 5 Antonio Brown Rd 6 Jermichael Finley Rd 7 Steve Johnson Rd 8 Matt Schaub Rd 9 Isaac Redman Rd 10 Kevin Smith DEF: Chicago (Rd 14 of 18) K: David Akers
Will Murray, 2nd pick, has never ever won the championship. Not even once. Not even close
Rd 1 Ray Rice Rd 2 Cam Newton Rd 3 AJ Green Rd 4 Steve Smiths (Panthers) Rd 5 Willis McGahee Rd 6 Dwayne Bowe Rd 7 Ryan Williams Rd 8 Ben Tate Rd 9 Vernon Davis Rd 10 Greg Little DEF: Philadelphia K: Jason Hanson
Gary Dell'Abate, 3rd pick, Jets Fan
Rd 1 LeSean McCoy Rd 2 Steven Jackson Rd 3 Larry Fitzgerald Rd 4 Ahmad Bradshaw Rd 5 Dez Bryant Rd 6 Eli Manning Rd 7 BenJarvis Green Ellis Rd 8 Santonio Holmes Rd 9 Fred Davis Rd 10 Jacquizz Rodgers DEF: NY Jets K: Mason Crosby
Jason Kaplan, 4th pick, 1 time league champ. Yeah, that's right, suck it
Rd 1 Aaron Rodgers Rd 2 Julie Jones Rd 3 Fred Jackson Rd 4 Brandon Lloyd Rd 5 Jordy Nelson Rd 6 Torrey Smith Rd 7 Donald Brown Rd 8 David Wilson Rd 9 CJ Spiller Rd 10 Mark Ingram DEF: NY Giants K: Alex Henry
Matthew Berry, 5th pick, Fantasy Expert
Rd 1 Tom Brady Rd 2 Matt Forte Rd 3 MJD Rd 4 Hakeem Nicks Rd 5 Percy Harvin Rd 6 Aaron Hernandez Rd 7 Cedric Benson Rd 8 Rashaad Jennings Rd 9 Denarious Moore Rd 10 Kendall Wright DEF: Seattle K: Dan Bailey
Steve Brandano, 6th picked, drafted over the phone, took abuse from Berry
Rd 1 Drew Brees Rd 2 Rob Gronkowski Rd 3 Michael Turner Rd 4 Darren Sproles Rd 5 Mike Wallace Rd 6 Eric Decker Rd 7 Miles Austin Rd 8 Vincent Jackson Rd 9 Michael Bush Rd 10 Daniel Thomas DEF: Buffalo K: Matt Prater
Scott Salem, 7th pick, Black Cloud
Rd 1 Calvin Johnson Rd 2 Matt Stafford Rd 3 Ryan Matthews Rd 4 Trent Richardson Rd 5 Jeremy Maclin Rd 6 Shonn Green Rd 7 Robert Meachem Rd 8 DeAngelo Williams Rd 9 Jermaine Gresham Rd 10 Lance Moore DEF: Detroit and Baltimore K: Janikowski
Ben Barto, 8th pick, Tapes Team Guru
Rd 1 Darren McFadden Rd 2 Adrian Peterson Rd 3 Wes Welker Rd 4 Brandon Marshall Rd 5 DeSean Jackson Rd 6 Frank Gore Rd 7 Michael Vick Rd 8 Reggie Wayne Rd 9 Michael Bush Rd 10 Beanie Wells DEF: Green Bay K: Gostkowski
David Heydt, 9th pick, known as "The Hate"
Rd 1 Jimmy Graham Rd 2 Marshan Lynch Rd 3 Doug Martin Rd 4 Victor Cruz Rd 5 Marques Colston Rd 6 Matt Ryan Rd 7 Peyton Hillis Rd 8 Pierre Gardon Rd 9 Anquan Boldin Rd 10 Robert Turbin DEF: San Francisco and Houston K: Garrett Hartley
JD Harmeyer, 1 time league champ, picking last and certainly least
Rd 1 Chris Johnson Rd 2 DeMarco Murray Rd 3 Andre Johnson Rd 4 Demaryius Thomas Rd 5 Tony Romo Rd 6 Justin Blackmon Rd 7 Stevan Ridley Rd 8 Kenny Britt Rd 9 RG III Rd 10 Sidney Rice DEF: Pittsburgh and Cincinnati K: Rob Bironas

Howard Cleans up w/ Matt Paxton

MATT PAXTON CLEANS UP MATT PAXTON, “HOARDERS” CLEAN-UP GUY Hazardous waste removal expert Matt Paxton called in to promote the season finale of “Hoarders”: “I’m the guy who cleans up all the dead cats and poop.” How much poop? Up to 45,000 pounds in one house: “Usually it starts in the bathroom. The toilet gets full, then the bathtub gets full, then the hallway gets full, then the living room gets full...the plumbing has been gone for years by the time I get there.” Ronnie the Limo Driver said he’d dealt with Matt’s kind when cleaning out his late mother’s apartment: “You know those junk trucks that come? You hire them to come. Three trucks.” Ronnie said he also cleaned out his mom’s place when she was still alive, but she’d freaked when she got home. Matt replied that she was no exception--the cleaning process is hard on his clients: “It’s hell for them.” THERE’S MONEY UNDER THAT POOP Matt said he often finds money: he once found $13,000 in change in a woman’s Oakland apartment. It was all inside an 8-foot rat’s nest, apparently bills are the only paper rats won’t shred. Another time, he came across $45,000 in US Savings Bonds--bonds his client thought were trash: “She didn’t know what she had. We had to explain to her the difference between maturity and expiration...and this lady thought she had nothing.” WHY EX-CONS “GET” HOARDERS Matt said he staffed his business with former addicts, like himself, and parolees, as they seem to understand the clients: “You gotta have someone who’s been knocked down--who gets the mental state. And so, for me, I prefer ex-cons or recovering addicts.” The crew makes $15,000 a job and thoroughly enjoys their work: “We’re all recovering addicts, so we need something nasty to get us off...when you hit rock bottom yourself, you kind of have to laugh to get out of it.” Matt said he’s rarely contacted by the hoarders themselves (“Usually it’s someone who loves them.”), so he handles them with kid gloves: “They don’t want to be judged. They don’t want to be made fun of. And believe it or not, that stuff protects them.” They’ve often been sick for a long time: “You can’t be a good hoarder overnight. It takes 10, 15, 20 years.” THEY’LL CLEAN ANY THING BUT KIDDIE PORN Asked about his worst client, Matt said he’d once been called by the family of a hospitalized man and went out to clean his estate: “The deeper we got, we started finding some Polaroids, some really aggressive stuff, and it was all child pornography.” Matt turned him in and the guy, when he recovered, was was sent to jail. But when he was released, he just filled his house with junk again--and called Matt: “And we had just sent the guy to jail for 3 years! I told him to f’ off.” THE FANTOM STINKER STRIKES AGAIN ANOTHER BATHROOM-GATE Howard said someone had dropped a horrible smelling deuce in the staff bathroom after Wednesday’s show--and asked that it stop: “The little bathroom should just be for peeing and washing up. Not shitting. … The little bathroom that we built is right here in the hall.” Robin said she’d suffered firsthand: “I’ve run into a bomb in there.” Gary came in with the key-card logs: “It was either Jason or Scott the Engineer.” Gary read that he’d entered the bathroom at 11:32 and Benjy at 11:30: “I came in a minute and 40 seconds after Benjy.” Both caught the stench. Before Benjy, the only suspects were Jason 11:27 and Scott the Engineer at 11:19: “So that would’ve given him 8 minutes to shit. My bet would be him.” JASON OR SCOTT? YOU DECIDE Jason couldn’t remember if he was guilty--but doubted he could do the deed in less than 3 minutes: “I’ve shit in the bathroom before. I have zero idea. I shit in there all the time!” Scott also denied all charges: “I’m not gonna swear on my son’s life but I’ll swear on my life.” Howard reserved his doubts, so Scott promised to never be under suspicion again: “I will not shit, on a show day, in that bathroom.” THE CRAIGSLIST CONQUEROR CALLS IN AARON SMITH, CRAIGSLIST PLAYER Aaron Smith called in to promote his book, “The Secrets of the Craigslist Conqueror,” saying it detailed his success at picking up girls on Craigslist. Aaron explained that he had never really been a ladies man: “Never been called that in my life. I’m fat, I’m bald. I actually look like JD.” He had difficulty getting laid in college--and well after--until he began experimenting with Craigslist personal ads: “I found the wilder I went, the better I did.” Asked to explain, Aaron said he trolled the site with ads appealing to very specific scenarios: “One of them is called ‘You Dirty Worthless Whore.’ ... The key to everything I found was wrapping a woman in her fantasy from the very first word [and] talking to her directly, as if she’s right in front of me.” His formula has netted him 120 women in 18 months: “I was offering to be a dom for a woman who wanted to be a sub. I had ads--a lot of ads were for a lot of role-playing. Daddy for daughter, teacher for bad student...” THE RULES OF CRAIGSLIST SEX Aaron said it was important to calmly and firmly break with the fantasy if a girl needs reassurance. More so, it’s imperative that any pictures you send are recent and/or representative: “When she shows up at your door, you have to look like the guy in the picture.” And third: some ads aren’t too good to be true--the hottest girl he’d ever banged posted an ad titled College Girl Wants To Lose Her Anal Virginity: “How could I not respond to that? ... We had dorm sex. It was the best thing ever. She was, without question, a ten.” Howard wondered if JD could benefit from Aaron’s tutelage, so JD came in to insist he was a lost cause: “I’ve actually tried this before. Before I started working here.” Benjy said Aaron’s methods were solid--they’d worked for him: “You can get laid at any moment--any day--you want by a really hot chick...it’s all niche marketing.” JD didn’t care: “I just want to be left alone.” by howardstern.com

Project X Movie MARTY THE LITTLE PERSON KLEBBA help JD ?

MARTY THE LITTLE PERSON KLEBBA

THE RETURN OF MARTY THE...
Marty Klebba returned to catch up with Howard and promote his latest film, “Project X.” But first he explained that he had dropped his old moniker, Marty The Midget, because he felt, like Eric The Actor, that the M-word was the equivalent of the N-word. Marty denied--despite his role in three of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies--that he was now a millionaire: “I got paid, for each movie, a certain amount and then you get residuals...but then they start to fall off.” So he tries to make the most of each gig: “It’s always in my contract: I do all my own stunts...there isn’t another little guy built like me.” In “Project X,” said clause had him stuffed into an oven and driving a Mercedes into a pool: “It’s like the best high school party you’ve ever seen.”


MARTY’S LOVE MATCHES, TALL AND SMALL
Asked about his ex, Marty remembered the 3’6” woman fondly: “She was the most hottest little person I’d ever seen.” But sex with her, despite their proportional compatibility, was unusual: “It’s still weird when you’re with a little person. You know, usually, when a girls knees are at your shoulders, it’s her toes.” Now he’s got a normal-sized wife, 26 year old Michelle, who stands at 5’8”: “I could just watch her sleep, and [be] like, ‘How lucky am I?’”

Marty said he met Michelle through her college roommate, a little person, and would do anything to please her: “I’ll hang from my toes as long as I’m making her happy.” Howard looked at a picture of Michelle and marveled that, while beautiful, she didn’t seem much taller: “You can handle her, huh? How come she’s the same size as you?” Marty laughed: “She’s sitting down.”


CAN MARTY SAVE JD?
Since Marty’s been successful in life and love, Howard introduced him to JD and pressed for advice. Marty thought JD should start at the top: “Wash that hair...[and] dude, you gotta walk in with confidence.” JD said confidence was hard to build in this environment: “I don’t know, maybe because of shit like this? I get insulted every time I walk in--I walk in to a room.” As JD stormed out, Marty also pointed at his gut: “You’re not going to be here when you’re 40 if you keep eating like that.” Robin thought JD was a lost cause: “He seems to be upset about everything we say in this regard.”

by howardstern.com

Howard's Hottest Chick Oldest Fart Contest

HOTTEST CHICK - OLDEST FART CONTEST MEET THE HOTTEST CHICK, OLDEST FART CONTESTANTS Howard kicked off the Hottest Chick, Oldest Fart contest by welcoming Jimmy, 45, and his wife Erica, 26. Jimmy said he’d been married once before--and might not be able to give Erica children: “I had an accident on a motorcycle...not the penis. Just the vas deferens.” Howard laughed that he was jealous: “Wow. I should start riding a motorcycle.” Erica said Jimmy wasn’t her first sugar daddy: “I’ve always dated older guys [but] he’s actually the oldest.” Not that Jimmy seems to know it--he still bangs her 4 to 5 times a week. And that’s after almost 5 years of marriage. Ronnie the Limo Driver, in studio to judge the contest, thought Jimmy had done well for himself--when asked for Erica’s “definition”, he quipped: “Smokin’ hot.” HE’S ALMOST TWICE HER AGE--AND WEIGHT The next pair, Jim, 54, and Araceli, 37, shocked the crew, but not with their marked age difference. Jim said his massive belly was definitely an issue: “I lay on my back a lot.” But Araceli claimed that Jim’s size didn’t slow him down: “We do it like 3 times a week, but if he’s rested, we can do 3 a day.” Jim said he also keeps her happy in kitchen: “I know how to cook. First thing you got to do is feed ‘em. Then you f’ them.” HE RETIRED BEFORE SHE GRADUATED The final couple, Gary, 69, and Danielle, 26, had the biggest age difference by far. Danielle said Gary’s so old, she’s rarely accused of having daddy issues: “They think he’s my grandfather. He’s older than my dad.” Gary, an aging widower, met her at a golf course where they both worked: “He was just a nice guy and a gentleman and encouraged me to go back to school.” A nice guy and a gentleman, sure, but a nice guy and a gentleman with a keen eye: “I was a stripper for about two years and then I took some time off to get a boob job and then I was working at the golf club.” Gary said he rarely needed help to keep up with Danielle, but when he does, he just pops a pill: “Viagra is your friend.” Howard saw a clear victory: “It is so drastic. It’s not even a compliment. It’s crazy what’s going on.” GARY & DANIELLE: HOTTEST CHICK, OLDEST FART Howard ruled out Jimmy and Erica: “They don’t look like such a mismatch...Jimmy’s in pretty good shape, so he looks younger. They look plausible.” Robin agreed that only Jim and Araceli contended with Gary and Danielle: “Even though there’s just a 17-year difference, it looks greater.” So Howard crowned Gary and Danielle the victors: “Gary sounds like he’s half in the grave and he looks it.” Only Ronnie disagreed: “I’m going with number two. Gary looks too happy.”		JD TALKS PORN & ROBIN APOLOGIZES TO MEN ROBIN’S PROMISE TO MEN Robin then asked to have the floor: “I have something to report. I have something to say to all of you, as a matter of fact.” Howard laughed nervously: “Uh oh. It’s usually not good when you get that lecturing [tone].” Robin knew what he meant: “That is indicative of why I have something to say to you. You immediately think you’re in trouble.” To that end, Robin explained how she has taken a vow: “I took an oath this weekend that I would never emasculate any man ever again...I want you to keep me honest.” Robin said she’d spent the weekend in Boston at Allison Armstong’s “Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women” workshop: “What I learned this weekend was that I’ve been emasculating men--especially the men I love. All of you!--most of my life. Probably all of my life. [I’m] probably like the expert of emasculating men. And I want to apologize to all of you. I’m treating you as if you need to be controlled.” Howard hoped for the best: “I’m not getting involved in this latest thing because it will only backfire.” AN UPDATE FROM DABADASS Howard continued around, asking each of the crew for personal updates, eventually settling on JD. A caller asked if his video chat avatar was still “Dabadass”, but JD claimed he’d dropped it, revealing that his real nickname was even worse: “My nickname in high school was Cheesy.” Howard couldn’t believe it: “Looking at you, the last thing I would goof on was that you said something cheesy. I mean, there’s a million nicknames they could have given you. Cheesy? You got off easy.” JD tried to back out of the studio, but Howard pressed him for more. JD eventually buckled, confessing that he still pays girls to video chat with him--and suck on dildos--for $7 a minute. He cleans up with ill-fitting novelty t-shirts he pulls from the show’s “glom box.” ROGER WATERS DISCUSSES PINK FLOYD ROGER WATERS FROM THE BEGINNING Roger Waters stopped by to promote his current tour, a re-staging of Pink Floyd’s “The Wall,” and look back at his long career. Howard had him start at the very beginning, so Roger cited losing his father as young boy as a formative experience: “Very young children are even more narcissistic than you or I am [now]. Something bad happens, you go, ‘I must’ve done that.’” So it’s not by mistake that he sought out creative camaraderie--he doesn’t regret writing his biggest songs as a member of Pink Floyd: “Absolutely not. We were a cracking team when we were younger...from ‘68 to ‘Dark Side of the Moon,’ we were a tightly-knit group.” But after the release of “Dark Side of the Moon” in 1973, the band began to fall apart: “That was the first time we started making any cash.” WHEN WATERS MET GILMOUR Howard asked if Roger met David Gilmour in college, so Roger laughed: “Gilmour didn’t go to college! He was a van driver.” David had just been Roger’s roommate: “I started the band. If you can’t play [well], it’s the only way to do it.” The songwriting process was rarely collaborative--Roger brought “Money” to the band fully-written and ready to be recorded. But Roger cited “Wish You Were Here” as a collaborative effort, saying he wrote the song around a short riff that David had played in studio. Short, sure, but not small: “The riff is a super-super important part of [that] song.” Roger said songwriting was never easy. While the first “Money” verse came fast, the rest were hard work: “That’s the trick. Adding shit to the end of it.” HOW THE WALL WAS BORN Asked why the band was less public than their peers in The Beatles and Rolling Stones, Roger denied that it was intentional: “They were completely different bands.” Roger acknowledged a need to retreat--a need that actually inspired “The Wall”: “This was actually a wall I was building around that younger self of mine. Because I wasn’t ready for that career.” The idea of building an actual, non-figurative wall on stage came from an aggressive audience member: “Because he was climbing up the f’ing front of the stage!” NOT MUCH CHANCE OF A REUNION Roger said it was difficult, after Pink Floyd had broken up, to see his former band play his songs live--especially to bigger crowds than he could draw on his own: “It was character forming...[but now] I think I was wrong to think they were wrong.” Still, the band will likely never reunite: “Of course not. Well, possibly Nick...I don’t think David’s interested in doing anything.” But the hatchet’s been buried: “It’s not acrimony that prevents us from getting together.” Roger added that both Nick and David joined him on stage during a performance of the “The Wall” in London last November - but that was probably the closest to a Pink Floyd reunion we will ever see.
by howardstern.com

Eric the Midget's Hey JD Your Video Was So Damn Boring

Eric the Midget's Hey JD Your Video Was So Damn Boring

Howard Stern: A Biography (Greenwood Biographies)


rejects monologue challenge, and then proceeds to give me another challenge?






The Social Network (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)

New Jersey Shore - Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino ( MTV ) visits Howard Stern

DON'T TOUCH THE SITUATION'S HAIR




Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino stopped by to promote his new book, 'Here's the Situation,' and immediately complained that Gary had messed up his hair while putting on his headphones: "Gary had no regard...he didn't even care! There is a correct way to put on the headphones and he mushed me pretty much." (That was mushed, not smooshed.)

DESTINED TO BE THE SITUATION

Howard asked about Mike's pre-MTV life, so Mike explained that he'd started working out at 16 ("For chicks.") and was employed as a mortgage broker before landing his 'Jersey Shore' gig: "Until the market crashed and I had no job." After losing his job, Mike moved back in with his parents: "No money. Down on my luck. Unemployment. The whole 9." He turned to Jersey Shore (Group, GTL) TV Poster Print - 24x36modeling to make ends meet--and was 'discovered' soon after: "I did underwear modeling for 2 weeks and got noticed for TV."

Howard asked Mike how he dealt with gays in the modeling world, so Mike shrugged that it was weird when they'd ask to 'adjust' him in his underwear--so he'd just brush them off and handle things on his own: "It doesn't bother me one bit. I got mass appeal, I guess." Mike said he'd been comforted by a sense of destiny: "There was a voice in my head that said something was out there."

PROTEIN VODKA?!

While he was in studio, Mike repeatedly worked in plugs for his vodka company, Devotion, which sells "the first protein-infused vodka on the planet." Robin didn't understand the point: "Why would you infuse protein into vodka?" The Situation just laughed: "Why wouldn't you?"

IT'S HARD OUT THERE FOR A PIMP

Mike told the crew his newfound fame was making it hard to find a good girl: "You're target almost sometimes 'cause, you know, you're doing very well for yourself...it's getting hard for me to find a real relationship." Mike said he'd like to be in a committed relationship ("To share all these experiences I'm having.") but he only meets fame-hungry girls these days: "A good indicator is when she starts to brag about all the other famous people she's met.” Mike said it had gotten to the point that he had to have 24x7 security and he has them hold onto the cellphones of the girls he does hook-up with just make sure no photos get taken.

JD DOES NOT WANT TO BE SITUATED


Here's the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on theJersey Shore
Howard introduced Mike to JD, a staffer with a nickname of his own: "Did you ever hear of a guy on the Internet called Da Badass?" JD said he was irritated by Mike, as he was famous for dubious reasons: "I'm sorry I didn't think to trademark DTF." Mike offered JD some advice: "I think he should just be positive and have a positive outlook...when you are hating on people, you forget about your own goals."



Mike said he'd like to help JD turn around his look: "I would like to Situate you." JD dismissed the idea: "I don't want to be Situated. Let me be bitter and angry." Mike said he was serious ("I can actually turn him into a pimp.") but Howard doubted his ability to turn JD around, saying he spoke from experience: "I thought I could too but it's impossible." Asked for a summarized plan, Mike said he'd take JD and "shave him down, tan him up...he's gotta get different clothes, some jewelry.

ROBERT DUVALL visits howars stern and JD looks like howard stern's son ?

ROBERT DUVALL IS HONEST




Robert Duvall stopped by to promote his new film, 'Get Low,' and refused to count himself among the world's top 5 actors: "You forget the black guys. There's some good black guys." Robert also named Bill Murray, his 'Get Low' co-star, to the list: "He's one of the few guys out of Saturday Night Live that's a legitimate actor." Mel Gibson didn't make the cut: "The guy is strange."

Howard asked Robert to cite his best work, and Robert quickly answered that it wasn't on film--'Lonesome Dove' was on TV: "It's like the Bible in Texas." Robert then asked the crew a cryptic question: "Where's the cadaver?" Howard didn't know what to say. Robert laughed that he was looking for SiriusXM VP Scott Greenstein--back in his days as a producer, Scott saved 'The Apostle' from the clutches of Miramax.

ROBERT IN THE NEWS



Howard had a pile of reports about Robert and asked him to comment. The first was about his distant relation to President Obama: "That's what they say. I'm related to this guy." The second was about Joaquin Phoenix's attempts to get him angry on the set of 'We Own the Night'--Robert said he'd been annoyed with the process of method acting: "Just tell me to be mad. I'll be mad."

Howard then questioned Robert's friendship with right-wing pundits like Pat Robertson, so Robert shrugged: "It's better than these radical Muslims." Robert's conservative views also emerged when he said it was important for actors to stay busy between scenes: "Hobbies, hobbies and more hobbies. It keeps you off the dope."

JD LOOKS LIKE HOWARD'S SON



At several points, Robert said he had something to share with Howard in private, but Howard later reported that it never panned out: "He said, 'That's going to have to wait. That thing I was going to tell you.' Cause the guys were all hanging around." When Howard asked what JD should do about his inability to orgasm, Robert thought Howard should counsel his protégé: "Only you can give him advice. He looks like your son." howardstern.com
 
Thoughts ?

Howard Stern Sidekick Scores with Ashley Dupre at Nobu in L.A. ...

jd enchants ashley with his words, she wants some hot cock... i mean chocolate with him. Stern gave JD $5,000 to spend on Ashley any way he wanted -- and he chose to fly out to Los Angeles for a night on the town. They went to Nobu for dinner but what we wanted to know ... what were they planning for breakfast? Read more: http://www.tmz.com/2010/03/15/howard-stern-jd-ashle-dupre-date-video/#ixzz0iEud1twF

JD on his date with Ashlley Dupree..This is from Ashleys Twitter.....Do you think he scored that night at Nobu???.....

JD on his date with Ashlley Dupree..This is from Ashleys Twitter.....Do you think he scored that night at Nobu???.....

Ashley Dupre talks to Howard Stern live in person - JD asks out Ashley Dupre ?

Ashey Dupre finally shows up , 2nd time is a charm , however she was late ! Isn't it very convenient that he knows Spitzer's chick Ashley Dupre and, more importantly, that she has the most beautiful vagina, according to him? I wonder if he's up to the same old shenanigans. I'm not saying that he's still pimping, but he seems very, very opportunistic. If he still has her contact details, he's probably cooking up some things that will make both of them lots of many with all the attention she's getting. Saying she has a great vagina on the Howard Stern Show could definitely be the foundation for something good . howard stern asked if she has the best looking vagina , and breaking news , she turned down 2 million from hustler and playboy . also she announced she has a shaved V......Ashley Dupre, the infamous prostitute frequented by former NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer, is aware of the Stern show – and a fan. Howard said he had no problem with Ashley’s (former) chosen profession, but disagreed with her public claim that all women are prostitutes. Robin jokingly took Ashley's side: "You think we'd be here if we could find a rich guy?"


Howard replied: "Everyone wants to be taken care of. That's the fantasy...but do women sell their souls for that? No." Howard added that he'd love to have Ashley on the show and got his wish , "But don't demonize all women to make yourself feel better. It's not fair." 4,500 for 3-4 hrs , Ashley would make . Also Ashley annouced she was a run away and was i trouble maker at a young age she had sex for the first time at 15 years old. Buy girls gone wild and see Ashley in action















JD ASKS ASHLEY OUT
After hearing that JD had a huge crush on Ashley, Howard demanded that he come in to meet her. JD obliged – and asked her out: "I don't know what kind of guys you're into or whatever but I would take you out to lunch or something." Ashley wanted to test the waters first: "Maybe we can go get a hot chocolate. If you like." JD thought that was just fine. Howard jokingly tried to get JD to impress Ashley with his nerdy interests ("Tell her how you love fantasy football.") and – as Fred played JD's techno theme – dance skills.



Ashley loved JD's moves: "He's got, like, little fist-bumps...have you been watching 'Jersey Shore'?" JD played it cool: "F’ that show...Facebook me." Later, Howard asked JD if he'd followed up on it, and JD said he had: "I gave her my card...I put my cell phone [number] on the back." [Later, on the Wrap-Up Show, Gary revealed that she had emailed him after the show to thank him and had mentioned going out for hot chocolate with JD.]

Jd"s issue's !

DOES JD AIM TOO HIGH?


Howard played a few clips from yesterday's Wrap-Up Show in which JD discussed his love life. In the first, he wondered if he 'aimed too high' romantically: "I've been told that before. I was told that in high school, actually, by a girl that I liked. She said, 'You go for girls that you can't get' – whether that means they're too high or you know...I'm attracted to who I'm attracted to. I'm sorry if, you know, that I'm not attracted to everyone...I like who I like. I'm sorry."

JD said this pattern continued with the last girl he dated: "She got a boyfriend...because I'm not necessarily looking for something totally serious because I don't – I don't – you know, because I can barely handle myself, let alone having to be a part of sort of a relationship and dealing with someone else...I'm just not in that mode." JD went on: "I just, eh, I don't know, I'm just not looking for something...if it comes along, sure, but I don't know."

JD'S WANDERING EYE


JD finally confessed: "It sounds stupid but I have a wandering eye I guess you could say...I'm not looking for something...I hate this show. I hate talking on these shows. I like a lot of girls so I don't know how so – forget it...it's not working out so well." Asked about times he'd lowered his standards, JD said they went no better: "Nothing works out." Howard saw where JD was coming from: "If I'm gonna be shot down, I'm gonna go for the best."

JD'S MOM LOVES HIM AND HE LOVES HER

JD told the crew he hoped to visit his Mom soon, as she feels like he has a closer relationship with his father: "She's had these thoughts and that's not how it is." JD was happy with her renewed efforts: "She said her New Year's resolution is to see me and my brother more." Howard didn't think it sounded that very difficult, so JD explained she just felt "more out of the loop" because he visited/talked to his father more and felt left out.

Who will be your daddy ?

STERN SHOW SPERM BANK Will said he'd rather get a sperm donation from a family member than adopt: "I have a brother. I have uncles." Howard was horrified: "Don't do that. Go to a sperm bank and ask for the smartest good-looking guy...there's basic sibling rivalry...you don't want to be thinking that every time your brother comes over...you come to me before you decide anything. I mean privately." Howard again offered a semen sample, and Will considered it: "Lemme think about that. I'll get back to you." Howard cited JD as the staffer whose semen sample he'd personally be least-likely to use: "But you know what? I would take JD over Benjy. Because Benjy is disturbing. I'm worried about him." Howard also reconsidered taking JD before a couple others: "I would take JD before Sal or Richard? Am I crazy?" WHOSE BABY COULDN'T YOU RAISE? Howard eventually reversed position, with one complaint: "I think JD could be kind of a cool guy. There's just no way he's gonna get rid of that personality." Artie cited Richard as the last staffer he'd ask (besides himself): "Maybe it's just because I'm a city-slicker and arrogant." Howard couldn't decide: "Richard. Or maybe Sal. That's a tough one." Fred picked Jason, citing his looks: "It's not that he's ugly. It's the overweight issue. It's the excessive hair." Jason came in to agree with Fred, citing his hirsute physique – even stripping off his shirt to show the crew his hairy back. Fred was disgusted: "It's like a sweater." Howard noticed that Jason had a little pattern baldness on his back, so Jason explained that it had never grown back after his first back-waxing treatment. Howard then pointed to the bald spot on Jason's head: "They should take the hair off your back and put it on your head." howardstern.com

Stern Welcomes Taya Parker

Howard welcomed Taya Parker, the Penthouse Pet of the Year for 2009, and porn star/Penthouse Pet of the Month Teagan Presley. Howard told Teagan she was too hot to be a porn star and asked Taya how she was discovered. Taya said she started as an exotic dancer and eventually sent some pictures into Penthouse. Both girls said they were into anal sex, which led Howard to speculate that men would be happier with uninhibited girls like them. Teagan said he was right: "[They're] less likely to stray." Teagan told the crew that she was really into rough sex, including slapping and hair-pulling - she doesn't even like foreplay. Howard asked if she could orgasm without any foreplay, and Teagan reported that she could: "I once set a record. 23 orgasms in one session...I was tired." Howard then turned to Taya and asked if she gave private dances, she said she used to, but now she just usually does burlesque-type performances. JD ENJOYS A STRIPPER TRICK Taya wanted to show the crew her special lapdance "trick," so JD came in and sat down while Taya did a handstand and arched her back so her crotch was in his face. Howard didn't even know how to describe the stunt, so Teagan stepped in: "It's a back bend with her pussy in his face." JD was a fan of the trick: "She's a got a great ass. I loved it in my face." Taya then said she once danced for a guy and he had an "accident" in less than 15 seconds. Howard asked if Taya had ever danced for any celebrities, so she listed Kid Rock, Pam Anderson and Harrison Ford. Taya said Kid and Pam were fun but when she and some friends danced for Harrison Ford, he was kind of mean to them. Howard wondered if the girls were popular in high school, but Teagan denied it, saying she moved around too much to have many friends.

howardstern.com