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Monday, September 20, 2010

LESLIE MARIE SANTA MISS HOWARDTV OCTOBER / GARY IS GOING ON DAVID LETTERMAN

LESLIE MARIE SANTA MISS HOWARDTV OCTOBER




Leslie Marie Santa, Miss HowardTV for the month of October, stopped by and showed off her 5'4", 98lb frame: "I kind of stopped growing in 8th grade." Howard laughed: "You're like a little kid--almost. With big giant jugs."



Leslie said she liked to put said jugs to good use ("I cook topless a lot.") and was always ready to go: "If I'm not in the mood, I'm not going to shut it down. I'll still do things for him...I just like to please my man."

MIDGETS MAKE HER PASS OUT



Leslie revealed that she passed out whenever she saw a midget: "That's been happening to me since I was little and I don't really know why...it's not like I'm trying to be an asshole. I don't know why." Howard thought Leslie posed a danger to others ("Can you drive a car? What if you see a midget while you're driving?") and got Eric the Midget on the line to ask what he thought. Eric was annoyed: "Why do you have to put me on now?"



While Eric was on the line, Leslie looked around fearfully: "He better not be here...I don't want to see him walking around like that little Oompa Loompa walk." Howard thought Leslie needed to confront her fear like G. Gordon Liddy, who overcame his mortal fear of rats by eating one: "You have to eat a midget." Both Leslie and Eric refused. Fred laughed that Leslie was almost too good to be true: "Everything sounds perfect. She must have a cock."
BABA BOOEY TO DO LETTERMAN.  HOWARD STERN.COM




Lisa G reported that Gary had been booked to appear on Letterman to promote 'They Call Me Baba Booey.' Gary was very excited about the news: "It's a big booking, man. It's huge." Howard wondered how Letterman would introduce Gary: "Ladies and gentleman, here's a guy nobody cares about. He's written a book about himself." Gary laughed: "I spent the whole weekend thinking about what he's going to talk to me about, and I couldn't come up with anything."

After riffing on the bomb-potential of the segment for a while, Howard changed his mind, saying he thought Gary's segment might go well: "One thing Gary's not short on is words." But Howard and Fred still doubted whether Gary's book was any good. Gary bristled: "Was every single page in your book gold, Howard?" Howard admitted Gary had a point--an irrelevant one: "But I'm Howard."
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