‪#‎Howard‬ 100 and 101 hear Beetlejuice and Gary battle of wits . #Sternthology

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Today on ‪#‎Howard‬ 100 and 101 hear Beetlejuice and Gary the Slow Adult face off in a battle of wits. Think you have what it takes to challenge them?
Well did you know that R-E-D spells Lester? Didn't think so... ‪#‎MammaryLane‬

Here are your #Sternthology connections for today -- 5:00 pm EST on Howard 101 Thanksgiving at the Christys' Farm – This morning, you heard Richard’s story about the two portly women at the Pizza Hut Buffet in Kansas. Now, hear Shuli’s report after he embedded himself at the Christys' Thanksgiving. (11-28-05) Chris Rock – Listen to Chris Rock’s first appearance after Howard announced he was marrying Beth. This brought Chris’s legendary line, “You’re going back to Shawshank?!” (3-14-07) Sam Cheated on Malika With Her Sister – Our late friend, Sam Kinison, believed in always living life to the fullest. That was true for his comedy, his partying, and even his women. Hear him talk about cheating on his future wife with her sister. (7-1-91) Music of The Howard Stern Show – Billy Preston “That’s The Way God Planned It” (8-20-91)

GARY AND ARTIE AIR THEIR DIFFERENCES on Air with Howard

GARY AND ARTIE AIR THEIR DIFFERENCES ARE ARTIE'S LIES GOOD FOR THE SHOW? Artie opened the show speculating that his "lie-and-then-confess-later method" of dealing with the truth actually benefits the show. Howard thought the argument was hilarious, but Robin insisted that Artie's lies had flagged a deeper issue. Howard then played a clip of Brad Garrett during his last visit correctly guessing that Artie had stopped going to therapy and Artie lying in response: "I go Tuesdays and Thursdays...I will be there tomorrow." Artie speculated that Gary's comments on the issue (on yesterday's Wrap-Up Show) were indicative of an underlying resentment. Gary came in to laugh that, not only was the theory not true, but he thought the opposite was more likely the case – Artie resented him. Gary added that he felt betrayed by Artie's dishonesty, but Artie argued that it was like he had slept with Gary's wife: "I'm too honest. That's the problem. You people shouldn't even know that I'm in therapy [in the first place]." Artie did admit that he has lied in the past: "I've had girls that I told I've never been with whores." Gary said he thought Artie started to resent him after seeing one of his paychecks, but Artie laughed that off: "I can't even believe that's what you said. That's not even on my mind." Gary ignored Artie's protests, saying he still thought the incident was an issue: "You thought it was too much." Howard laughed: "I think it's too much." Lisa G came in to say that Artie tried to show her Gary's paycheck at his birthday party, but Artie claimed he was just joking. Howard asked Lisa if she was still upset with Artie, and Lisa said she went through her file of Artie quotes yesterday: "We're not gonna have a good ending...I don't feel good about this." Artie told Lisa, "That's crazy. You're a nutto...I'm gonna bang you, but I'm worried. 'Cause you're crazy." Jason came in to confirm Lisa's story: "You had the check out and you were showing it around the party." Artie said, "I don't deny that I told people about getting the check [by mistake]. I had a couple drinks. But I didn’t even have it with me at the party, I was joking." howardstern.com

Gary the retard , made history again !! Great show !

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR “GARYPALOOZA” Howard started off the show announcing that today was going to be a “Garypalooza”: the show will be introducing Gary the Retard to Hitler, Angelina Jolie, and Abraham Lincoln - and then sending him to the moon. Howard showed the crew the “spaceship” they had built explaining how Gary would get into the ship and be “launched”/dragged to the green room, which was set up to look like the moon. Isaac Mark from HowardTV came in to add that they've hidden various things around the “moon” for Gary to find, like cheese and a Playboy magazine. ERIC THE GOATEED MIDGET'S ANGELS Eric the Midget called in to say his modeling agency will be open soon, but he's yet to start searching for his models in strip clubs. Howard asked Eric if he had ever had a woman in his bedroom, and Eric admitted that he did not. HowardTV then brought up Eric's webcam feed on the in-studio monitors, and Howard laughed that Eric was growing a mustache. Eric insisted that he was not only growing a mustache, but also a goatee. GARY THE RETARD ON COMEDY SHOW PROTOCOL Howard welcomed Gary the Retard to his 56th birthday celebration – Garypalooza! - and asked him if it was true that he was attracted to Miss Howard Stern. Gary replied that he would like to marry Miss Howard Stern, as he liked to masturbate while he fantasized about her and was afraid someone had chained her up in a basement. Howard also asked why Gary recently used the n-word on stage at a Killers of Comedy show in Texas, but Gary thought it was normal; “That's what people say at comedy shows.” LET GARYPALOOZA BEGIN! Richard came in as the doctor who delivered Gary and admitted that he dropped baby Gary on his head; “He was a genius when he was born - he came out doing math problems. I thought he was going to be the next Einstein, but I slipped up and dropped him.” Gary threatened to sue, so Richard promised to cure him of his retardation (by pushing the “reset button” located on his prostate inside his rectum) instead. Gary didn't want to hear it and insisted he'd rather be retarded and “with Howard” than normal. When Richard asked Gary if he ever had wondered what 9 times 9 was, Gary immediately answered “81!” Richard thought this could only mean that somebody had already pushed his “reset button,” but Gary strenuously denied that anyone had stuck anything up there. Will Murray then came in as “Angelina Jolie,” but Gary thought “Angelina” looked too much a like a guy for him. “Angelina” offered to have sex with Gary, but Gary vehemently refused, citing his last appearance, when Benjy fooled him by dressing up as a woman. Fred then came in as “Don Imus” to offer Gary a job on his show for $10 a week, but Gary told him; “You know what...you bluh blay fun of this man...get out here!” THE FIRST RETARD ON THE MOON Howard welcomed the next celebrity to say hi to Gary, Richard as “Adolph Hitler,” who told Gary about his new anti-Jew spray. Gary didn't show much interest, so Howard apologized for not being able to get good enough birthday surprise guests. Howard said he had one last guest to make up for it all: Sal as “President Abraham Lincoln.” “President Lincoln” invited Gary to be the first retard on the moon, and Gary accepted.

howardstern.com