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Monday, October 31, 2011

NEW BIGGEST WHORE IS CROWNED

A NEW BIGGEST WHORE IS CROWNED BETH, WBW CONTESTANT #1 Howard kicked off The World’s Biggest Whore contest by introducing Beth, a 25-year-old woman who enjoyed the benefits of an open marriage. Beth said her husband understood her needs (“He’s not home very often.”), so she sought out company online--and in her husband’s rolodex: “There’s been a couple of his friends.” Beth said she had almost no standards for the men she sleeps with, and often has them over to her home after putting her children to bed. Howard stopped her: “The kids go to sleep upstairs and perfect strangers come into the house? Wow. That is a big whore...what if the guy’s dangerous?” Beth shrugged: “I think about it but...” Beth said she her online profiles all specify that her partners must have a 6 or 7 inch penis--minimum. If they meet her requirements, she’s up for “anal, oral, whatever”, as many partners as possible (“There’s been 5 or 6 in one night.”) and shows all the evidence to her husband: “If there’s any [photographs] taken, yeah.” ABBY, WBW CONTESTANT #2 The second contestant, Abby, said she was just 21 years-old: “I lost my virginity at 13 and started fooling around with order guys at 14-15.” A self-described nymphomaniac, she’s no racist: “I’ve had my fair share of black guys...I don’t discriminate.” She has a steady rotation of partners: “I have a call list. I have ten speed-dial numbers that will come at a whim.” Abby said she can only remember the names of about “40 or 50” of her partners: “I love to give oral. I have absolutely no gag reflexes.” She’s had sex as many as 6 or 7 times a day, with as many as 3 or 4 guys at a time: “I’ve done an Eiffel Tower, which is anal [as] you’re bent over sucking the other guy.” For a while, she was attending a mechanic’s school: “I f’ed all but one guy in my class. I’m pretty sure he was gay.” “THERE WAS, LIKE, DROOL EVERYWHERE” Just last night, Abby picked up two guys at a club and brought them back to her hotel room, after a stop off at The Hustler Club, and banged them both: “One didn’t know how to use his tongue and the other didn’t know how to use his fingers...there was, like, drool everywhere.” DEBBIE, WBW CONTESTANT #3 The third contestant, Debbie, said she was just a teen when she first saw a woman giving head: “I knew [then] I was going to be focusing my life on giving head.” She’s since become addicted to the feel of penis on her tongue: “I love to put it in my mouth when it’s nice and soft and feel it grow.” She’s such a dedicated whore, she paid her own way to take part in today’s contest: “I just want the confirmation that I am the biggest whore. I’m proud of it...if you all want to give me a pint of cum, that’s better.” Debbie confessed that she was dead serious about the addiction: “It’s an obsession. It’s definitely not a want. It’s a need.” If she hasn’t given head in a few hours, “I become a major bitch. People, their voices annoy me until I give head...I need to have it after a while because my head’s going to start hurting if I’m not sucking on something soon.” PUT THAT SUGAR ON HER TONGUE Debbie pulled down her pants to reveal a tattoo of a penis with the word “Sugar” above it: “This is my trademark.” Sugar is her word for semen--she begged Howard for a jar’s worth: “Don’t waste it. That’s a sin to waste. Save it for me.” Asked if she’d ever considered taking payment for her services, Debbie shook her head: “If anything I should pay them. They’re giving me their sugar...if they want to use a condom that’s fine, but then I’ll drink the sugar out of the condom.” THE KING COMETH King of All Blacks called in from his sweeper to let everyone know his pick for biggest whore: Debbie. King further explained that he was so moved by Debbie’s description of her love of giving head that he had to take care of business right there in his street sweeper. When King admitted to finishing in his pants, Debbie chastised him for wasting her sugar. HERE SHE IS, THE WORLD’S BIGGEST WHORE Howard then turned the contest over to his callers, and Debbie won the $10,000 prize with 47% of the vote: “Oh my gosh, I’d feel better if I had a load, but thank you.” Asked what she planned to do with the cash, Debbie shrugged that it meant little to her: “I’m going to have to see about buying some come.” howardstern.com
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