Stern Show Fantasy Football Draft
Stern Show Fantasy Football Draft
by Jason Kaplan
Ah, the fantasy draft. For the 6th year in a row fat slobs like me (Jason Kaplan) and JD Harmeyer can vie for a championship in a sports related game that doesn't require us to do anything more physical than flipping on the NFL Red Zone channel.
It's Fantasy Football and this is my seventh year in a row doing it. Fantasy football itself is fun, but it's at its most fun when you are doing with your friends and the ball busting and competition lasts all season long.
Every year the guys in our league gather together in a conference room at Sirius, eat some bad food, make some bad picks, and wish JD good luck on not finishing last this season (he's finished last two years in a row. That's almost as hard as winning two years in a row)
So without further ado, here's an inside look at the coolest guys to play a game based on a game - the Stern Show Fantasy Draft 2012
Stern Show Draft 2012
A good draft starts with 3 things - a good commissioner to organize everything (thank's Will!), a professional draft board (thanks David Heydt!) and of course, junk food. That's where everyone can thank me, Jason, for bringing the best (and classiest) food around - a White Castle Crave Case
Not to be out done, three-time defending league champion (and Type 1 Diabetic) Jon Hein brought a giant Hershey Bar
Another key to a great draft is prep and wow, does everyone go into over drive with their draft prep. I've personally come a long way, check out my professional set up:
At the Champions Table, JD and Jon Hein have their research ready:
Scott Salem is always the biggest slob when it comes to his papers. I would have taken a picture of it but I was too busy guarding my notes from being encroached by whatever he had going on.
Two notes on Scott: He knows what he's doing when it comes to the draft but he seems always be using statistics from 2 years ago. Also, he takes forever to pick and drives Will Murray nuts.
Matthew Berry is better known as the Talented Mr. Roto from ESPN. He's their Fantasy expert and has been doing drafts like this since before there were computers. He's replaced the horrible Jerry O'Connell* as our resident league celebrity and this is the 2nd year he's doing it.
I had no idea what I was doing when it came to Fantasy Football until I started reading Matthew's columns on ESPN and listening to his podcast. He's very funny and a great communicator and really helped me wrap my head around how to be successful at fantasy.
Which is why it was both a thrill and a honor to sit next to him in this draft and use his own rankings against him. It was with glee that I picked his sleepers, avoided his busts, and pretty much drafted the team that he would have tried to draft.
Berry is only now awakening to what a douche bag I am
This draft was surpringly controversy free. The only hint of a fight came when Will Murray drafted a running back that Jon Hein really wanted (and needed) and Will seemingly did it just to piss Jon off. So kudos to will on that. It's also a great time to mention that Mr. Sports Will Murray has never, ever won our league
1 last note: I ate 10 White Castle Cheeseburgers
Here's our full draft board with a full list of everyone's team below, if you want to keep score at home. It's my opinion that JD had the weakest draft (on paper) but what do I know, that kid finds a way to finish in last place almost every year
*Jerry O'Connell, while a very nice man, husband and father, is a horrible person to have your fantasy league. He never makes moves or trades and usually held up our entire waiver wire process. The last year he was in our league, he drafted only Giants and Cowboys, his two favorite teams, which should tell you everything you need to know about Jerry O the football fan
Jon Hein, 1st pick, 3 time league champion
Rd 1 Arian Foster Rd 2 Jamaal Charles Rd 3 Roddy White Rd 4 Greg Jennings Rd 5 Antonio Brown Rd 6 Jermichael Finley Rd 7 Steve Johnson Rd 8 Matt Schaub Rd 9 Isaac Redman Rd 10 Kevin Smith DEF: Chicago (Rd 14 of 18) K: David Akers
Will Murray, 2nd pick, has never ever won the championship. Not even once. Not even close
Rd 1 Ray Rice Rd 2 Cam Newton Rd 3 AJ Green Rd 4 Steve Smiths (Panthers) Rd 5 Willis McGahee Rd 6 Dwayne Bowe Rd 7 Ryan Williams Rd 8 Ben Tate Rd 9 Vernon Davis Rd 10 Greg Little DEF: Philadelphia K: Jason Hanson
Gary Dell'Abate, 3rd pick, Jets Fan
Rd 1 LeSean McCoy Rd 2 Steven Jackson Rd 3 Larry Fitzgerald Rd 4 Ahmad Bradshaw Rd 5 Dez Bryant Rd 6 Eli Manning Rd 7 BenJarvis Green Ellis Rd 8 Santonio Holmes Rd 9 Fred Davis Rd 10 Jacquizz Rodgers DEF: NY Jets K: Mason Crosby
Jason Kaplan, 4th pick, 1 time league champ. Yeah, that's right, suck it
Rd 1 Aaron Rodgers Rd 2 Julie Jones Rd 3 Fred Jackson Rd 4 Brandon Lloyd Rd 5 Jordy Nelson Rd 6 Torrey Smith Rd 7 Donald Brown Rd 8 David Wilson Rd 9 CJ Spiller Rd 10 Mark Ingram DEF: NY Giants K: Alex Henry
Matthew Berry, 5th pick, Fantasy Expert
Rd 1 Tom Brady Rd 2 Matt Forte Rd 3 MJD Rd 4 Hakeem Nicks Rd 5 Percy Harvin Rd 6 Aaron Hernandez Rd 7 Cedric Benson Rd 8 Rashaad Jennings Rd 9 Denarious Moore Rd 10 Kendall Wright DEF: Seattle K: Dan Bailey
Steve Brandano, 6th picked, drafted over the phone, took abuse from Berry
Rd 1 Drew Brees Rd 2 Rob Gronkowski Rd 3 Michael Turner Rd 4 Darren Sproles Rd 5 Mike Wallace Rd 6 Eric Decker Rd 7 Miles Austin Rd 8 Vincent Jackson Rd 9 Michael Bush Rd 10 Daniel Thomas DEF: Buffalo K: Matt Prater
Scott Salem, 7th pick, Black Cloud
Rd 1 Calvin Johnson Rd 2 Matt Stafford Rd 3 Ryan Matthews Rd 4 Trent Richardson Rd 5 Jeremy Maclin Rd 6 Shonn Green Rd 7 Robert Meachem Rd 8 DeAngelo Williams Rd 9 Jermaine Gresham Rd 10 Lance Moore DEF: Detroit and Baltimore K: Janikowski
Ben Barto, 8th pick, Tapes Team Guru
Rd 1 Darren McFadden Rd 2 Adrian Peterson Rd 3 Wes Welker Rd 4 Brandon Marshall Rd 5 DeSean Jackson Rd 6 Frank Gore Rd 7 Michael Vick Rd 8 Reggie Wayne Rd 9 Michael Bush Rd 10 Beanie Wells DEF: Green Bay K: Gostkowski
David Heydt, 9th pick, known as "The Hate"
Rd 1 Jimmy Graham Rd 2 Marshan Lynch Rd 3 Doug Martin Rd 4 Victor Cruz Rd 5 Marques Colston Rd 6 Matt Ryan Rd 7 Peyton Hillis Rd 8 Pierre Gardon Rd 9 Anquan Boldin Rd 10 Robert Turbin DEF: San Francisco and Houston K: Garrett Hartley
JD Harmeyer, 1 time league champ, picking last and certainly least
Rd 1 Chris Johnson Rd 2 DeMarco Murray Rd 3 Andre Johnson Rd 4 Demaryius Thomas Rd 5 Tony Romo Rd 6 Justin Blackmon Rd 7 Stevan Ridley Rd 8 Kenny Britt Rd 9 RG III Rd 10 Sidney Rice DEF: Pittsburgh and Cincinnati K: Rob Bironas
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment