Gary reported that Sal may have masturbated to Robin's bras last week--he was locked in the staff bathroom with them for a while last Wednesday: "Robin's bras were hanging in the bathroom...and he was in there for 15 minutes."
Sal denied all charges: "That's crazy. No. I even told Ronnie. I have stomach problems. I took a shit...the way they [the bras] dangle, they don't look good." Robin was relieved: "I'm glad he doesn't want to jerk off to them."
ATTACK OF THE BUGS
Howard revealed that today's show had actually been cancelled over the weekend due to the discovery of bedbugs in the Sirius XM offices. However, the company acted fast: "We received treatments here and supposedly we're 100% bedbug-free. The only place in New York City that probably is 100% bedbug-free." Howard regretted the veracity of the treatment--a doubt he knew might be irrational: "You know how paranoid I am about bedbugs."
Howard blamed anti-DDT environmentalists for the bedbug epidemic, saying the insects weren't a problem when DDT was still widely-used: "Now they're back! Because of hippies with their goddamn DDT-inhibition!" Howard began suffering a psychosomatic itch: "All I know is I'm scratching every minute...I just wish our contract was done and we could get out of here." As a result, Howard shortened the day's show: "My new routine is: as soon as the show's over, I get out of here."
THE BEDBUGS STRIKE HOWARD'S LIMO
As per Beth's suggestion, Ronnie had a bedbug-detecting beagle check Howard's limo and reported the bad news late in the show: "You can't go in your limo. The dog was just in there. He--two spots he picked--she picked, I should say." Ronnie signaled something else as well, leading Howard to complain: "You realize Ronnie also has to talk to me off the air? He has to tell me something even worse!" Howard later demanded Sirius XM provide him with a mask, helmet and full-body haz-mat suit: "I want it to cover my shoes all the way up to my neck." HOWARDSTERN.COM
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