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Friday, February 12, 2010

Ronnie Takes over crumbs cookies ?

JACKIE THE JOKE MAN STIRS THE POT

THE JOKE MAN IS A THIN MAN...
Jackie 'The Joke Man' Martling stopped by to promote his various projects--including an upcoming appearance on TNT's 'Leverage'--and Howard immediately noted that he'd lost "an alarming amount of weight." Jackie shrugged that he'd lost 45lbs and felt great ("And Norris tells people I'm dying!"), despite the stretch marks his temporary weight gain had left on his stomach.

Howard then asked Jackie about the anti-Semitic jokes ("Hey you Jew bastard!") that Jackie used--even if in jest--at a recent lunch meeting, saying: "If you grow up hearing that every two minutes..." Jackie cut in: "I can't control what your parents said to ya."

...AND A SINGLE MAN
Howard asked Jackie what happened to the girlfriend he'd had until very recently, theorizing aloud: "What did you do to blow this? You're difficult." Jackie tried to avoid the topic at first: "I'm not talking about it. That's my girlfriend and we broke up, you know, four months ago."

Howard noted that Jackie had lied and said the relationship was going great--when they'd already broken up--so Jackie attempted to explain: "I don't wanna spend X amount of time saying uhhh you know...it just wasn't right, you know. I think you hit the nail on the head with I'm difficult." Jackie said he knew it was over when they were walking through a pet store one day: I turned to her and said, 'Did I ever tell you...' And she said, 'Yes.'"

JACKIE TELLS THE TRUTH?
A caller named Sean claimed he'd been putting a movie together and had talked to Jackie about staring in it--until he also cast Richard Christy, causing Jackie to back out. Jackie dismissed the charges: "I backed out because you changed the deal a million times!" Sean didn't directly answer Jackie's claim, saying instead that he still wanted to work with Jackie. Everyone--particularly Howard--was surprised that Jackie seemed to be telling the truth.

JASON VS RONNIE

RONNIE'S DELIVERY SERVICE
Howard began discussing Ronnie the Limo Driver's bizarre cookie-delivery system--Ronnie commandeers the weekly Crumbs delivery every Wednesday morning to set aside several cookies and cupcakes for delivery to several SiriusXM staffers who work outside the Stern office. Howard asked Ronnie to explain his delivery route in detail, but Ronnie locked himself in the bathroom and refused to come out.

Howard got Ronnie to run the studio with a single decree: "Gary, no more Rick's plugs for Ronnie." Ronnie burst in ranting: "Take it! Go ahead, take it! Don't scare me, man...take whatever you want from me...I could always go work somewhere else." Howard called his bluff: "Go ahead." Ronnie still tried to stonewall Howard's investigation, so Jason came in to report: "All I know is the black-and-white cookies are gone by 6:04 if you don't grab one [immediately]."

THE DELIVERIES DETAILED
Reports started coming in and cracked Howard up: "What do you care if Jared [Fox] gets cookies?" Ronnie snapped: "The guy's my friend! What's the big deal?" Under pressure, Ronnie admitted he sets 3 black-and-white cookies aside for Jared, a cupcake for two of SiriusXM's receptionists and some apple rugelach for Ross Zapin.

Howard decided that Ronnie should no longer touch any baked goods delivered to the office: "Do not go there. Don't let me hear you're there." Toward the end of the segment, Medicated Pete came to offer himself as Ronnie’s replacement: “I wanna be Medicated Pete the Limo Driver.”

RONNIE RAGES ON JASON
Later, Jason came in to say Ronnie had attacked him: "He charged me, grabbed me and threw a--threw a garbage can at me. And uh I'm-I'm-I'm not happy about it. It stopped being funny. I'm not happy." Jason admitted he'd stuck his tongue out and taunted Ronnie before the incident, but Howard still laid fault on Ronnie, promising to talk to him off the air: "Over these dumb f’ing cookies?"
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