50 Cent Visits Howard Stern ! Talks About Chris Brown & Porn Stars ?

50 CENT ON GROUPIES, FAME 50 Cent stopped by to promote his new video game, "50 Cent: Blood in the Sand," and told Howard: "I came here at just the right time. Porn stars leaving!" Howard thought 50 would be too busy with groupies for porn stars, but 50 denied it: "It depends on the circumstances of my level of horniness...it's where you're at physically at that point. Sometimes you eat a meal and [then] stop off at McDonalds." Howard asked if 50 was scoring any famous women, but 50 kept his nose clean: "Nah. None of that." Howard referenced the rumor that 50 had knocked out a fellow cast member on the set of "Righteous Kill," so 50 explained: "They made that up. I swear to you, I didn't hit nobody." 50 added that the public's desire to see a celebrity fall apart (like Britney Spears) was actually the inspiration behind his forthcoming record [coming this summer]. PAY OFF YOUR WOMEN, DON'T BEAT 'EM While they were talking about celebrity schadenfreude, 50 mentioned Chris Brown and Rihanna: "Anybody who uses current events in their material would make a joke out of it...but when you get to that point, when she's beaten like that, it's not funny anymore." 50 said Chris Brown was "as clean cut as they come" prior to the incident: "He'll never make it back to where he was...he'll have to become something different." Robin asked how his ongoing (and oft-publicized) child support negotiations were going, so 50 explained that he paid $84,000 in child support, which his babymomma gets tax-free (the equivalent of a $130,000 income) - but she still wants more for dubious reasons: "What kind of 12-year-old kid spends that? It got to that point where it's completely about money." howardstern.com

Janessa Brazil Is the new March Miss Howard TV

Month: March 2009 Age: 24 Height: 5'8" Weight: 120 Measurements: 34D-24-35 Sign: Aquarius Janessa Brazil, next month's Miss HowardTV, stopped by to say hello, and Howard told her she was even more attractive in person than on her X-rated website. Howard remarked that there wasn't an ounce of fat on Janessa, and Artie marveled at her amazing skin: "Alright. I gotta get outta here...look at her ass. I mean, that is f’ing flawless." Janessa then told the crew she'd only had sex with one man, but many women: "I like my women." ASS AND PANTY-STUFFING Janessa said she made money by starring in personalized videos in which she masturbates on a webcam for her customers. Janessa claimed she even did fetish videos that feature acts like "panty-stuffing," which involved shoving panties inside herself ("All the way. You can't even see the panties."), masturbating and pulling the soaked panties back out. She also does foot fetish videos: "Sometimes they just like to see the bottoms of your feet crinkle." Howard asked if Janessa had a limit, so she replied that she won't put a high heel in her vagina: "It's just dirty." Artie stepped his usual "hottest chick we've ever had up here" line up to another level: "She's my favorite person in the world." Janessa then noted that she'd just started stretching her anus with her fingers: "The furthest I'll [currently] go is two fingers." WAS IT AS GOOD FOR YOU TOO? It took no effort to get Janessa to strip down and jump on the Sybian. Gary donned a welder's mask (so that no one would be distracted by his lips/teeth/face during Janessa's ride) and took the controls. Janessa seemed to enjoy the ride: "I'm coming! Oh f’!" Howard commended her style: "I notice you grabbed your breasts a lot during that." Janessa loved it: "That was the best orgasm ever...that was the real deal. I'm shaking." howarstern.com

Todays show was all about Arti Lang & Richard "s Epic heavy Metal Comedy viking rock opera !

ARTIE SHACKS UP WITH "NOT-A-HOOKER" Artie told the crew that he met up with a former hooker in Vegas over the break: "She's a - well, she used to be paid. I think I fell in love with a hooker...she's a real person. You know, a lot of people think whores aren't real people." Howard said he was surprised to learn that several well known, wealthy guys married former hookers, but Artie didn't think he'd follow suit ("She has kids."). He also claimed to have gotten the numbers of a few of the Playmates he met at the taping of Sam Simon's charity poker show (for Playboy TV). Artie said he got so turned on by the Playmates, he called up his "not-a-hooker" and took her to his hotel room: "This was quick because I told her I was horny." Artie then changed his flight to a later hour and shacked up with his friend for a good 10 hours, banging her a reported 4 times – all with condoms, of course. HE'S UP $6K, NO THANKS TO SAM SIMON Artie laughed that the rules of Sam's show were suspect - after getting knocked out, losing players were told they owed Sam any money (outside a complimentary $500) they'd lost on camera. Howard joked: "It's like being on 'ER' and then getting a hospital bill." Artie then did a little math, saying he lost $8K on Sam's show, but won $14K at the casino tables - in the end, he was up $6K. After Artie sang some “suggestive” songs he thought the African guides might have sung to her as they climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, Angie had one comment: "You really are a foul man." ARTIE'S LIVING THE DREAM Artie told a story about being offered a lot of money to do the next season of Celebrity Rehab, but he turned it down: "My dream is right now: being able to turn down 'Celebrity Rehab.'" Artie said one thing could convince him: "I wanna know what damaged chicks would be on with me." Howard noted that Andy Dick was offered $500,000 to do the show's first season, so Artie should hold out for more cash. howardstern.com Richard Christy's Epic Heavy Metal-Comedy-Viking-Rock Opera MAJESTIC LOINCLOTH Perhaps the Manliest Movie Ever Made! Watch At Your Own Risk, Contains Dangerous Amounts Of Testosterone.

Artie Out Sick Again !?

ARTIE IS SICK AND WE ALL SUFFER Howard started off the show noting that Artie wouldn't be in: "It's a sick day for Artie." Robin was irritated, referencing the way Artie's absence seems to take over the conversation: "And it's a sick day for us." Jason came in to say Artie called his cellphone, which isn't wired for recording: "I was actually really worried about him...he said it wasn't anything drug related." Before hanging up, Artie scared Jason: "He said, 'I'm not gonna hurt myself if that's what you're thinking.'" Robin thought Artie was lying about his illness: "He's said here that he's never been sick." Benjy had a different take: "Based on what he's said, he's most likely withdrawing from drugs than doing drugs." "MISSING THIS SHOW SEEMS TO BE OK" Gary came in with yet another theory, this time based on the [off-air] issue Artie has said was plaguing his personal life. Howard dismissed all the theories in favor of proof: "I would know Artie was really sick if he missed [his upcoming poker gameshow with Norm MacDonald and Sam Simon in] Vegas. Missing this show seems to be ok." HOWARDSTERN.COM