ROBIN'S PITCH STRIKES HOME Early in the show, Howard commended Robin for topping Gary's 'Jimmy Kimmel Live' pitches--in just one try. Robin said she benefitted, unlike Gary, from a clear mind: "I didn't really have time to think about anything." Howard described the scene of Robin's strike: "She went with high heels and you know--high heels, for Christ's sake--and threw the ball better than anybody." Robin wondered why Gary had such a hard time throwing a ball: "How could Gary not be able to do this? It's so easy. And I don't even know what I'm doing." Howard laughed that Robin had emasculated yet another staffer: "Gary looked like a woman." Robin cut in: "No, I'm a woman. He's less than." Howard asked how 'less than' Gary really was: "Are you great or is Gary just physically retarded?" GARY'S ENDLESS BOOK TOUR Howard complained that Gary's endless 'They Call Me Baba Booey' promotion tour was beginning to backfire, as the media often decontextualizes Gary's appearances and interviews and uses them to speculate about Howard: "I feel overly discussed on all these shows. I'm happy for you. I've told you this. [But] I didn't know your book promotion was going to go on for a year. Enough. It's too much. Listen, Gary: nobody gives a damn." Gary said his book promotion has never interfered with his work ("I never left being a producer.") and hadn't grown any larger than planned: "This was all laid out by the publicist in advance." Howard didn't understand the extended timetable: "I've never seen a book promotion go on so long. The President of the United States [didn't] go on this long. It's enough. We've gotten the word...usually it's done in a two week period...calm down now." STICK TO PRODUCING, BABA BOOEY Howard continued to complain about Gary's interviews: "They don't want to talk about him. Because who cares about him? They get a hold of him and they want to talk about me." Robin thought it made sense: "The most exciting thing about Gary is that he works with you." Howard agreed but didn't want Gary to serve as the show's media representative: "I can control me. I can't control you." Later, after Howard again started taking shots at Gary's book tour, Gary called it off, shouting: "I just said I'll end it!" Howard doubtfully turned to Robin: "He's not ending anything...he's Baba Booey. He loves it." Gary admitted: "Alright. I'm scaling it back." Gary said the tour would be over by next Thursday--Howard mockingly wondered what Gary had left to do: "You were on HDNet. You've done it all." DR. DREW SAYS: DON'T BE A DOCTOR Dr. Drew stopped by to promote the new season of 'Celebrity Rehab' and told the crew about the hardships facing many family practice doctors: "It's the most adulterated of all areas of the profession." Drew said the rising cost of malpractice insurance and attendant stress were a large part of why he left behind a more traditional means of practicing medicine: "It pushed me out a little bit." So when his son said he wanted to be a doctor, Drew leveled with him: "I said, 'Make sure it's something you’ve got to do.'" IS 'CELEBRITY REHAB' AN ABOMINATION? Robin, still burning from her high score on Drew's narcissism test, wondered how Drew made the leap from family practice to TV: "Don't you think 'Celebrity Rehab' is kind of an abomination? It's not real medicine. You're not really helping anybody." Drew argued that he didn't change anything for the cameras: "I do exactly what I do in my regular treatment program with my usual team. We don't do anything different than we always do."
howardstern.com
Monday, November 29, 2010
cyber monday and black friday sales on howard stern
cyber monday and black friday sales on howard stern
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Gary "Baba Booey" Dell'Abate Pitch on Jimmy Kimmel Live
Gary "Baba Booey" Dell'Abate Pitch on Jimmy Kimmel Live
Jimmy Kimmel Live - The second part of Jimmy's interview with Gary "Baba Booey" Dell'Abate, where he attempts to make good with another first pitch
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
STAFF IQ TEST AND MISS HOWARD TV dECEMBER
STAFF IQ TEST-ROUND 2: RESULTS
Howard then announced the results from lowest to highest--the first, with a score of 87, was Bobo. Bobo was crestfallen, fearing that all of his neighbors were listening: "I'm in bad shape...this is so damaging. I'm going to have to move." Eric the Midget was next with a score of 90, shrugging: "I guess it's a reasonable number." Steve Grillo registered a 99: "Figured that." Will the Farter came in one point higher at 100.
The staffers took the top three slots, starting with Mike Gange at 110--the lowest score he thought he could be happy with: "I would like to have been higher but at least 110 is my line." Jon Hein surprised everyone by tying Gary's 121: "When I walked out of the test--I told a couple people--I knew I didn't kill it." Will crowed over his victory--before the score was announced: "Scott! Suck my balls!" Howard then announced it as 130. Will pumped his fists: "Eat it! That's what's up!"
MEET VIVIAN VON QUEEF
Before he left, Will the Farter introduced Howard to his protege, Vivian Von Queef, who discovered she could queef at the age of 12 by blowing bubbles in the bathtub. Vivian promptly stripped down to her thong and boots and queefed along to Silent Night, with Will the Farter’s accompaniment. Howard sang modified lyrics: 'Sleep in heavenly queef!' Later, Vivian jumped on the Sybian, but it had no effect: "I think you're going to mess up my queefing. You're going to de-tune my instrument."
NATALIE NICE, MISS HOWARDTV DECEMBER
Natalie Nice, Miss HowardTV for the month of December, stopped by to meet Howard. Natalie said she posed naked and hooked up with other women on her Website: "One time on a shoot I double-fisted a girl. It was really disturbing." Before doing porn, Natalie worked as a 'personal banker'--and housewife: "We actually met in a political studies class...I always wanted to go to law school. When I'm done with the Website, maybe."
Natalie showed Howard the large birthmark she had near her genitals: "I call it my Cindy Crawford pussy. I have a little beauty mark next to my pussy...in pictures it really sets me apart." Natalie said her Website's subscribers are her birthmark’s biggest fans--though some just want abuse: "A lot of guys on cam like to be humiliated. They ask for it. A lot of guys like small penis humiliation."
Howard asked Natalie to give him an example of 'small penis humiliation,' so she told him he wasn't hung like a man: "I wouldn't even consider you a girl." Howard had his fill immediately: "Ok that's enough for me." Natalie then jumped on the Sybian and, with a little coaching from Gange, Gary and Will, reached climax: "Easy, tiger! That felt good! That was definitely shaking me."
Howard then announced the results from lowest to highest--the first, with a score of 87, was Bobo. Bobo was crestfallen, fearing that all of his neighbors were listening: "I'm in bad shape...this is so damaging. I'm going to have to move." Eric the Midget was next with a score of 90, shrugging: "I guess it's a reasonable number." Steve Grillo registered a 99: "Figured that." Will the Farter came in one point higher at 100.
The staffers took the top three slots, starting with Mike Gange at 110--the lowest score he thought he could be happy with: "I would like to have been higher but at least 110 is my line." Jon Hein surprised everyone by tying Gary's 121: "When I walked out of the test--I told a couple people--I knew I didn't kill it." Will crowed over his victory--before the score was announced: "Scott! Suck my balls!" Howard then announced it as 130. Will pumped his fists: "Eat it! That's what's up!"
MEET VIVIAN VON QUEEF
Before he left, Will the Farter introduced Howard to his protege, Vivian Von Queef, who discovered she could queef at the age of 12 by blowing bubbles in the bathtub. Vivian promptly stripped down to her thong and boots and queefed along to Silent Night, with Will the Farter’s accompaniment. Howard sang modified lyrics: 'Sleep in heavenly queef!' Later, Vivian jumped on the Sybian, but it had no effect: "I think you're going to mess up my queefing. You're going to de-tune my instrument."
NATALIE NICE, MISS HOWARDTV DECEMBER
Natalie Nice, Miss HowardTV for the month of December, stopped by to meet Howard. Natalie said she posed naked and hooked up with other women on her Website: "One time on a shoot I double-fisted a girl. It was really disturbing." Before doing porn, Natalie worked as a 'personal banker'--and housewife: "We actually met in a political studies class...I always wanted to go to law school. When I'm done with the Website, maybe."
Natalie showed Howard the large birthmark she had near her genitals: "I call it my Cindy Crawford pussy. I have a little beauty mark next to my pussy...in pictures it really sets me apart." Natalie said her Website's subscribers are her birthmark’s biggest fans--though some just want abuse: "A lot of guys on cam like to be humiliated. They ask for it. A lot of guys like small penis humiliation."
Howard asked Natalie to give him an example of 'small penis humiliation,' so she told him he wasn't hung like a man: "I wouldn't even consider you a girl." Howard had his fill immediately: "Ok that's enough for me." Natalie then jumped on the Sybian and, with a little coaching from Gange, Gary and Will, reached climax: "Easy, tiger! That felt good! That was definitely shaking me."
Monday, November 15, 2010
Jay Z in Studio Howard Stern Show
Decoded
Like its multi-hyphenate author, Jay-Z, Decoded is many things at once. At its core, Decoded is an eloquent and candid memoir detailing the story of a man who was born in a Brooklyn housing project, spent his teen years dealing drugs on the streets of Trenton, New Jersey, and grew up to be one of his generation’s most successful artists and businessmen. But Decoded is much more than a memoir: it is an intensely personal homage to hip-hop, as written by a man who so clearly adores the art form; it is a rare glimpse of the unexpectedly deep meanings behind the most recognizable rap lyrics of the last decade; and it is a truly moving collection of essays on topics ranging from Hurricane Katrina to the decline of the music industry. Unconventional type design, line drawings, and photographs visually emphasize the author’s message that rap is a form that transcends and defies easy categorization. There’s not much in the way of celebrity gossip here, but what we get, instead, is a gritty and enormously compelling look inside the cultural phenomenon of rap, from one of the men who contributed so much to its shape. --Juliet Disparte
Jay-Z on Decoded
When you're famous and say you're writing a book, people assume that it's an autobiography--I was born here, raised there, suffered this, loved that, lost it all, got it back, the end. But that's not what this is. I've never been a linear thinker, which is something you can see in my rhymes. They follow the jumpy logic of poetry and emotion, not the straight line of careful prose. My book is like that, too.
Decoded is first and foremost, a book of rhymes, which is ironic because I don't actually write my rhymes--they come to me in my head and I record them. The book is packed with the stories from my life that are the foundation of my lyrics--stories about coming up in the streets of Brooklyn in the 80's and 90's, stories about becoming an artist and entrepreneur and discovering worlds that I never dreamed existed when I was a kid. But it always comes back to the rhymes. There's poetry in hip-hop lyrics--not just mine, but in the work of all the great hip-hop artists, from KRS-One and Rakim to Biggie and Pac to a hundred emcees on a hundred corners all over the world that you've never heard of. The magic of rap is in the way it can take the most specific experience, from individual lives in unlikely places, and turn them into art that can be embraced by the whole world. Decoded is a book about one of those specific lives--mine--and will show you how the things I've experienced and observed have made their way into the art I've created. It's also about how my work is sometimes not about my life at all, but about pushing the boundaries of what I can express through the poetry of rap--trying to use words to find fresh angles into emotions that we all share, which is the hidden mission in even the hardest hip-hop. Decoded is a book about some of my favorite songs--songs that I unpack and explain and surround with narratives about what inspired them--but behind the rhymes is the truest story of my life.
Like its multi-hyphenate author, Jay-Z, Decoded is many things at once. At its core, Decoded is an eloquent and candid memoir detailing the story of a man who was born in a Brooklyn housing project, spent his teen years dealing drugs on the streets of Trenton, New Jersey, and grew up to be one of his generation’s most successful artists and businessmen. But Decoded is much more than a memoir: it is an intensely personal homage to hip-hop, as written by a man who so clearly adores the art form; it is a rare glimpse of the unexpectedly deep meanings behind the most recognizable rap lyrics of the last decade; and it is a truly moving collection of essays on topics ranging from Hurricane Katrina to the decline of the music industry. Unconventional type design, line drawings, and photographs visually emphasize the author’s message that rap is a form that transcends and defies easy categorization. There’s not much in the way of celebrity gossip here, but what we get, instead, is a gritty and enormously compelling look inside the cultural phenomenon of rap, from one of the men who contributed so much to its shape. --Juliet Disparte Jay-Z on Decoded
When you're famous and say you're writing a book, people assume that it's an autobiography--I was born here, raised there, suffered this, loved that, lost it all, got it back, the end. But that's not what this is. I've never been a linear thinker, which is something you can see in my rhymes. They follow the jumpy logic of poetry and emotion, not the straight line of careful prose. My book is like that, too.
Decoded is first and foremost, a book of rhymes, which is ironic because I don't actually write my rhymes--they come to me in my head and I record them. The book is packed with the stories from my life that are the foundation of my lyrics--stories about coming up in the streets of Brooklyn in the 80's and 90's, stories about becoming an artist and entrepreneur and discovering worlds that I never dreamed existed when I was a kid. But it always comes back to the rhymes. There's poetry in hip-hop lyrics--not just mine, but in the work of all the great hip-hop artists, from KRS-One and Rakim to Biggie and Pac to a hundred emcees on a hundred corners all over the world that you've never heard of. The magic of rap is in the way it can take the most specific experience, from individual lives in unlikely places, and turn them into art that can be embraced by the whole world. Decoded is a book about one of those specific lives--mine--and will show you how the things I've experienced and observed have made their way into the art I've created. It's also about how my work is sometimes not about my life at all, but about pushing the boundaries of what I can express through the poetry of rap--trying to use words to find fresh angles into emotions that we all share, which is the hidden mission in even the hardest hip-hop. Decoded is a book about some of my favorite songs--songs that I unpack and explain and surround with narratives about what inspired them--but behind the rhymes is the truest story of my life.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
bye for now ? Eric The Midget
BYE FOR…EVER ERIC THE MIDGET
Howard got Eric the Midget on the line to sever his ties, as Eric has begun making threats in an effort to get his IQ test results early: "You can have the results. You're no longer on the show. And I'm not kidding this time. I'm done with you." Howard couldn't understand what Eric didn't understand, as the IQ test bit was costly--and was done on the show just a couple months ago: "This bit cost us a lot of money...I went out of my way."
Robin was happy that Howard had finally stood up to the tiny tyrant: "I'm glad you're eyes are finally open." Howard asked Eric to say his final words: "I'm done. Ok? So let's say our goodbyes." Eric insisted he was in the right, as the show has never addressed him as Eric the Actor: "If you f’ers--if your audience wants me to start respecting you, you need to start respecting me...I hate all of you. Go to hell."
TRACY MORGAN IN STUDIO
I Am the New Black
TRACY MORGAN IS TENDER
Tracy Morgan stopped by to promote his new HBO special, 'Black & Blue,' and told the crew about his affinity for passionate sex: "You call it tender dick. When a female gets your emotions in it. Once they get you to say 'I love you'? Oh! You got tender dick, son." Tracy said his large brood was proof: "I'm gonna get you pregnant and I'm old school. I don't be pulling out. When I come in, I come in. Three fingers past the knuckle."
Howard asked about Tracy's most recent appearance on Letterman, saying he thought Dave was a little condescending--but Tracy disagreed: "No, I don't think Dave is like that towards me. Because when the camera's off, that's my dude. I lead him down that road. On camera he's my man too. I don't think he's condescending to me. I think I'm playing it like that. You can look at it one of two ways."
TRACY'S FUTURE WIFE IS PREGNANT
Tracy revealed that his girlfriend Tanisha was 4 months pregnant, but their relationship was still a little rocky: "That's a lot for her...the spotlight is not for everybody [but] she's still around me, man. She's still with me." Tracy said reports about his alleged infidelity made things especially difficult: "When you f’ with Tracy Morgan, there's a lot of rumors out there." What's more, Tracy doesn't want to stray: "I'm chillin'! I surrender!"
Howard wondered if Tracy was really committed to Tanisha if he couldn't even remember where she went to college, but Tracy thought he'd more than proved his commitment--with his wallet: "I paid for the shit. I put her through college. I got the teeth fixed and everything." Tracy said he planned to marry her: "It was beauty that killed the f’ing beast…but nobody else better not call her beast. I'm beautiful like a motherf’er."
'YOUR ASS WAS MADE RIGHT HERE'
Tracy told Howard about his father's time in Vietnam: "My father went AWOL twice. The first time my brother was conceived. The second time I was conceived. My father showed them. He went AWOL and got some pussy." Years later, Tracy's father took him on a long walk in East New York: "He took me to this school--underneath the bleachers--and he said, 'Your ass was made right here. On the spot. Alright? Doggystyle. Her ass was facing this way'...my father was real. My father went into detail."
TRACY ON HIS FAME, DICK & LEGACY
Tracy later took caller questions and said fame meant most when he gets props at his corner bodega: "When you get credit at the deli in your neighborhood? You good." On his package: "My dick head is bulbous. My dick head is shaped like a Darth Vader helmet." On the messiness of displacement during sex: "That's when it's good. When you get that discharge on there." On his legacy: "I'm a voice for a whole generation.
Howard got Eric the Midget on the line to sever his ties, as Eric has begun making threats in an effort to get his IQ test results early: "You can have the results. You're no longer on the show. And I'm not kidding this time. I'm done with you." Howard couldn't understand what Eric didn't understand, as the IQ test bit was costly--and was done on the show just a couple months ago: "This bit cost us a lot of money...I went out of my way."
Robin was happy that Howard had finally stood up to the tiny tyrant: "I'm glad you're eyes are finally open." Howard asked Eric to say his final words: "I'm done. Ok? So let's say our goodbyes." Eric insisted he was in the right, as the show has never addressed him as Eric the Actor: "If you f’ers--if your audience wants me to start respecting you, you need to start respecting me...I hate all of you. Go to hell."
TRACY MORGAN IN STUDIO
I Am the New Black
TRACY MORGAN IS TENDER
Tracy Morgan stopped by to promote his new HBO special, 'Black & Blue,' and told the crew about his affinity for passionate sex: "You call it tender dick. When a female gets your emotions in it. Once they get you to say 'I love you'? Oh! You got tender dick, son." Tracy said his large brood was proof: "I'm gonna get you pregnant and I'm old school. I don't be pulling out. When I come in, I come in. Three fingers past the knuckle."
Howard asked about Tracy's most recent appearance on Letterman, saying he thought Dave was a little condescending--but Tracy disagreed: "No, I don't think Dave is like that towards me. Because when the camera's off, that's my dude. I lead him down that road. On camera he's my man too. I don't think he's condescending to me. I think I'm playing it like that. You can look at it one of two ways."
TRACY'S FUTURE WIFE IS PREGNANT
Tracy revealed that his girlfriend Tanisha was 4 months pregnant, but their relationship was still a little rocky: "That's a lot for her...the spotlight is not for everybody [but] she's still around me, man. She's still with me." Tracy said reports about his alleged infidelity made things especially difficult: "When you f’ with Tracy Morgan, there's a lot of rumors out there." What's more, Tracy doesn't want to stray: "I'm chillin'! I surrender!"
Howard wondered if Tracy was really committed to Tanisha if he couldn't even remember where she went to college, but Tracy thought he'd more than proved his commitment--with his wallet: "I paid for the shit. I put her through college. I got the teeth fixed and everything." Tracy said he planned to marry her: "It was beauty that killed the f’ing beast…but nobody else better not call her beast. I'm beautiful like a motherf’er."
'YOUR ASS WAS MADE RIGHT HERE'
Tracy told Howard about his father's time in Vietnam: "My father went AWOL twice. The first time my brother was conceived. The second time I was conceived. My father showed them. He went AWOL and got some pussy." Years later, Tracy's father took him on a long walk in East New York: "He took me to this school--underneath the bleachers--and he said, 'Your ass was made right here. On the spot. Alright? Doggystyle. Her ass was facing this way'...my father was real. My father went into detail."
TRACY ON HIS FAME, DICK & LEGACY
Tracy later took caller questions and said fame meant most when he gets props at his corner bodega: "When you get credit at the deli in your neighborhood? You good." On his package: "My dick head is bulbous. My dick head is shaped like a Darth Vader helmet." On the messiness of displacement during sex: "That's when it's good. When you get that discharge on there." On his legacy: "I'm a voice for a whole generation.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
New Jersey Shore - Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino ( MTV ) visits Howard Stern
DON'T TOUCH THE SITUATION'S HAIR
Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino stopped by to promote his new book, 'Here's the Situation,' and immediately complained that Gary had messed up his hair while putting on his headphones: "Gary had no regard...he didn't even care! There is a correct way to put on the headphones and he mushed me pretty much." (That was mushed, not smooshed.)
DESTINED TO BE THE SITUATION
Howard asked about Mike's pre-MTV life, so Mike explained that he'd started working out at 16 ("For chicks.") and was employed as a mortgage broker before landing his 'Jersey Shore' gig: "Until the market crashed and I had no job." After losing his job, Mike moved back in with his parents: "No money. Down on my luck. Unemployment. The whole 9." He turned to Jersey Shore (Group, GTL) TV Poster Print - 24x36
modeling to make ends meet--and was 'discovered' soon after: "I did underwear modeling for 2 weeks and got noticed for TV."
Howard asked Mike how he dealt with gays in the modeling world, so Mike shrugged that it was weird when they'd ask to 'adjust' him in his underwear--so he'd just brush them off and handle things on his own: "It doesn't bother me one bit. I got mass appeal, I guess." Mike said he'd been comforted by a sense of destiny: "There was a voice in my head that said something was out there."
PROTEIN VODKA?!
While he was in studio, Mike repeatedly worked in plugs for his vodka company, Devotion, which sells "the first protein-infused vodka on the planet." Robin didn't understand the point: "Why would you infuse protein into vodka?" The Situation just laughed: "Why wouldn't you?"
IT'S HARD OUT THERE FOR A PIMP
Mike told the crew his newfound fame was making it hard to find a good girl: "You're target almost sometimes 'cause, you know, you're doing very well for yourself...it's getting hard for me to find a real relationship." Mike said he'd like to be in a committed relationship ("To share all these experiences I'm having.") but he only meets fame-hungry girls these days: "A good indicator is when she starts to brag about all the other famous people she's met.” Mike said it had gotten to the point that he had to have 24x7 security and he has them hold onto the cellphones of the girls he does hook-up with just make sure no photos get taken.
JD DOES NOT WANT TO BE SITUATED
Here's the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on theJersey Shore
Howard introduced Mike to JD, a staffer with a nickname of his own: "Did you ever hear of a guy on the Internet called Da Badass?" JD said he was irritated by Mike, as he was famous for dubious reasons: "I'm sorry I didn't think to trademark DTF." Mike offered JD some advice: "I think he should just be positive and have a positive outlook...when you are hating on people, you forget about your own goals."
Mike said he'd like to help JD turn around his look: "I would like to Situate you." JD dismissed the idea: "I don't want to be Situated. Let me be bitter and angry." Mike said he was serious ("I can actually turn him into a pimp.") but Howard doubted his ability to turn JD around, saying he spoke from experience: "I thought I could too but it's impossible." Asked for a summarized plan, Mike said he'd take JD and "shave him down, tan him up...he's gotta get different clothes, some jewelry.
Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino stopped by to promote his new book, 'Here's the Situation,' and immediately complained that Gary had messed up his hair while putting on his headphones: "Gary had no regard...he didn't even care! There is a correct way to put on the headphones and he mushed me pretty much." (That was mushed, not smooshed.)
DESTINED TO BE THE SITUATION
Howard asked about Mike's pre-MTV life, so Mike explained that he'd started working out at 16 ("For chicks.") and was employed as a mortgage broker before landing his 'Jersey Shore' gig: "Until the market crashed and I had no job." After losing his job, Mike moved back in with his parents: "No money. Down on my luck. Unemployment. The whole 9." He turned to Jersey Shore (Group, GTL) TV Poster Print - 24x36
modeling to make ends meet--and was 'discovered' soon after: "I did underwear modeling for 2 weeks and got noticed for TV." Howard asked Mike how he dealt with gays in the modeling world, so Mike shrugged that it was weird when they'd ask to 'adjust' him in his underwear--so he'd just brush them off and handle things on his own: "It doesn't bother me one bit. I got mass appeal, I guess." Mike said he'd been comforted by a sense of destiny: "There was a voice in my head that said something was out there."
PROTEIN VODKA?!
While he was in studio, Mike repeatedly worked in plugs for his vodka company, Devotion, which sells "the first protein-infused vodka on the planet." Robin didn't understand the point: "Why would you infuse protein into vodka?" The Situation just laughed: "Why wouldn't you?"
IT'S HARD OUT THERE FOR A PIMP
Mike told the crew his newfound fame was making it hard to find a good girl: "You're target almost sometimes 'cause, you know, you're doing very well for yourself...it's getting hard for me to find a real relationship." Mike said he'd like to be in a committed relationship ("To share all these experiences I'm having.") but he only meets fame-hungry girls these days: "A good indicator is when she starts to brag about all the other famous people she's met.” Mike said it had gotten to the point that he had to have 24x7 security and he has them hold onto the cellphones of the girls he does hook-up with just make sure no photos get taken.
JD DOES NOT WANT TO BE SITUATED
Here's the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on theJersey Shore
Howard introduced Mike to JD, a staffer with a nickname of his own: "Did you ever hear of a guy on the Internet called Da Badass?" JD said he was irritated by Mike, as he was famous for dubious reasons: "I'm sorry I didn't think to trademark DTF." Mike offered JD some advice: "I think he should just be positive and have a positive outlook...when you are hating on people, you forget about your own goals."
Mike said he'd like to help JD turn around his look: "I would like to Situate you." JD dismissed the idea: "I don't want to be Situated. Let me be bitter and angry." Mike said he was serious ("I can actually turn him into a pimp.") but Howard doubted his ability to turn JD around, saying he spoke from experience: "I thought I could too but it's impossible." Asked for a summarized plan, Mike said he'd take JD and "shave him down, tan him up...he's gotta get different clothes, some jewelry.
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