SARAH SILVERMAN VISTITS HOWARD STERN

SARAH SILVERMAN CAN'T WIN

Sarah Silverman stopped by to promote her new book, 'Bedwetter,' but first had to answer Howard's questions about her weight loss: "I'm making an effort! I have a calorie counter." Howard read a few excerpts from recent interview in which Sarah said the following: "The guy I'm dating now, who's awesome, is not my typical fare. He's really skinny." Sarah said the innocent quote was twisted to look like a swipe at her ex, ABC late night host Jimmy Kimmel: "So then they go, 'Oh, she's calling Jimmy fat'...everything nice I say, they turned it into me slamming Jimmy, which--why would I ever do that?"

Sarah continued to complain about the media's obsession with her long-over relationship: "I have nothing but kind feelings for Jimmy...no matter how safe I play it when I answer questions, it gets twisted into something that is a story for the writer. And then--but so the only thing I can do is go like, 'I'm not going to talk about that.' And then I'm like, that's so lame…I'm a f’ing comedian…to say I'm not going to talk about that? It's dumb."

SARAH IN THE BEDROOM & AT THE BANK

Howard tried to investigate the sex Sarah enjoyed with her new man, but Sarah only offered a glimpse: "Everyone likes a little--a little smack on the tush." Sarah also joked that they were into racially-motivated roleplay: "We, like, say the N-word a whole bunch."

Howard noted that Sarah had sold her new book for $2.5 million, but Sarah claimed she still hadn't cashed in: "I am the poorest--in the ratio of non-scandal celebrity, I have the least amount of money to the most amount of fame...I'm a quality of life person. I like to do the stuff I like to do. I'd rather make an Internet video on my couch for free than be Jennifer Lopez's friend in a movie."

ON HER BIGGEST FAILURES

Sarah told the crew she recently came across her old SNL sketch proposals and reconciled with the cast members who had marginalized her efforts: "I realized why. Cause I saved them all these years. They were terrible...maybe I wasn't cynical enough at that point. I wrote real earnest stuff."

Sarah also claimed she didn't 'bomb' at the TED Talks conference, challenging the event's curator, Chris Anderson, to share her speech online: "The guy won't post it. He posted all of the [other] talks but he won't post mine." Sarah said she'd admit if she bombed--but she killed: "I always say when I bomb. I still bomb all the time."