JESSE VENTURA AVOIDS THE
TV TRAP
Former Minnesota
Governor Jesse 'The Body' Ventura stopped by to promote his new book,
'American Conspiracies,' and told the crew he didn't have a TV in his
Baja home: "It kind of traps you. You become so addicted to it you can't
go a day without looking at it." Jesse said he recently made an
exception: "I did drive to a friend’s house to watch the Super Bowl.
Football don't count."
Jesse continued to extoll the virtues of his life in Mexico: "There are
no newspapers down where I live. Where I live, I'm an hour from pavement
and an hour from electricity..I'm completely off the grid." Jesse
explained that he uses generators and solar panels for the little
electricity he and his wife required.
JESSE ON THE ISSUES, MYSTERIES
Jesse then held court on a variety of topics, starting
with gays in the military ("How dare us not allow gay people to serve
their country. This is not the Hetero States of America. This is the
United States of America." Jesse joked that he'd have appreciated more
gays in Vietnam, as it would've meant less competition for the whores in
Saigon: "Hell, bring those gay guys in!"
Jesse also indulged in his favorite subject: American
conspiracies/mysteries. He first claimed Nixon was set up to be a fall
guy with Watergate ("It's all documented."), then explained why he
believed the 'second shooter' Kennedy assassination theory ("The key is
the bullet that missed."). He later speculated on McCain's reason for
picking Sarah Palin as his running mate: '[He] said, 'We'll get someone
prettier than Hilary...with bigger tits than Hilary.'"
A REAL MYSTERY: THE NEW WACHOWSKI
BROS. MOVIE
Jesse told the crew he
recently filmed a scene for the new Wachowski brother movie: "Except
they're not brothers anymore. One of them went from Larry to Lana."
Howard asked how Lana looked, so Jesse shrugged: "He looks feminine but
he's not a pretty woman." Jesse said his scene had no script--but
required a day's-worth of hair (long, multi-colored dreadlocks) and
make-up: "They put almost like a third eye in the middle of my
forehead."
Jesse reported that his scene took place 100 years in the future, but he
was asked to comment--in his heavily-accessorized character--on the
2010-era situation in the Middle East: "I got to vent." Instead of a
script, Jesse was interviewed off-camera by 'Lana' Wachowski for the
scene, leading Howard to wonder if Jesse could ever have any desire for a
transsexual. Jesse recoiled: "No. How could a man be that hot?"
JESSE JUSTIFIES HIS 'SEAL' DROPS
When Howard revealed
the crew's bet on the number of times Jesse would say 'Seals,' Jesse
said he referred to that time in his life often: "When I start feeling
sorry for myself or get depressed, I always think back to BUDS training
or Hell Week and all that and I go, 'What the hell have you got to be
depressed about?'"howardstern.com
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