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Tuesday, April 28, 2009
POISONED BY THE JOKE MAN Jackie 'The Joke Man' Martling stopped by to promote his "Joke Man on Broadway" stage show and said he'd recently made an unsuccessful attempt to connect with Artie: "Everybody says he's in bad shape so I wanted to sit down with him and tell him that ever since I stopped drinking I've been doing great." Howard laughed that, while Jackie had stopped drinking, he still smoked a lot of pot: "I need you talking to Artie like a hold in the head." Artie claimed he'd called Jackie back - but Howard intervened to question Jackie's motives: "Artie doesn't mean anything to you other than that he sits in that chair...you will poison Artie and then I'll have a mess on my hands." Later, Artie said he actually had called Jackie back - it was Jackie who stopped phoning. Jackie confirmed the story ("I didn't want to bother you."), adding that he wasn't interested in poisoning anyone now that he's living the good life with a twenty-something girlfriend: "Honest to God, I can't remember the last time I masturbated." howard stern.com
Labels: Jackie The Joke Man
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Beyonce Board Mix Of If I Were A Boy (Howard Stern). Clip from The Howard Stern Show & The Today Show. No copyright infringement is intended. All Rights go to their respectable owners Beyonce Amazed By Hacked Vocals Prank Posted Thu Apr 23, 2009 9:47am PDT by Billy Johnson, Jr. in Hip-Hop Media Training I never run out of Beyonce jokes. But I honestly never have anything bad to say about her singing. I think she has one of the nicest voices in pop music today. Yes, she over sings a lot, just like Mariah, Christina and Whitney. Well, Whitney, before all the...you know. But Beyonce is a legitimate talent. So when I heard about the Howard Stern segment Tuesday that suggested that Beyonce's unedited vocals from a Today Show performance last November sounded like garbage, I was suspicious. When listening to the clip of Beyonce singing "If I Were A Boy," I heard cracked notes and other examples of vocal struggling that sounded embarrassing. But the track also felt digitally altered, and I'm not talking about good Auto-Tune, if there is such a thing. Wednesday, E! News revealed that the entire story was a hoax and even found the person who edited the track to sound as if Beyonce could not sing. A sourced named Matt from an upstart blog admitted that the Beyonce vocals were a joke. "Yes I created them, and they are fake," he told E! News. Thursday, Beyonce also confirmed the scam to Today Show host Matt Lauer. "It's so amazing that someone in their home can do a little prank and it can end up on these major radio stations," Beyonce told Lauer. She added that she had not heard the track but was surprised by the attention it has caused. "How could you believe that? I heard it was really over the top." While Beyonce laughed about the ordeal, Matthew Knowles, her manager and father, was furious. When TMZ contacted him about the incident he replied in a fiery statement. The gossip blog described Papa Knowles' statement as the best they have ever seen and I agree. Knowles called an idiot anyone who ever doubted his daughter's singing ability. "If no one took the time to look at the biggest inauguration in the history of America then shame on them," Knowles quipped to TMZ. "If no one took the time to listen to Beyonce sing 'America The Beautiful' and 'At Last' at the Neighborhood Ball for the first dance of President Obama and the First Lady, and they question Beyonce's vocal ability, they've gotta be an idiot,'" Knowles added. "That would be like questioning if Kobe Bryant could shoot a jump shot. The vocals were obviously altered." While there are other examples that Knowles could have used to illustrate his daughter's skills, I'm glad he used this one. I haven't heard it mentioned since Etta James wigged out about Beyonce singing her song. Now, I just need to get Etta James' number so that I can call her and get her all riled up again. LOL. yahoo.com
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
BLUE IRIS, WE SPEAK YOUR NAME Lisa G reported that aged porn star-turned-Wackpacker Blue Iris has suffered a heart attack and was currently on life support. Howard asked if Blue was really gone, and Lisa explained that while she was being kept life support, her doctors claim she has no cognition left in her brain. Howard said Blue was 62 and would be missed dearly: "Blue Iris, we speak your name." howardstern.com
Labels: Blue Iris
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
RICHARD'S FATAL PUSS WOUND Howard told Richard that he got an email from a listener who feared he could have a potentially-fatal MRSA staph infection: "Look at that thing, see how it's getting a ring around it?" Gary noted that puss came out of Richard's wound for four days before he began treating it. Later, Dr. Jules came by to examine Richard and determined that he really could have MRSA: "It's not a big thing, but he's gotta keep it covered...he needs to be on antibiotic pills."
Monday, April 20, 2009
MISS HOWARDTV IS A "MASSEUSE GIRL" The latest Miss HowardTV, Becky Wunder, stopped by and told the crew she worked as a "masseuse girl" at Rick's Caberet, meaning she does not disrobe - she wears a minidress and rubs you down (but not down there). Artie took one look at her ass and became despondent: "I gotta get outta here." Howard laughed that HowardTV's Mike Gange was so in love with Becky, he'd been hanging around her more than necessary. Ronnie came in to report that Gange had also arranged a video shoot with Becky at Rick's last Friday - and then bought her dinner. Gange came in to say he was just doing his job, but Howard was doubtful, saying Gange should just ask her out directly: "I mean, [otherwise] he becomes a friend. Right, Becky?" THIS IS HOW IT'S DONE, ROBIN After hearing the new Black Eyed Peas single, Howard invited Becky back to the studio to show Robin how the strippers dance at Rick's
Labels: Miss Howard TV
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
RICHARD TAKES A LOAD ON HIS BACK Howard learned that Richard had offered to blow a guy if the show would book "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane, so Richard came in to say he was exaggerating: "Can't I just drink my own pee." Howard thought it would be better if Richard agreed to let a man blow a load on his back. Richard asked Robin for advice: "What's it feel like Robin? What if he shoots ropes and it gets all in my hair and stuff?" After a little debate, Richard agreed to let porn star Nick Manning drop a load on his back in a nearby hotel room: "Seth MacFarlane, I'm doing this for you, buddy." Later, Richard decided that he'd feel safer if his partner, Sal, were the load-dropper. Howard asked if it would be too weird for Richard to take a moneyshot from his comedy partner, but Richard didn't think so: "I'll be face down." Sal, on the other hand, was not wild about the idea.came in to complain that "Family Guy" creator Seth MacFarlane was booked before he promised to take a load on his back: "I'm very gullible." Howard admitted that Seth was booked - but unless Richard goes through with the stunt, Seth will be turned away at the door. Sal followed Richard in to say a Howardstern.com poll proved that he wasn't the fan's choice to the load-dropper to Richard's load-dropee: "Technically I lost the poll...52% don't want me to do it." Howard didn't care what the poll indicated or what Sal wanted and instructed him to go through with the stunt anyway. Sal tried a different tack, speculating that he wouldn't be able to get hard with dudes all around him. Gary came in to remind Sal how often he'd encouraged others to be a "team player," so Sal said he'd think about it. Richard also offered to let Sal use his MyView glasses so his field of vision would be filled with his favorite porn during the stunt.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
FLO RIDA RETURNS IN A BLIZZARD LOOK AT THAT ASS, HOWARD Rapper Flo Rida and his buddy, 4Mill, stopped by perform his latest #1 single, "Round and Round," and told Howard he made music for "the hot sexy ladies with the bottoms." Flo Rida said "Round and Round" wasn't - like Howard thought - about oral sex, but rather stripper poles. Flo Rida then ushered two strippers, Ebony and Yasmin, into the studio to dance during his performance. Flo said he chose the girls for their particular talents: "Turn around. Look at that ass, Howard." Howard was blown away: "You could hurt me with that thing." FLO RIDA PERFORMS "ROUND AND ROUND" Before his performance, Flo Rida pulled out a bag of $10,000 in singles and handed out wads to Howard and the crew. Flo told them to make it rain - or as he calls it now, snow. Flo then performed "Round and Round" as Howard and Artie threw cash around the studio and the strippers booty-clapped. When they were through, Howard laughed that Benjy took his pants off during the song. Benjy explained: "I wanted to make it rain."