America's Got Talent Audition

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Howard Stern AGT commercial

HOWARD STERN: Miss HTV Of The Year 2011 Aspen Rae talks about webcam mod...

HOWARD STERN: video Ronnie The Limo Driver scores a '0 of out 100' on the ugly...

Beth stern approved picture by howard

Joe - creator of the Ugly Meter App - on air now. He'll run the staff through his app

Joe - creator of the Ugly Meter App - on air now. He'll run the staff through his app

Ronnie got the lowest score 0

Howard got 34

howard 100 News: Backstage aftermath of the Ugly Meter app. http://bit.ly/GNSldc

Debbie the pet lady visitshoward 1 last time ?

THE FINAL APPEARANCE OF DEBBIE THE PET LADY

Debbie the Amazing Pet Lady stopped by for (what she claimed was) her final appearance on the show: “I’m not going to get too friendly with you because I’m here to tell you off whether you like it or not.” Debbie’s voice gradually rose to her trademark screech: “It’s a sad day because you f***ed my life up! … Your mortherf***ing show ruined my f***ing ass and you’re going to f***ing hear about it today!”

In her calmer moments, Howard was able to ask Debbie about her history of violent crime (“I stabbed a man, yes.”) and jail time: “The guards ain’t shit, man. And then when you f’ with those guards, that’s--they’re the corrupt ones. … I used to fight with those guards.” She fought so often, they started to catch on: “They stuck me in a psychiatric ward in the prison.” On her way out, Debbie bid Howard goodbye with a gift--an eagle figurine: “You’re supposed to be the King of all Media. Fly like an eagle

by howardstern.com

It's bracket time! Join my Yahoo! Sports NCAA Tournament Pick'em group, "Howard Stern Wack Packers" http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1/group/131710/invitation?key=d5f3983ea9292726

It's bracket time! Join my Yahoo! Sports Tournament Pick'em group, "Howard Stern Wack Packers" http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1/group/131710/invitation?key=d5f3983ea9292726

Howard Cleans up w/ Matt Paxton

MATT PAXTON CLEANS UP MATT PAXTON, “HOARDERS” CLEAN-UP GUY Hazardous waste removal expert Matt Paxton called in to promote the season finale of “Hoarders”: “I’m the guy who cleans up all the dead cats and poop.” How much poop? Up to 45,000 pounds in one house: “Usually it starts in the bathroom. The toilet gets full, then the bathtub gets full, then the hallway gets full, then the living room gets full...the plumbing has been gone for years by the time I get there.” Ronnie the Limo Driver said he’d dealt with Matt’s kind when cleaning out his late mother’s apartment: “You know those junk trucks that come? You hire them to come. Three trucks.” Ronnie said he also cleaned out his mom’s place when she was still alive, but she’d freaked when she got home. Matt replied that she was no exception--the cleaning process is hard on his clients: “It’s hell for them.” THERE’S MONEY UNDER THAT POOP Matt said he often finds money: he once found $13,000 in change in a woman’s Oakland apartment. It was all inside an 8-foot rat’s nest, apparently bills are the only paper rats won’t shred. Another time, he came across $45,000 in US Savings Bonds--bonds his client thought were trash: “She didn’t know what she had. We had to explain to her the difference between maturity and expiration...and this lady thought she had nothing.” WHY EX-CONS “GET” HOARDERS Matt said he staffed his business with former addicts, like himself, and parolees, as they seem to understand the clients: “You gotta have someone who’s been knocked down--who gets the mental state. And so, for me, I prefer ex-cons or recovering addicts.” The crew makes $15,000 a job and thoroughly enjoys their work: “We’re all recovering addicts, so we need something nasty to get us off...when you hit rock bottom yourself, you kind of have to laugh to get out of it.” Matt said he’s rarely contacted by the hoarders themselves (“Usually it’s someone who loves them.”), so he handles them with kid gloves: “They don’t want to be judged. They don’t want to be made fun of. And believe it or not, that stuff protects them.” They’ve often been sick for a long time: “You can’t be a good hoarder overnight. It takes 10, 15, 20 years.” THEY’LL CLEAN ANY THING BUT KIDDIE PORN Asked about his worst client, Matt said he’d once been called by the family of a hospitalized man and went out to clean his estate: “The deeper we got, we started finding some Polaroids, some really aggressive stuff, and it was all child pornography.” Matt turned him in and the guy, when he recovered, was was sent to jail. But when he was released, he just filled his house with junk again--and called Matt: “And we had just sent the guy to jail for 3 years! I told him to f’ off.” THE FANTOM STINKER STRIKES AGAIN ANOTHER BATHROOM-GATE Howard said someone had dropped a horrible smelling deuce in the staff bathroom after Wednesday’s show--and asked that it stop: “The little bathroom should just be for peeing and washing up. Not shitting. … The little bathroom that we built is right here in the hall.” Robin said she’d suffered firsthand: “I’ve run into a bomb in there.” Gary came in with the key-card logs: “It was either Jason or Scott the Engineer.” Gary read that he’d entered the bathroom at 11:32 and Benjy at 11:30: “I came in a minute and 40 seconds after Benjy.” Both caught the stench. Before Benjy, the only suspects were Jason 11:27 and Scott the Engineer at 11:19: “So that would’ve given him 8 minutes to shit. My bet would be him.” JASON OR SCOTT? YOU DECIDE Jason couldn’t remember if he was guilty--but doubted he could do the deed in less than 3 minutes: “I’ve shit in the bathroom before. I have zero idea. I shit in there all the time!” Scott also denied all charges: “I’m not gonna swear on my son’s life but I’ll swear on my life.” Howard reserved his doubts, so Scott promised to never be under suspicion again: “I will not shit, on a show day, in that bathroom.” THE CRAIGSLIST CONQUEROR CALLS IN AARON SMITH, CRAIGSLIST PLAYER Aaron Smith called in to promote his book, “The Secrets of the Craigslist Conqueror,” saying it detailed his success at picking up girls on Craigslist. Aaron explained that he had never really been a ladies man: “Never been called that in my life. I’m fat, I’m bald. I actually look like JD.” He had difficulty getting laid in college--and well after--until he began experimenting with Craigslist personal ads: “I found the wilder I went, the better I did.” Asked to explain, Aaron said he trolled the site with ads appealing to very specific scenarios: “One of them is called ‘You Dirty Worthless Whore.’ ... The key to everything I found was wrapping a woman in her fantasy from the very first word [and] talking to her directly, as if she’s right in front of me.” His formula has netted him 120 women in 18 months: “I was offering to be a dom for a woman who wanted to be a sub. I had ads--a lot of ads were for a lot of role-playing. Daddy for daughter, teacher for bad student...” THE RULES OF CRAIGSLIST SEX Aaron said it was important to calmly and firmly break with the fantasy if a girl needs reassurance. More so, it’s imperative that any pictures you send are recent and/or representative: “When she shows up at your door, you have to look like the guy in the picture.” And third: some ads aren’t too good to be true--the hottest girl he’d ever banged posted an ad titled College Girl Wants To Lose Her Anal Virginity: “How could I not respond to that? ... We had dorm sex. It was the best thing ever. She was, without question, a ten.” Howard wondered if JD could benefit from Aaron’s tutelage, so JD came in to insist he was a lost cause: “I’ve actually tried this before. Before I started working here.” Benjy said Aaron’s methods were solid--they’d worked for him: “You can get laid at any moment--any day--you want by a really hot chick...it’s all niche marketing.” JD didn’t care: “I just want to be left alone.” by howardstern.com

HOWARD STERN: Who on the staff stunk up the Stern Show bathroom?

21 Jump Street's @jonahhill in studio now talking about why he did the movie, his weight loss and his oscar nomination

21 Jump Street's @jonahhill in studio now talking about why he did the movie, his weight loss and his oscar nomination.
Jonah Hill says he imagines Lindsay Lohan will be an easy act to follow when he hosts Saturday Night Live this week .........

Jonah Hill

I wanted to start an official Twitter page to communicate with the awesome people who are interested in communicating with me. That means you, mom.

http://www.facebook.com/jonahhill

Project X Movie MARTY THE LITTLE PERSON KLEBBA help JD ?

MARTY THE LITTLE PERSON KLEBBA

THE RETURN OF MARTY THE...
Marty Klebba returned to catch up with Howard and promote his latest film, “Project X.” But first he explained that he had dropped his old moniker, Marty The Midget, because he felt, like Eric The Actor, that the M-word was the equivalent of the N-word. Marty denied--despite his role in three of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movies--that he was now a millionaire: “I got paid, for each movie, a certain amount and then you get residuals...but then they start to fall off.” So he tries to make the most of each gig: “It’s always in my contract: I do all my own stunts...there isn’t another little guy built like me.” In “Project X,” said clause had him stuffed into an oven and driving a Mercedes into a pool: “It’s like the best high school party you’ve ever seen.”


MARTY’S LOVE MATCHES, TALL AND SMALL
Asked about his ex, Marty remembered the 3’6” woman fondly: “She was the most hottest little person I’d ever seen.” But sex with her, despite their proportional compatibility, was unusual: “It’s still weird when you’re with a little person. You know, usually, when a girls knees are at your shoulders, it’s her toes.” Now he’s got a normal-sized wife, 26 year old Michelle, who stands at 5’8”: “I could just watch her sleep, and [be] like, ‘How lucky am I?’”

Marty said he met Michelle through her college roommate, a little person, and would do anything to please her: “I’ll hang from my toes as long as I’m making her happy.” Howard looked at a picture of Michelle and marveled that, while beautiful, she didn’t seem much taller: “You can handle her, huh? How come she’s the same size as you?” Marty laughed: “She’s sitting down.”


CAN MARTY SAVE JD?
Since Marty’s been successful in life and love, Howard introduced him to JD and pressed for advice. Marty thought JD should start at the top: “Wash that hair...[and] dude, you gotta walk in with confidence.” JD said confidence was hard to build in this environment: “I don’t know, maybe because of shit like this? I get insulted every time I walk in--I walk in to a room.” As JD stormed out, Marty also pointed at his gut: “You’re not going to be here when you’re 40 if you keep eating like that.” Robin thought JD was a lost cause: “He seems to be upset about everything we say in this regard.”

by howardstern.com