JOAN & MELISSA RIVERS STOP BY
JOAN & MELISSA RIVERS RETURN
Joan and Melissa Rivers stopped by to promote the new season of “Joan Knows Best,” but Howard was more interested in Melissa’s porn kingpin boyfriend, Vivid CEO Steven Hirsch. Melissa said Steven kept his business separate from his personal life (“He’s very normal.”), but their relationship has generated several sex tape offers from rival porn companies: “I don’t want it.”
Howard noted that Joan often stays with Melissa when she’s in LA--Joan doesn’t keep a place of her own in California--and asked if her visits were ever a burden. Melissa laughed: “Uh, can I have a sip of coffee? No, she’s not a burden...maybe a little burden.” How little depends on the length of Joan’s stay: “Two days a week it would ideal. Four it gets to be a little close quarters.”
DON’T SOLICIT FROM THE KITCHEN
Howard asked about Melissa’s most recent ex, so she recounted how he left his laptop open in the kitchen--when she bumped it, she saw an inbox full of Ashley Madison replies and emails “soliciting” women on Craigslist: “I learned it had been going on for quite a long time.” She called him immediately and called it off. And not a second too soon--the emails leaked just hours later: “The next day, I started getting calls from tabloids. … It was much easier explaining what he did to [her son] Cooper than why.”
PUT ON MAKE-UP AND DON’T EAT
Asked if it was difficult growing up in full view of her mother’s infamously-harsh critical eye, Melissa said Joan has always been on her back: “She still is.” Joan confirmed as much: “Every phone call I end with, ‘Put on make-up.’” Melissa nodded: “And ‘Don’t eat.’”
ON JUDGE JUDY & CHELSEA HANDLER
Howard asked Joan if it was horrible to go on vacation with Cindy Adams and Judge Judy (“I can’t think of a worse time.”), but Joan denied it, encouraging everyone to visit Williamsburg, VA: “I had the best time.” Still, Joan admitted she was jealous of Judy’s wealth: “It burns my ass because I never syndicated anything.” But Judy’s a friend. Chelsea Handler? Not so much: “The girl made it on her back, f***ing the president...we all know how she got there...whatever. But don’t you come after me. You whore.”
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Howard noted that Joan often stays with Melissa when she’s in LA--Joan doesn’t keep a place of her own in California--and asked if her visits were ever a burden. Melissa laughed: “Uh, can I have a sip of coffee? No, she’s not a burden...maybe a little burden.” How little depends on the length of Joan’s stay: “Two days a week it would ideal. Four it gets to be a little close quarters.”
DON’T SOLICIT FROM THE KITCHEN
Howard asked about Melissa’s most recent ex, so she recounted how he left his laptop open in the kitchen--when she bumped it, she saw an inbox full of Ashley Madison replies and emails “soliciting” women on Craigslist: “I learned it had been going on for quite a long time.” She called him immediately and called it off. And not a second too soon--the emails leaked just hours later: “The next day, I started getting calls from tabloids. … It was much easier explaining what he did to [her son] Cooper than why.”
PUT ON MAKE-UP AND DON’T EAT
Asked if it was difficult growing up in full view of her mother’s infamously-harsh critical eye, Melissa said Joan has always been on her back: “She still is.” Joan confirmed as much: “Every phone call I end with, ‘Put on make-up.’” Melissa nodded: “And ‘Don’t eat.’”
ON JUDGE JUDY & CHELSEA HANDLER
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by howard stern.com
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