Howard started off the show welcoming George Takei back to the show--George will be sitting in all week--and noted that George might have brought bedbugs with him. George said he and Brad recently returned to their New York apartment and discovered tell-tale bites the next morning. Surprisingly, they haven’t moved out while waiting for the exterminator to clean their apartment. Howard was shocked: “With the bedbugs?” George nodded: “With the bedbugs.”
George said an exterminator came in with a bedbug-sniffing beagle last Friday and found bugs on their bed and couch--but not their luggage: “We got it from the theater. Theater seats.” Howard fumed that Tim Sabean hadn’t been able to find a beagle to check George when he came in this morning: “We almost told you not to come in because we thought you were going to carry the bugs in here.”
A STRIP SEARCH FOR GEORGE
Later, Gary said he could have a bedbug beagle in the studio by 10, so Howard told George he’d have to strip down: “You can leave your underwear on.” George just laughed: “You’ll find every way to get people to take their clothes off.” Howard said he was serious--the dog really can’t check clothes on your person: “You smell too much. They don’t smell people, they smell objects.”
LANGFORD INVESTIGATES WILL MURRAY
Howard welcomed Steve Langford to the studio and asked Will to join them: “There are several sources who say you cheated on the IQ test.” Steve said several sources were telling him so: “Did you get some of the questions or part of the test ahead of time?” Will said he’d simply researched the test’s format: “I said to myself, is there any way I can, like, practice for it [or] figure out what the format of the test is?”
Will said the preparation was simple: “If you Google the test name, the whole test format will come up.” Of the samples Will saw, he only gleaned the test’s format: “None of the answers were on there...I never saw the actual questions.” But he did know a few answers: “I did get a couple of answers from people who work here in the back office and were yapping about it after the first round of tests.
THE TRUTH IS SOMEWHERE
Steve remained vigilant: “The truth is somewhere and we’re looking for it. Our sources claim that you had assistance from a professor.” Will threw his hands up: “Can we just say my IQ is 90 and get it over with?” Steve continued: “One of our sources...calls it cheating.” Howard thought a cheater would have done much better than Will’s score of 130: “If you cheated, you should’ve gotten a 180.”
Will insisted he didn’t do anything wrong--it’d be too hard: “Let’s say they gave me all the answers. This is a two-hour test. With thousands of questions on it. The fact that I could memorize the test...” George was impressed with Steve’s rigorous line of questioning: “I feel like I’m sitting in on the McCarthy hearings.” Howard said he believed Will’s story: “Will’s test scores stand.”
Christmas in Harmony
HOWARD DOESN’T GET OPRAH
Howard wondered why Oprah had made the Kennedy Center Honors list: “I just don’t get it. I know she’s beloved. I know she’s had a successful television career.” Howard went over the Kennedy Center’s Website and couldn’t figure out what she was being honored for: “They don’t even have anything next to Oprah to indicate why she got it.” Robin didn’t understand how Oprah would be observed: “They sing Paul [McCartney]’s songs. What do they do about Oprah?”
Christmas in Harmony
THE APPLE DEAL SOUNDS GOOD
Howard addressed rumors that he’d been negotiating with Apple, laughing that the reported 3-year/$600 million contract would be hard to turn down: “This one sounds like a pretty good deal, actually.” Howard said he kept asking himself three questions: “Where is the place that’s going to allow us to grow the most? Where can we be the most successful? And where is the future of radio?” But really: “We’re just looking for a place that doesn’t have bedbugs.”
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