“BANG MY DAD” NOT LIFE-CHANGING
Desi and Elly Foxx stopped by again to update Howard on their rendezvous with “Bang My Dad” winner Matt. Matt followed them in with his daughters, Jennifer and Jackie, and was more energetic than yesterday: "Hey! How are you?!" Jennifer and Jackie reported that they waited in the hotel lobby while their dad disappeared upstairs with Desi and Elly: "We had Dennis [Hof] and Ron Jeremy to keep us company."
Howard also got Dorothy, Matt's wife, on the line to ask how she felt about Matt's date. Dorothy was unfazed: "I felt he was in safe hands, Howard...we're best friends. I think that when you love someone and set them free, they'll come back." Howard wondered if the experience might destroy any intimacy left between the two, but Dorothy denied it: "No. Like I said, our kids are grown...we're just moving to a different point in our lives. I think Matt knows that at the end of the day - no matter what happens - we're still going to be together."
AN INTENSE 30 MINUTES
Elly told the crew that she and Desi threw Matt down on the bed: "We found out Matt likes to spank." Matt's daughters laughed that they already knew that: "We have a small house."
Elly said she deep-throated Matt - a skill Desi couldn't match: "We had a little contest. She won." Eventually, Desi finished him off doggy-style: "He kinda did go, 'Yee-ha!' It didn't last too long. It was kind of intense. 30 minutes."
HIS WIFE COULDN'T CARE LESS
Dorothy wasn't upset with Matt: "I'm not angry at all. I wouldn't have gone through with this if I was mad at him." Jennifer and Jackie revealed they set their dad up to get back at their "unemotional" mom: "Not so much revenge, more like to reward my dad for putting up with her. She can be difficult at times." Dorothy explained that her steely attitude was a necessity: "Matt goes out and Matt goes to work. Matt does not take care of what goes on at the house, that’s mom’s job...and that's ok." THE REV. BOB LEVY ON “THE SHOWER INCIDENT”
The Rev. Bob Levy stopped by to promote some upcoming standup shows and Howard asked him to explain the story Yucko the Clown recently told on the show about Bob taking a shit in a motel shower: "What am I gonna do? Get out and dry off and take a shit?" Howard thought the answer was obvious: "Of course." Bob disputed Yucko's claim that he'd encountered remnants when he tried to use the shower after him: "Nobody seen the shit. I got it all down [the drain], believe me."
Bob also reached out to Yucko, offering to take part in a benefit show: "If he wants to stay off the road and get his head together, I'll do the benefit." Bob added that he was trying to turn over a new leaf of his own: "I stopped drinking Saturday."
BOB'S PILL FUELED ROAD LIFE
Howard wondered how Bob's new marriage was going, so Bob laughed that it was doing a lot better than his first, as he cheated on his first wife the day after their wedding: "I told Florentine, 'This is the one for me,' and the next thing I know we drive to South Carolina and I'm being blown by a stripper."
Shuli came in to tell some crazy stories about Bob on the road, like the time he popped 6 Klonopin pills and threw a chair at a promoter and used to play the comically-bad “The Greatest American Hero” theme song to amp up for his set. Bob explained: "I had problems back then...taking every pill in my pocket."
A SPEECH TEST FOR THE REV.
Howard tried to get Bob to say a few easily-mispronounced words, like “apocalyptic,” and Bob bombed it, spitting out odd variations like “apocalippy” and “apopopable.” After Bob had similar luck with “Guantanamo,” Howard asked what his particular brain malfunction was called. Shuli joked: "It's called 'no diploma.'" Bob's wife, Christine, then stopped by to pull Bob out of the studio, reporting, as they left, that her marriage was going great: "Tomorrow is a year."
WHICH STAFFER LOOKS BEST SHIRTLESS?
Frequent caller, Johnboy, called in with an unusual and creepy request, he wanted to see who looked best with their shirt off, and, after a lot of resistance, the crew eventually broke down.
Richard was creepily complementary to Artie ("Look at how gorgeous you look.") and Fred ("Wow. Look at Fred. Fred looks amazing.").
Fred laughed at Sal's little-girl boobs: "He looks like the cover of the Blind Faith album." Richard was also impressed with Howard: "You have a nice chest, Howard. How many people wouldn't want to feel Howard Stern's chest?"
Sal was disgusted with the whole scene: "Benjy's tits go around to his back!" JD and Jason then came in to show off their doughy physiques.
Richard laughed at JD's "Body by Burger King" and said Jason's body hair made him look like a fat Wolfman.
After surveying everyone, Robin declared Fred the winner, citing his "upper body development." Richard still wasn't finished: "Can we see whose chest looks best covered in baby oil?"
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