Bam"s Best Friend Novack Tosses Richards Salad !

NOVAK TOSSES RICHARD’S SALAD Novak told the crew that he'd do pretty much anything for cash - even gay sex acts: "I'll take one pump for $250." Howard decided that Novak should lick Richard's taint, so Richard came in and dropped trou’ ("I'm worried.") and Novak spat out his gum, setting his own agenda: "C'mere, gimme that asshole!" Everyone screamed their reaction as Brandon tongued Richard, who resisted until Brandon told him to submit: "Don't make this rape turn into a murder, boy!" After the tongue lashing, Richard said it felt like "someone shoving a wet piece of toilet paper up my bunghole." NOVAK WILL DO (ALMOST) ANYTHING FOR $ Gary then came in to say Sal had a big juicy hemorrhoid and might let Novak lick it. Sal disputed the story, saying he'd only do the stunt if the prize money was sweetened: "If you make it a grand, I'll do it." Sal then turned around and bent over to show the crew what they were paying for. Howard was disgusted by "something hanging there," and Artie thought it looked like Sal was shitting out an eyeball. Even Novak refused to suck the inflamed 'rhoid and Howard thanked him, remarking that he was scared of the health risks involved. A BAM STYLE THREESOME: TWO GUYS, ONE CHICK Bam noted that he once tried to have a threesome with Missy and another guy (the lead singer of the rock group H.I.M.), but Missy had turned them down. Bam admitted that it would've been a little awkward - in the morning: "It would've been fun, but the next day when I woke up..." Missy agreed, saying she didn't even consider it. Howard then plugged HowardTV's "The Most Outrageous Stern Show Moments of 2008," which will be hosted by Bam, and declared that Novak tonguing Richard's butthole was sure to be number one. howardstern.com

Miss Howard TV - Megan ( November )

Hey Now !?

Howard Stern & John Stamos

JOHN STAMOS IN STUDIO JOHN STAMOS IS A GOOD TIME John Stamos stopped by to promote his new Lifetime movie, "The Two Mr. Kissels," and bragged about running into the beautiful Natalie Portman on a hike the other day. Howard speculated that John was already banging her: "The minute after John meets these girls, he's banging them." John said he was a one woman guy these days, adding that his girlfriend, Leah, is a big fan: "She likes you...I have a great picture of her in your shower. I'll show you. Just her butt. It's really cute." John noted that the picture was taken when he and Leah hung with Howard and Beth during their "honeymoon" at their Hamptons home. Doug Goodstein came in to say his wife was blown away by John's "aura" at Howard's wedding, so John apologized: "Sorry, Doug…Give me your wife's number." John and Howard talked a little about how some of the wedding guests went outside to smoke pot during the wedding and Howard recalled that the last time he smoked pot, he was with John at Mr. Chow's in LA: "I didn't like it. And then what's-his-name drove the wrong way down the street because the paparazzi were chasing us." John laughed that "what's-his-name" was Rick Rubin. HE’S NOT A DOCTOR, BUT HE PLAYS ONE ON TV John took issue with Robin for never thanking him after he donated two personal tours of the "E.R." set to her Girls Night Out charity, and Robin apologized: "I feel bad." Howard asked if it was true that John had turned down a spin-off featuring his "E.R." character, and John said it had been discussed but never developed. Howard wondered if anything had developed between John and Victoria's Secret model Emma Heming, so John said: "That was fast. That was just a transitional, uh...she's with Bruce Willis now." howardstern.com

Ham Hands Visits Howard Stern

HAM HANDS BILL! Ham Hands Bill stopped to promote his "I Want To Be the Next Howard Stern" test show (tonight on Howard 101 at 7pm ET) and told the crew that even he couldn't believe some of the things he said in his demo: "This is a contest...and I wanted to explore it." Howard asked if Ham Hands' perversions were caused by his injury, and Ham Hands' admitted they might be: "It was an accident and it affected my whole right side. It was a head injury." Ham Hands also said it could be due to the rough neighborhood he grew up in: "There were prostitutes and drugs...You [had] to defend your friends and fight for yourself." Howard asked what Ham Hands planned on doing for tonight's show, so Ham Hands said he was going to reveal something about himself: "Something I didn't even know...sometimes I surprise myself. It became a big deal to me once I found out about it. It's a big deal to me. I don't know if it'll be a big deal to you." Howard speculated that Ham Hands might beat off during tonight's show, and Ham Hands admitted he might: "I don't know. If Robin calls."

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sAL tALKS Obama"s Policies

SAL FIGHTS TO UNDERSTAND On Wednesday's Wrap-Up Show, Jon Hein celebrated Obama's victory by asking Sala few political questions. Sal admitted he was confused about many issues, including: when Obama's presidency will actually begin, practical timelines for Obama's policies and why change can't happen overnight. Jon tried to answer Sal's questions, but Sal went into what Gary's calls "Stockbroker mode" and began yelling that the staff was brainwashed. Gary asked Sal to swear on his family that he voted for Obama, but Sal refused, as he doesn't believe in swearing on his family. Sal said he did vote for Obama - and no one else, explaining (in increasing volume) that all politicians are liars. Sal added that he was trying to read the paper to become more aware of the political climate, but the show always mocks these attempts instead of allowing him to work through his confusion. SAL FINDS HIS POINT Sal's confusion began to leak through in his language: he started saying "republic" instead of Republican and "abzerd" instead of absurd. Eventually Sal stumbled on a legitimate point where he'd done some firsthand research, remarking that when he interviewed Harlem residents about Obama's "conservative policies" (he'd switched them with McCain's) and they all agreed with Obama, he learned that black people were only voting along racial lines. Is Sal Right or Wrong ?? HOWARDSTERN.COM

Eric The Midget Visit The Howard Stern Show For The First Time !

ERIC MEETS DIANA DEGARMO Howard triumphantly welcomed Eric's favorite American Idol contestant, Diana DeGarmo into the studio! Artie was stunned: "Is that really her?" Howard asked Diana if Eric's constant calls to her mom's home scared her, and Diana explained: "Calling my mother's house was interesting, but my number was unlisted - and hers is no longer...It's a little weird to have someone you've never met before call the house." Eric then asked Diana if she'd like to "continue seeing-meeting with each other" and she replied, "Yeah, at the shows." Robin told Diana that Eric wanted to see her more than just at her concerts, but Artie thought Eric would have a better chance of f’ing Ruben Studdard. Diana agreed, saying her boyfriend would have a problem with that. KURT ANGLE MAKES A GREAT WINGMAN TNA wrestler Kurt Angle also stopped by to say hi to Eric and said that Howard inspired his move to help build TNA into the WWE's main professional wrestling competitor: "It's been a growing experience and it's getting bigger and better." Kurt then told Eric not to blow his big chance to profess his love to Diana: "You have to ask her. You have to have the balls to ask her...I'm gonna make you an honorary member of The Main Event Mafia and as an honorary member, you have to go for the 'P.'" Eric eventually broke down and turned to Diana: "I was wondering, the next time you're out in California, would you like to meet for dinner?" Diana said she'd think about it: "That's not a no! If I do, I'll hit you up on MySpace." Kurt was bummed and offered Eric something better: "You know what? You can f’ me." Eric refused: "No. You're a guy." Natalie Maines then asked the Bunny Ranch girls how long they were with Eric, and they reported that the love-making session lasted two hours. howardstern.com

CRAPTACULAR Was the Shit ??

THE Craptacular'S FINAL MOMENTS Howard started off the show checking in with Joey Boots and High Pitch Erik, as the Craptacular was set to conclude in less than an hour. Shuli was on the scene and reported that High Pitch had crapped 10 oz. in the last 23 hours, and Joey had pulled ahead with 1lb 7oz.. Artie had money on the contest and began yelling at Erik: "You suck Erik! You can't even shit good!" High Pitch said his stomach was killing him and promised that he'd stay on the pot - and it paid off: he churned out another 12oz of diarrhea for a tie! A half hour later Erik shat again, putting himself ahead with a total of 1lb 10oz. In the last minute, Joey and Erik got into a shit-off, in which Joey pulled even at 1lb 10oz. Erik stole it in the final seconds, however, crapping a 24-hour total of 2lbs. Erik promised to split his winnings with Joey, and Artie got in the spirit as well, splitting the money he won off the contest ($200 each from Howard and Robin, who both bet on Joey) between the two contestants. howardstern.com