HOWARD stern COLONOSCOPY

HOWARD'S COLONOSCOPY

Howard reported that he'd gotten a colonoscopy over the break and really panicked beforehand, following the pre-procedure instructions to the finest detail. Howard said he had to buy a 64oz bottle of Gatorade and empty 14 servings of MiraLAX into it--and drink it all the night before: "Every 15mins you drink 8oz of this concoction. It took me an hour and a half." And the mixture worked: "I run upstairs. Holy cow. I start pissing water out my asshole."

The next day, at the doctor's office, Howard was still suffering the effects and had to use the office restroom: "A public bathroom! I said, 'Oh my God, this is my worst nightmare.' I gotta sit in a public bathroom and squirt water out my ass." Howard said an anesthesiologist knocked him out for the procedure, so it ended up being pretty easy--something he noted in his planner so he wouldn't panic before his next one.howarstern.com

TARYN THOMAS - “Jersey Shore XXX”

TARYN THOMAS HAD AN ANAL ACCIDENT Taryn Thomas, the porn star who plays “Snooki” in the “Jersey Shore XXX” parody, stopped by to tell the crew about her 2-year absence from porn "because of my meltdown and stuff." Taryn told the crew her meltdown followed an incident in which her intestines were "torn open" while filming an anal scene: "There was lube but it was KY jelly, and if you know anything about KY, it burns...so we used spit." Taryn's recovery put her out of work: "I took a break until the end of May...damage was done to my ass so bad it hurt my well-being." Howard asked if she could've just done vaginal sex scenes instead, but Taryn shrugged: "What I'm known for in the business when people wanna hire me is for taking it up my ass." Taryn added that she gained almost 60lbs during her time away: "I did probably indulge in maybe one too many cheeseburgers...ultimately I was depressed." BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN joked that the porn star who ripped Taryn's bowels must have been proud of himself: "I've never hurt a woman with my penis. I've tried. It just doesn't work." Robin asked if she'd had to have her anus reconstructed, and Taryn nodded: "For the most part." Taryn said she'd since recovered and was back to filming anal scenes once again--news that overjoyed Howard: "Now that's the happy ending!" Taryn laughed that her doctor had no idea what he was working toward: "He said I could do anal again but I don't think he knew I'd be taking two dicks up my ass." Now she takes a number of steps to prepare for anal scenes, including laxatives, "cleaning out" with a custom colonic hose attachment in her shower and the propper lube: "I swear by Eros lube." Taryn added that she rarely did anal off set, but enjoys it more, as she doesn't have to prepare as thoroughly: "I just let it fly."

TRACEY MILLMAN rips apart Scott Salam !

TRACEY MILLMAN DESTROYS SCOTT SALEM Howard played a clip from yesterday's Tracey Millman Show in which Tracey claimed that Scott The Engineer didn't work hard for his money. In another clip, Scott called into Tracey's show to defend himself: "I work hard. I get there at 3:30." Tracey just laughed: "Doing what? F’ing up the microphones?" Scott claimed he personally checked all the in-studio equipment, but Tracey knew better: "No, your intern does that. He's the one who goes in [and] makes sure everything is together." Tracey also mocked Scott's level of responsibility: "When you had sur--your hernia surgery a couple years ago and you recommended an ex-intern to fill in for you, what do you think--what do you think that said about you?" After hearing the clips, Howard wondered how Scott (who is known for his temper) was able to remain so calm and Scott explained: "I refuse to go to a place that's gonna get me crazy...it's my new me." Howard laughed: "What are you, a Buddhist?" Scott showed signs of his irritable 'old me': "Yeah, ok, I bitch and moan. I'm trying to get better at that too." howardstern.com

THE TIGER WOODS MISTRESS BEAUTY PAGEANT SHOW, will air live on March 10, 2010 !

THE TIGER WOODS MISTRESS BEAUTY PAGEANTTiger's Got Wood dvd....

Howard announced that they had found a sponsor willing to put up the $100,000 prize for the Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant. He went on to explain that any of the women who've slept with Tiger Woods are welcome to enter. The crew debated how to judge the women--Howard eventually decided that he wanted to get each woman in a bathing suit and ask them about their night(s) with Tiger.