HAM HANDS BILL!
Ham Hands Bill stopped to promote his "I Want To Be the Next Howard Stern" test show (tonight on Howard 101 at 7pm ET) and told the crew that even he couldn't believe some of the things he said in his demo: "This is a contest...and I wanted to explore it." Howard asked if Ham Hands' perversions were caused by his injury, and Ham Hands' admitted they might be: "It was an accident and it affected my whole right side. It was a head injury." Ham Hands also said it could be due to the rough neighborhood he grew up in: "There were prostitutes and drugs...You [had] to defend your friends and fight for yourself."
Howard asked what Ham Hands planned on doing for tonight's show, so Ham Hands said he was going to reveal something about himself: "Something I didn't even know...sometimes I surprise myself. It became a big deal to me once I found out about it. It's a big deal to me. I don't know if it'll be a big deal to you." Howard speculated that Ham Hands might beat off during tonight's show, and Ham Hands admitted he might: "I don't know. If Robin calls."
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SAL FIGHTS TO UNDERSTAND
On Wednesday's Wrap-Up Show, Jon Hein celebrated Obama's victory by asking Sala few political questions. Sal admitted he was confused about many issues, including: when Obama's presidency will actually begin, practical timelines for Obama's policies and why change can't happen overnight. Jon tried to answer Sal's questions, but Sal went into what Gary's calls "Stockbroker mode" and began yelling that the staff was brainwashed.
Gary asked Sal to swear on his family that he voted for Obama, but Sal refused, as he doesn't believe in swearing on his family. Sal said he did vote for Obama - and no one else, explaining (in increasing volume) that all politicians are liars. Sal added that he was trying to read the paper to become more aware of the political climate, but the show always mocks these attempts instead of allowing him to work through his confusion.
SAL FINDS HIS POINT
Sal's confusion began to leak through in his language: he started saying "republic" instead of Republican and "abzerd" instead of absurd. Eventually Sal stumbled on a legitimate point where he'd done some firsthand research, remarking that when he interviewed Harlem residents about Obama's "conservative policies" (he'd switched them with McCain's) and they all agreed with Obama, he learned that black people were only voting along racial lines.
Is Sal Right or Wrong ??
HOWARDSTERN.COM
ERIC MEETS DIANA DEGARMO
Howard triumphantly welcomed Eric's favorite American Idol contestant, Diana DeGarmo into the studio! Artie was stunned: "Is that really her?" Howard asked Diana if Eric's constant calls to her mom's home scared her, and Diana explained: "Calling my mother's house was interesting, but my number was unlisted - and hers is no longer...It's a little weird to have someone you've never met before call the house."
Eric then asked Diana if she'd like to "continue seeing-meeting with each other" and she replied, "Yeah, at the shows."
Robin told Diana that Eric wanted to see her more than just at her concerts,
but Artie thought Eric would have a better chance of f’ing Ruben Studdard. Diana agreed, saying her boyfriend would have a problem with that.
KURT ANGLE MAKES A GREAT WINGMAN
TNA wrestler Kurt Angle also stopped by to say hi to Eric and said that Howard inspired his move to help build TNA into the WWE's main professional wrestling competitor: "It's been a growing experience and it's getting bigger and better."
Kurt then told Eric not to blow his big chance to profess his love to Diana: "You have to ask her. You have to have the balls to ask her...I'm gonna make you an honorary member of The Main Event Mafia and as an honorary member, you have to go for the 'P.'"
Eric eventually broke down and turned to Diana: "I was wondering, the next time you're out in California, would you like to meet for dinner?" Diana said she'd think about it: "That's not a no! If I do, I'll hit you up on MySpace." Kurt was bummed and offered Eric something better: "You know what? You can f’ me." Eric refused: "No. You're a guy." Natalie Maines then asked the Bunny Ranch girls how long they were with Eric, and they reported that the love-making session lasted two hours.
howardstern.com
THE Craptacular'S FINAL MOMENTS
Howard started off the show checking in with Joey Boots and High Pitch Erik, as the Craptacular was set to conclude in less than an hour. Shuli was on the scene and reported that High Pitch had crapped 10 oz. in the last 23 hours, and Joey had pulled ahead with 1lb 7oz.. Artie had money on the contest and began yelling at Erik: "You suck Erik! You can't even shit good!"
High Pitch said his stomach was killing him and promised that he'd stay on the pot - and it paid off: he churned out another 12oz of diarrhea for a tie! A half hour later Erik shat again, putting himself ahead with a total of 1lb 10oz.
In the last minute, Joey and Erik got into a shit-off, in which Joey pulled even at 1lb 10oz. Erik stole it in the final seconds, however, crapping a 24-hour total of 2lbs.
Erik promised to split his winnings with Joey, and Artie got in the spirit as well, splitting the money he won off the contest ($200 each from Howard and Robin, who both bet on Joey) between the two contestants.
howardstern.com
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