NICK CANNON IS A FAKE
After hearing that Nick Cannon had reacted to comments made on yesterday’s show via Twitter (“Shut your old ass up! LOL”), Howard napalmed the kid, repeating that the ‘I’m giving out my home phone number’ bit was a tired--and obviously fake--bit: “First of all, I’m not that old in that I still do a relevant show. I still sound pretty good. Secondly, I’ve been around radio long enough to know when something’s bullshit.”
Howard continued: “I’ve beaten every guy you’re trying to beat now. I’ve been number one in every market. Use your f’ing head. You’re not getting any ratings. Your station’s in the toilet. When I open my mouth, you should sit quietly and listen to the criticism.” Howard said Artie had once done the same bit--with one big difference: “He was real...it was insane.”
NOT THAT ANYONE’S EVEN LISTENING
Howard thought Nick was cynically underestimating his audience: “You don’t go on there and pretend that you’re giving out your phone number. Because you sound crazy. Everyone gets that you’re not giving out the real number...it’s not a good bit. It doesn’t feel real to me.” Howard went on to mock Nick’s numbers: “What have you done in radio? Nothing...you’re getting your ass kicked...when he beats Elvis Duran, I’ll shut up.”
CAN ANYONE HELP LYNN SAMUELS?
Howard listened to a clip from The Lynn Samuels Show in which Lynn demanded--between gaps in the audio--that Sirius XM lackeys fix the poor audio quality of her show: “You know you’re in trouble when you’re going to Jake or Dave Gorab...whoever that is.”
In the clip, Lynn fumed: “This is unconscionable! Does this shit go on with Rosie O’Donnell?” Howard answered: “Well, yeah, ‘cause she’s Rosie O’Donnell. That’s how it works around here...they’ll get around to it when they can. In the meantime, sit quietly.” Robin laughed: “Just put something in the suggestion box.”
howardstern.com
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Robin Visits Peru ... Listen free here howard stern show
Travel Peru 2011 Illustrated Guide, Phrasebook & Maps. Includes Lima, Cuzco, Machu Picchu, Arequipa, Ica and more. Bonus: FREE Sudoku Puzzles & a complimentary novel (Mobi Travel)
Robin said she’d gone a big trip as well--to a spartan retreat in Peru: “I went to a retreat in the Sacred Valley and I had to stay in silence the whole time. I was hardly talking. And, like I said, sleeping on a mattress on the floor.” After Robin revealed that she’d also taken a high-powered hallucinogen known as ahuascAya, Howard wondered what was really going on. Robin insisted it was an innocent experiment (“It’s a tea! It’s a plant!”) but Howard thought she’d found a gateway--to drugs: “Marijuana is a plant.”
Robin confessed that she drank the Ayahuasca to learn more about herself: “I had been suffering from some depression lately.” The tea was administered by a professional--a man Robin called Master: “He’s a master. He’s revered there.” Howard thought the reverence of the locals should be taken with a grain of salt: “Master hasn’t shit in [real] plumbing his whole life.”
SHE TRIPPED THREE TIMES
Late at night, Master read Robin’s future by scattering coca leaves and, as she chewed one of said leaves, began brewing the trippy tea: “You have to wear a lot of clothes because you get cold when you takePeru
Ayahuasca...they brew it on the full moon.” It took two full doses to trigger the drug--and, with it, Robin’s stomach: “10 minutes later, I’m as sick as a dog. I start throwing up so violently that I start farting.” After you throw up, you lay down: “And you start to have visions...I started to see all of the misery of the world, and Howard, I cried. Probably for about four hours. Non-stop. I mean, like, weeping.” Robin ended up drinking Ayahuasca tea three times--it was only on the third trip that “I got beyond colors and really started to have an incredible conversation with myself...I learned that life was great except for all the stuff that sucks.”
“THE STUFF THAT SUCKS”
After Robin cited the “stuff that sucks” as society and its expectations, Howard told her to come to him before engaging in narco-tourism next time--he could’ve told her the same in seconds: “You’re officially out of your mind...the body isn’t meant to vomit like that.” Robin said she’d accomplished what she set out to do, but Howard thought she’d only managed to generate fodder for the show: “This sounds a lot like when you were in the witches coven.”
See Howard Stern and Beth O at the Hollywood wedding
Howard Stern and wife Beth Ostrosky Stern found themselves mingling with Hollywood royalty including Jennifer Lopez, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and Jack Nicholson at last weekend's wedding of Paramount Pictures CEO Brad Grey and Cassandra Huysentruyt.
<---See photos of Howard Stern and Beth O at the Brad Grey wedding in the slideshow
Beth O looked gorgeous in spite of her metallic gray strapless dress that may or may not have been made of industrial strength Hefty bags. Howard Stern wore a smart looking suit, sunglasses and social anxiety
Howard Stern and Beth O at the Hollywood wedding of the year -
Apple iPad 2 MC769LL/A Tablet (16GB, Wifi, Black) NEWEST MODEL
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Howard stern & David Arquette watch Will the farter live video
Will The Farter stinks up the studio with his nasty blasts that grossed out Howard Stern and guest David Arquette. Will also performed some special tricks using his unique farting talent that can only be seen on Howard TV
Monday, April 11, 2011
Here is one of George Takei's messed up feet. Both of his feet look the same
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
JESSE VENTURA visits howard stern
JESSE VENTURA WAS GROPED
Former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura stopped by to promote his new book, ‘63 Documents the Government Doesn’t Want You to Read,’ and told the crew his publisher had to fly him in on a private jet because of his lawsuit against the TSA: “I have metal in my body. So when I pass through the metal detector, I could go through it naked and it’s going to go off.” Given this, Jesse has to either submit to a body scan or a full body search. Jesse complained that the searches were a violation (It’s a sexual assault...they grope your genitals.) of his constitutional rights: “I’m tired of having to prove I’m innocent.”
THE BODY TENDS HIS BACKYARD
American Conspiracies: Lies, Lies, and More Dirty Lies that the Government Tells Us
Jesse told the crew that while wintering in Mexico, he didn’t hear about the Japanese disaster and the recent US bombings in Libya until 5 days afterward (“I go to town once a week.”) but still hoped we tended to our own problems first: “How do you go out and tell the world what to do when your own backyard ain’t cleaned up?” Jesse thought our Globe Cop-status would eventually backfire: “I’m waiting for one of these countries to bring the landing craft...the only way to get our country back is to destroy these two parties [Democrats and Republicans].” 63 Documents the Government Doesn't Want You to Read
Former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura stopped by to promote his new book, ‘63 Documents the Government Doesn’t Want You to Read,’ and told the crew his publisher had to fly him in on a private jet because of his lawsuit against the TSA: “I have metal in my body. So when I pass through the metal detector, I could go through it naked and it’s going to go off.” Given this, Jesse has to either submit to a body scan or a full body search. Jesse complained that the searches were a violation (It’s a sexual assault...they grope your genitals.) of his constitutional rights: “I’m tired of having to prove I’m innocent.”
THE BODY TENDS HIS BACKYARD
American Conspiracies: Lies, Lies, and More Dirty Lies that the Government Tells Us
Jesse told the crew that while wintering in Mexico, he didn’t hear about the Japanese disaster and the recent US bombings in Libya until 5 days afterward (“I go to town once a week.”) but still hoped we tended to our own problems first: “How do you go out and tell the world what to do when your own backyard ain’t cleaned up?” Jesse thought our Globe Cop-status would eventually backfire: “I’m waiting for one of these countries to bring the landing craft...the only way to get our country back is to destroy these two parties [Democrats and Republicans].” 63 Documents the Government Doesn't Want You to Read
Monday, April 4, 2011
Chris Rock On broadway ?
A PAGE FROM HIS JOKE BOOK
Chris Rock - Bigger and Blacker
Cheese & Crackers: Greatest Bits
The Chris Rock Show - Seasons 1 & 2
Roll With the New
Howard wondered how long it took Chris to get comfortable ‘muscling an audience,’ and Chris levelled with him: “Honestly? About 10 years.” Chris said he almost had no choice: “I had nothing else I could do...I wanted to be a writer, to tell you the truth, but I had no idea how to get into writing.” Chris said it was still hard work: “A breath could make something not funny. Just breathing in when you should be breathing out.”
Howard asked what Chris would do if he lost a joke book, so Chris laughed that no one would know what it was: “If you found it, you would think I couldn’t read.” Chris pulled one such book out of his pocket and said most of the notes inside were simple observations--not yet fully-formed jokes. For example, Chris read one about the disparate women in his life, listing his mother, his wife and his young daughters: “When they don’t get what they want, they sound exactly the same.”
howardstern.com
Chris Rock - Bigger and Blacker
Cheese & Crackers: Greatest Bits
The Chris Rock Show - Seasons 1 & 2
Roll With the New
Howard wondered how long it took Chris to get comfortable ‘muscling an audience,’ and Chris levelled with him: “Honestly? About 10 years.” Chris said he almost had no choice: “I had nothing else I could do...I wanted to be a writer, to tell you the truth, but I had no idea how to get into writing.” Chris said it was still hard work: “A breath could make something not funny. Just breathing in when you should be breathing out.”
Howard asked what Chris would do if he lost a joke book, so Chris laughed that no one would know what it was: “If you found it, you would think I couldn’t read.” Chris pulled one such book out of his pocket and said most of the notes inside were simple observations--not yet fully-formed jokes. For example, Chris read one about the disparate women in his life, listing his mother, his wife and his young daughters: “When they don’t get what they want, they sound exactly the same.”
howardstern.com
GEORGE TAKEI is back
GEORGE TAKEI IS IMAGINATIVE
At the top of the show, Howard announced that George Takei would be sitting in all week and immediately began investigating any recent changes to George’s sex life. George admitted that he wasn’t happy with his partner Brad’s physique: “I use a lot of imagination...because I’m a visual as well as tactile guy.” George said he tried to focus on the more toned parts of Brad’s body: “I search for the musculature.”
Asked if he’d ever considered cheating on Brad, George confessed that he had, but would never act on it: “I’ve been tempted many times...but when you really love someone, you think of hurting them.” George said the propositions he’d gotten from forward and “very young” Star Trek fans were the most tempting: “Some of these guys are really cheeky.”
AN ENTIRE STAFF OF MOOCHERS
After hearing that Richard Christy planned to ask George to officiate at his wedding, Howard demanded that the staff stop abusing the show’s relationships: “Can we just leave the guests alone?” Richard came in to ask George anyway: “There’s zero pressure.” George said he’d be at the wedding--but couldn’t commit to being in the wedding, as he had other plans that week: “I won’t be able to do it because I’ll be [visiting] here for a workshop and working on that.” howardstern.com
At the top of the show, Howard announced that George Takei would be sitting in all week and immediately began investigating any recent changes to George’s sex life. George admitted that he wasn’t happy with his partner Brad’s physique: “I use a lot of imagination...because I’m a visual as well as tactile guy.” George said he tried to focus on the more toned parts of Brad’s body: “I search for the musculature.”
Asked if he’d ever considered cheating on Brad, George confessed that he had, but would never act on it: “I’ve been tempted many times...but when you really love someone, you think of hurting them.” George said the propositions he’d gotten from forward and “very young” Star Trek fans were the most tempting: “Some of these guys are really cheeky.”
AN ENTIRE STAFF OF MOOCHERS
After hearing that Richard Christy planned to ask George to officiate at his wedding, Howard demanded that the staff stop abusing the show’s relationships: “Can we just leave the guests alone?” Richard came in to ask George anyway: “There’s zero pressure.” George said he’d be at the wedding--but couldn’t commit to being in the wedding, as he had other plans that week: “I won’t be able to do it because I’ll be [visiting] here for a workshop and working on that.” howardstern.com
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