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Sunday, August 15, 2010

DAVID ARQUETTE IS LATE to the howard stern show & Riley Martin talks money



David Arquette showed up--a day late--and explained his absence yesterday as the start of a 2-day bender: "I drank last night [too]. I still might have some [laughs]...maybe a little remnants." David said he'd crashed a rooftop poker game Tuesday night ("That's the truth.") and quickly blew his $20 buy-in. Howard complained that one of the guys David met at the poker game had shown up on Wednesday--David invited him--but David did not: "All of a sudden this cat is hanging out in my greenroom [and] blogging about it."

Howard also complained that he'd been talking to (and 'vibing' with) Courteney at Jimmy Kimmel's party--until David cut in. David laughed: "I did. I shut that shit down...she loved you. She wanted to get to know you more. She wanted to hang out more." Howard speculated that Courteney had once slept with one of the party's other guests--John Stamos--and David admitted that it could've happened: "Everything he touches turns to pussy."


Howard asked if Alexis Arquette, David's brother-turned-sister, had ever had 'her' penis surgically removed, so David shrugged: "I don't know. I haven't tried to f’ her in a long time." David said Alexis' current incarnation was ironic, as 'she' actually slept in a closet when they were growing up.


Howard asked about Alyssa Milano, so David confessed that their relationship ended badly: "Even though I was being a dick, I didn't want her to be with anybody else...I started stalking her. Not--not really. Ok, I sat outside her house a couple nights." David went so far as to kick a dent in her new boyfriend's car and got himself banned from visiting

Howard said Riley Martin contacted him over the break and asked him to approve a set of new contract demands: "He wants to know if he has my support in his negotiations. You're so funny, Riley." Riley--on the line from home--started his call by saying he was a big fan of George, so Howard cut in: "Yeah, Riley gets most of his bullshit from Star Trek."

Riley said he wanted 2 weeks of paid vacation a year and an extended show: "All I want is 4 hours a week." Howard thought the hour Riley had was sufficient: "That's enough of you, an hour. I don't think you’ve got 4 hours in you." Riley quickly regressed to his usual name-calling method of negotiation, calling Howard a "chickenshit motherf’er" and telling Robin that he loved her: "Robin, I love you. I'd love to come on your tits. And Howard—f’ you."
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