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HOT FOR POTTER Penthouse Pets, Justine Joli and Alexis Love stopped by to plug their Websites. Justine said she'd been dancing burlesque at The Box, a downtown nightclub, and the results have been a chiseled body. Howard told Justine he loved her new body and then turned his attention to Alexis, a 20-year-old porn star. Before Howard could get too far, Justine took issue with Artie for not going out with her business partner, Leah, despite Leah making it very clear that she was interested in him, so Artie explained that he didn't have time to meet up with her when he was last in LA. Justine complained that some of the girls she tries to hook up with “chicken out” on her (“Real lesbians are easier to go home with”) and the neck-breaking positions her trainer puts her in when he bangs her. Howard was so excited by the stories, he decided to ask Justine some questions about her favorite subject, Harry Potter – with the punishment for an incorrect answer being a swift spank from Artie: What color are Harry Potter's eyes? Justine knew they're green. Who wrote the Hogwarts textbook “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them”? Newt Scamander – correct. How many children are in Ron Weasley's family? Seven – correct. “YOU'LL LOVE ME. I'M VERY AVERAGE.” Artie was bored by the nerdy quiz (“Enough!”) and Howard wasn't getting anywhere with it, so he asked Justine and Alexis to strip. Both jumped at the chance. After the crew got done ogling, Howard wondered how long Alexis has been in porn. Alexis said she'd been in 110 films in the two years since turning 18, but she won't do black guys: “They have big penises...I'm average. I'm not big on big.” Howard was happy to hear it: “You'll love me. I'm very average.” Howard noted that the girls were rubbing each other as they talked, so Justine confessed that they had already planned to hook up after the show. As she was describing what she would do to Alexis, the two began making out. Artie thought Alexis' teeth and lips were very Baba Booey-ish, so Alexis explained that she was wearing Invisaline braces, which made her teeth and lips appear larger and added: “Are you just bitter because you got dumped?” THE SEXED-UP HARRY POTTER GAME CONTINUES Howard got back to the “nerdy” questions: Who was the Grand Sorcerer? Justine incorrectly answered “Lord Voldemort,” so Artie came around the console to spank her. Justine told Artie that she'd remove his balls if he gave her a bruise, so he spanked her a few times (until she stopped saying “harder”) to gauge her pain tolerance. Who was the captain of Gryffindor's Quidditch team? Justine took issue with the question: “For years 5 and 6 it was Harry, but for the first three it was Oliver Wood.” Freaked out by Justine's knowledge, Howard threw the question away and tried the final question, noting that an incorrect answer would get Artie a free feel session. In “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone,” what does Harry give Hagrid for Christmas? Justine couldn't remember the correct answer – a wooden flute – so Artie got to cop his feel. Justine hated it: “I'm so skeeved out right now!”

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