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Thursday, June 24, 2010
'Little' Lupe Fuentes returned to show Howard her new (smaller) boob job: "Too big before." Robin thought Lupe's new breasts helped her look younger: "She actually looks 13 today." Howard told Lupe her new boobs matched his tiny penis, but Lupe was confused: "I don't believe you. I bet you have big--big huge cock." Robin laughed that Howard might have found his match: "She's a little girl. It might look big to her."
Lupe explained that she had to act larger than her 79lb frame when she lures other women into her bedroom, often commanding them: "Suck my pussy, bitch...all the girls suck my pussy." During these sex sessions, both of her dogs have to be locked away in an upstairs bedroom--where one recently died. The dog that survived has quite a future planned: "Her name is Lolita and she wants to become a porno star."
Howard asked Lupe how she felt about the BP oil spill, but Lupe was only peripherally aware of it: "What is that? The thing in the ocean?" Lupe said her interests weren't in the news: "I want my life to be party, f’ing, meeting girls, party." Lupe has come to expect nothing less: "I am a porno star. You have to have a huge cock
Labels: lupe Fuentes
Monday, June 21, 2010
CHRIS ROCK & DAVID SPADE STOP BY
WHO WAS PAID MORE?
CHRIS WASN'T TAUNTING KOBE
THE PRESSURES OF ENSEMBLE COMEDIES
DAVID SPADE ON LARA FLYNN BOYLE
HOW THEY WRITE THEIR ACTS
Chris told the crew how he writes his stand-up routines: "I write an hour and twenty minutes-worth of 'act'...then I go down to Florida. I go down to West Palm for about a week or two weeks. And I'll work down there for two weeks and I'll bring in, like, five guys to just watch me and they'll come up with tags for the stuff I already wrote." David said he often bought jokes from comedians--but only after he's seen them audience-tested: "I would give like five hundred bucks if it were a funny joke. [Maybe] a thousand bucks."
Labels: chris Rock
Thursday, June 17, 2010
SAL'S WEARING FAKE BAKE
came in to say he wasn't jealous, as Howard once gave him a shoebox-sized rotisserie, but Howard was more interested in his odd skin color. Sal explained: "I'm wearing Fake Bake...in the morning it's hard to see and my wife doesn't want me to spray it in the house...it's dark out in the morning. I get up at 4. So now I have to go in the backyard and I spray myself in the reflection in the window." The spray finds its way into everything: "When I blow my nose, it's, like, black." Sal later admitted: "After what happened with me and my wife, I became extremely insecure."
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Labels: Ben Stern
Thursday, June 10, 2010
BIGFOOT IS THE WACK PACK REPRESENTATIVE
NEXT TOP WACK PACKER CONTESTANT #1
CONTESTANT #2: FREDDY
CONTESTANT #3: GRAVEYARD GREG
CONTESTANT #4: ROBERT THE RETARD CROSS DRESSER
Robert said he was into women, but never had sex with them: "I've had girls all day and all night." Robert admitted that he only used his penis for pleasure in private. Howard asked: "Would you say you're confused sexually?" Robert nodded: "A little bit." While Robert denied ever having sex with a real woman, he did confess to trying to f’ a blow up doll: "One time. My father bought two of ‘em. She blew up in my bed...I took the pump and pumped her up too far and she blew up."
HE NEXT TOP WACK PACKER
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Sal came in to tell the crew his wife had sex with him last week--once: "It was pretty good. She said, 'Speed it up.' You know...It took a little while to heat up." Howard asked if Christine was turned on, but Sal was unsure: "Somewhat." Sal said he got things started with a simple slap on the butt: "The kids were away and she just got out of the shower. So I patted her on the ass." Christine made him shower first, as he hadn�t taken one since going fishing earlier in the day.
Sal said he also went a bike ride with his family over the break (after purchasing not one, but TWO bikes for Christine--the second had a cute basket) and nearly broke down from stress over their safety: "I just wanted to throw them all in the dumpster behind Red Lobster and leave!" Before he left, Sal told the crew that--like Howard--he'd once masturbated to a mental image of his wife: "When I was done, I was like, 'Wow,' this is legitimate...I think Carter was in office."howardstern.com