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Tuesday, August 18, 2009
QUENTIN TARANTINO IS NOT YOUR FRIEND Quentin Tarantino stopped by to promote “Inglourious Basterds” and immediately had to answer for some of his confusing casting decisions. Quentin said he always had his reasons choosing some actors but didn't befriend them all: "I'm very immature about that kind of a thing...you get close but you only see each other every couple of years. We don't go out and meet at the corner bar or anything like that." QUENTIN'S SEXUAL RESUME Quentin refused to confirm or deny that he'd slept with Uma Thurman: "I'm not going to talk about stuff like that." He did admit to making out with Kathy Griffin. Quentin also admitted to banging Margaret Cho, calling her "pretty crazy" and laughing that she wasn't the best sex he'd ever had. HANGING WITH THE PITT-JOLIES Howard commended Brad Pitt's performance in “Inglourious Basterds” ("He's actually a great actor.") and asked how much Quentin paid him. Quentin wasn't specific, saying "something like $9 million." Quentin added that he met all of the Pitt-Jolie kids and thought they were very sweet: "It was kind of cool." The pair had one disagreement, over the ending of the film: "I went one way with it and history goes another way with it." Howard asked Quentin had seen any maids or nannies when he was visiting Brad and Angelina's home in France, as they claim not to employ any, but Quentin dodged: "They do have friends that help them out." GOING OUT LIKE A BAD ASS Quentin said he planned to retire from directing films at 60: "That'd be a good time to get into just writing and raising a family." Howard asked if he planned to go out like David Carradine, and Quentin said he wasn't sure auto-erotic asphyxiation was what killed David: "But for the sake of conversation, I think that's f’ing bad ass. He went out great as far as I'm concerned." Quentin added that David lived 5 different lives: "He was a wild dude howardstern.com
Friday, August 14, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
SAL RUINS A BIRTHDAY PARTY, OWN SEX LIFE Sal's friend Ian called in to complain that Sal had ruined his wife's recent birthday party, explain “Guess What's In My Pouch,” went off on an anti-Semitic rant, asked a Latino woman to score him drugs, insulted the guest of honor and drew jiz all over her birthday portrait. Sal later crashed at Ian's house and hid bananas everywhere--even stuffing them down the toilets. Sal said he called Ian the next day to apologize for the one thing he remembered--insulting Ian's sister--and learned about everything else he'd done: "I hadn't really been drinking in 3 months...I blacked out." Sal added that his wife was so upset by the evening, she won't have sex with him anymore--when he tried to bang her the next day, she held up her hand, telling him: "Go away. Don't analyze it, Mr. Shrink. Just take it for what it is." “ALL MY LOADS ARE HORRIBLE. ASK MY WIFE.” Sal was proud of drunkenly defacing the birthday girl's portrait: "I drew an arrow to her crotch saying, 'Wish I was here.'" Fred was positive: "At least that's a compliment." Asked to demonstrate his jiz-tagging skills, Sal whipped out a marker and drew a splotch on a photo of a woman's face. Howard and Artie thought the results were terrible. Sal shrugged: "All my loads are horrible. Ask my wife." SPIDER HARRISON WANTS TO TALK ABOUT PEE Sirius XM DJ, Spider Harrison stopped by to promote the work he does over at Sirius Hits 1 and tell a few stories from his long radio career. Howard asked what separated him from Casey Kasem, so Spider cited Casey's trademark teases. He added that because Sirius XM's music stations are commercial-free--and, even better, uncensored: "It's more fun to talk about Kelly Clarkson peeing in the shower." Howard then wondered if Spider's deep voice translated to his genitals: "Are your balls bigger than two oranges?" Spider affirmed Howard’s assumption, noting that his wife had cautioned him to just tell the truth when he went on Howard’s show.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
GEORGE & THE CREW PLAY GUESS THE TESTICLES Howard started off the show with a game called, Guess the Testicle, in which Richard, Sal and Benjy all step behind a curtain and shove one of their balls through a hole. The crew would then try to match each sack with its owner. As the guys got ready, George laughed: "Let me put my glasses on." Howard noted that #2 had the biggest balls and #1 the smallest. Robin was repulsed by the sight: "Oh my god!" George guessed that sack #1 was Richard, #3 was Benjy and #2 was Sal. Robin agreed that Richard had to be #1, but thought Benjy was #2. Artie sided with Robin, referencing The Gossip Game: "The fake story is...I'm enjoying this." Howard struggled, finally guessing the order went Benjy, Richard and then Sal: "I've seen their dicks so often, I thought it'd be a no-brainer." The guys then stepped out to reveal themselves: #1 was Richard. #2 was Benjy. #3, of course, was Sal. Later George complained: "I would've preferred to have seen the whole thing."